Ashurbanipal vs. Kamehameha

Discussion in 'Civ5 - General Discussions' started by daveydave8, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. phaethon16

    phaethon16 King

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    Really? I was expecting an answer like "Genghis knows how to cook traitors over an open fire to juicy perfection" or "You've never heard of his baby-face stew?" You know, the various 13th century Mongol delicacies. On another note, they should make a drama about Ramses and his various daughter/wives. It would have a nice soap-opera feel to it.
     
  2. teriaky

    teriaky Rich peasant

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    Kamehameha movie would be full of half naked guys.
    I wonder which movie would be the most violent? Monctezuma? Attila? Genghis?
     
  3. God of Kings

    God of Kings Ruler of all heads of state

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    Add Shaka to the list.
     
  4. DonStamos

    DonStamos Mobster Inc©

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    I had barg and garlic chicken at a Persian place.

    The chicken needed more garlic :(
     
  5. KaneofEgypt

    KaneofEgypt Chieftain

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    Gandhi's.
     
  6. phaethon16

    phaethon16 King

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    Wu's, hands down. Everyone else would have battle violence or sacrifices. Wu's movie would be a political thriller about her various purges and infanticides.
     
  7. PrimoXanthous

    PrimoXanthous ~ knightmare13 ~

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    i think Montezuma, i want a movie how he murdered a hundreds of birds just to have a gorgeous pretty head dress.
     
  8. Princeofnigeria

    Princeofnigeria The illustrious

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    Most violent movies:
    Genghis (highest death toll)
    Atilla (most barbaric)
    Oda nobunaga (the whole thing would be 2 1/2 hours of bloody civil war)
    Good Political thrillers:
    Haile (fighting a defensive war for freedom and being forced to be a king in exile, all whilst assassins prowl for you every day. Only downside is having to portray 20th century italy WINNING a fight, a fate more damaging to etheopian nationalism than the invasion itself)
    Cathrine (very raunchy... Pretty much 2 hours of screwing people out of land litterally)
    Augustus (Rome wasn't built in a day, and wasn't always a mighty empire. Very cool/ different to pick the story up near the beggining also lots of backstabbing)
    Elizemeth (done to death)
    Good stupid action movies:
    Boudiccia (no BLEEP sherlock)
    Suleiman ( just a big cluster F- of massive battles and one sultun commanding on hourseback from the hills. A cool reverse 300, whereby the Ottoman army was a massive, nigh unstoppable force, stopped only by vienna and the dastardly winged hussars)
    Pachacutti (a bloody orgy of tribal warfare and brutal torture)
    Good mixes:
    Napoleon (a hood balance of all 3)
    Washington (good action movie, with a side of internal political turmoil and bennedicts rage as the inferior washington steals all of his honor and glory, even stealing his title)
    William (a movie of sizzling vengence, as william slowly but surely builds a rebellion, with the final 30 minutes being a bloody revolution and massive ship battles.)
     
  9. Biologist

    Biologist Emperor

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    She would be played by Helena Bonham Carter and the movie would be directed by Tim Burton.
     
  10. fuzzatron717

    fuzzatron717 Holy Warrior

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    If any movie Maria the mad would play that freaky possessed chick from the exorcist.
     
  11. Crow7878

    Crow7878 Chieftain

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    Spoiler :
    "I heard the bullets whistle and, believe me, there is something charming to the sound of bullets."

    Okay, George Washington is obviously going to give Quentin Tarantino a run for his money with sheer bullet count. We could expect over 200,000 rounds to be the ratio of bullets to deaths of plot important characters. Expect characters who enjoy aspects of combat, such as the smell of napalm in the morning and almost all forms of transportation used to be destroyed.

    According to Alton Brown, George Washington spent over $200 in their day's currency values every summer on ice-cream. We can expect geniuses to be sweet-tooths in the vein of L. Also expect luxurious spreads of deserts to be shown during the film in what would be called "erotica" if done with anything else.

    "In confidence I tell you, that my movement to the chair of government will be accompanied by feelings not unlike those of a culprit who is going to the place of his execution."

    Okay, so we can expect characters to be simultaneously reluctant and heroic. We are dealing with characters who do not trust themselves with power and may have potentially abused their powers in the past.

    Washington also seemed to have a "the men first" mentality in that he was often the last to evacuate from bad situations. We can expect that a movie by him will involve this sort of "hold the line", "heroic sacrifice" mentality to them. Washington even stopped plans for a coup d'état by veterans of the Revolutionary War by putting on glasses to make a speech, a tear-jerker and an awesome moment in general. From this, we can get the impression that characters are or used to be authority figures, such as police commissioners, team-leaders, commanding officers, etcetera who act as the sort of "Father to his Men" type of figure. This also gives the impression for a strong camaraderie between lead characters and some real potential for tear-jerkers.

    George Washington had aspirations to be a gentleman. He was particularly known for treating POWs well, which was a major propaganda blow against the royalist side. This gentlemanly nature did have limits, as he could break it when sufficiently provoked by such people as the French ambassador. Expect characters by him to be gentlemen who will probably settle matters with the villain honorably in a good duel or otherwise brought to justice while having a temper so rarely seen it is a shocking OoC moment when it happens.


    So, a movie by George Washington would involve ridiculous amounts of gunfire, dessert erotica, reluctant heroes, inevitably overwhelming odds while waiting for the cavalry to arrive or for the rest to escape, gentlemen who settle their differences with the villain in honorably manly ways, idealistically bringing the villain to justice, teams led by fatherly and reasonable authority figures, and a moment of anger from any of the gentlemanly characters being the moment the actor portraying him gets an Oscar.

    This is the movie that makes you grow a beard which you then shave to ensure you keep your gentlemanly way. These are epic movies filled with war and action, with potential for settings in fantasy and science fiction that will inevitably have camaraderie and suitably large battles with weapons that streak across the battlefield or shine nicely. The team of characters will inevitably give you at least one tear before you leave the theater, and will get you out of the theater cheering. There will inevitably be an orchestral soundtrack which make you feel sad or heroic depending upon the moment, probably composed by Hans Zimmer or Michael Giacchino. Expect some Oscar snubs due to Oscar bait movies released near the same time. Either way, you will be going out of that theater satisfied.
     
  12. Joe Hoofer

    Joe Hoofer Chieftain

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    Link to video.
     
  13. poom3619

    poom3619 Ping Pang Poom!

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    ^ :lol: If Gandhi just had Yoga fires...
     
  14. Princeofnigeria

    Princeofnigeria The illustrious

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    Misquoted Gandhi-"There are many causes I am willing to die for, but none I am willing to kill for."
    Actual quote -"I will Dye shirts for many causes, but I kill for no-one, except me."
     
  15. bouncymischa

    bouncymischa Synthetic Genie

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    Man, I totally want to see that movie. Why don't we get movies like that these days? :(
     
  16. God of Kings

    God of Kings Ruler of all heads of state

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    ...and stretchable limbs.
     
  17. HeraldtheGreat

    HeraldtheGreat King

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    We may as well stop posting now, there is no way to top that video.
     
  18. Princeofnigeria

    Princeofnigeria The illustrious

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    Unless... Gandhi 2 Vs black dynamite anyone? Or would they just team up to defeat whitey?
     
  19. Homusubi

    Homusubi Lafcadio Hearn Wannabe

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    Films: the first topic out of the 843205720532058432583210318102910314371 [precisely] that were covered in this thread that I actually feel bored by.
     
  20. trexeric

    trexeric (or backwards 'cirexert')

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    Same here, but that Gandhi 2 thing was amusing.
     

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