"My lord, we are ready to settle. Where should we place our first city? On the spot, or on top of the stone for the extra hammer?"
"Dude, there's like, no food for a hundred miles in every direction. That's...that's no place for a cap. Let's wander randomly until we find someplace better!"
"I...but..."
"Don't worry man. It's gonna be fiiiiine."
3 turns later
"Huh, that turned out...better than expected."
"See, I told you, it's no problem. Gosh, why do I have advisers around anyways."
After first settler is completed:
"My lord, our first settler is done. Where should we send him? To the stone and sheep? Up north, where there are some pigs and wine?"
"I don't like this horsehockyting Bull dude. Let's put it niiiice and snug right up his borders. See how he likes
that."
"You cannot be serious! The Native Americans have dog soldiers and archers! If we are to provoke a war at this point there is no way we can survive!"
"Just...chill, dude. He hates that Brennus guy a lot more. We cool, man, we cool."
A couple of turns later
"Your next several city spots seem to be more...sane. But the Native Americans just stole our first ring pigs from Antium. Surely we should build a monument there for a border pop? Or perhaps a library."
"You're, like, not being creative enough man. There's something better we can build there that's, like, a library but cheaper."
"What do you mean?"
"Get with the times! I'm talking about building The Great Wall for the +2
/turn! It's half as expensive as a library with stone and IND."
"You're building...The Great Wall. For a
border pop."
"Yes."
"...I have no words."
"Oh, and you know what else I'm gonna do for a border pop? Chop out the mids! Great way to use all those forests, won't you agree?"
"...Why do I bother with you."
Next time on the adventures of Augustoned: phant madness!