ok ok, since some ppl seem to not have the ability to read my signature *no offens to those ppl* i wish to simply put out thear for every one, so ther is no confusion in the futear that im autistick*sp*
i stole this link from another discusion
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism
any way, im a "high fucaning autism". in other words i fucan mostly as normal, but im a few areas im extreamly poor, such as math, spelling, and gramer and so on.. i Cant even do basic divison, or multiplacation. i realrly ever smile socaly, i prefer being alone *im gessing that gose with socal disorder* and i donno if me being a freak as many of u whold put it *for those who have seen my pics* is part of it :S.. i didnt speak untill i was 3 years old, nor did i make very much nose or bable type stuff as a baby.
whats intresting is since i choldnt speak i made my own words up, like numna was blanket, and i allso made my own sing languig up.. i forgot all of it realy, but from what im told *my old doctors and mom* i had a small vocabulary..
it must have been intresting to see me develope my own words to compinsate for me not knwoing any english tell over 3 years of age..
i used to be in all specal ed*i mean the hevaly specal ed, the classes with the guys that doll on them selfs and have to wear helmats cus thay walk into walls* classes, but i was pushed hard by my mom and my self. i allways self difrent and alienated by the ppl around me, i realy was teased alot as a kid by the "normal" guys and felt alone and just... not at company with the other specal ed guys.. in jr high i was doing so well in sicens and histroy thay put me in a ordanry class but with modifcations
but for math english and so on i was still in the hevaly specal ed class
but by high scool i was doing even beater!! i was in all normal histroy and sicenc, gov, and economics class!! and even ap art class! this is the one thing im truly proud of my self for, is pulling my self up so much and working so hard to be as "normal" as posible.
i wasint in the heavlay specal ed classes for math english and all that any more eather, but was in the classes for kids who are still not as good as other guys..
faild thear...
any way.. mom calls me a mirical baby, cus i have done so much to make my self as good as i can be. i have realy chaged, from a guy who is just siting ther kinda huming in a specal ed class lost in the world to one who understand so many things that mostp pl my ages just dont even realize..
yea im still not "normal" if u have seen my pic u can tell that.
but i like how i dress and look, for me its not that im sad and that the worlds a dark place, its just.. i do it cus i think its good looking, and form me it expresses how much the world is a beautifull place.. its kinda ironic and dosent make sienc but im the artist deep thinker type so what do u expect?
i still will allways in some way hate my self for being so bad in some areas.. and now that im 18 im soo lost to what im saposed to do with my life!! i want a good job and to go to collage but i havent heard back from the grant in 4 months allmost now
im afried i wont get it!! to be honnest, im so scared now.. lol.. im 18 and i got to set my life in motion, no longer a lil teen.. o and i do got a min wage job at quiznos
lol... it sucks but at least its a lil.. what i plan to do is to save a lil money insted of blowing it on crap and invest in eather stocks or bonds
if any one has any sugestions for my life to get it going thell be wllcome *god knows i need some help!! this is realy a plea for some one to help me
* lol.... so hope some of yall understand now, and hope this isint closed
sorry to be buging u
Justin *i never singe with my name so u can tell i put emotion into it
*
edit, allso no spell check on pc, so another resion its spelld bad.. hope u chold read a lil of it and bear with it long enofe to finish
i stole this link from another discusion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism
any way, im a "high fucaning autism". in other words i fucan mostly as normal, but im a few areas im extreamly poor, such as math, spelling, and gramer and so on.. i Cant even do basic divison, or multiplacation. i realrly ever smile socaly, i prefer being alone *im gessing that gose with socal disorder* and i donno if me being a freak as many of u whold put it *for those who have seen my pics* is part of it :S.. i didnt speak untill i was 3 years old, nor did i make very much nose or bable type stuff as a baby.
whats intresting is since i choldnt speak i made my own words up, like numna was blanket, and i allso made my own sing languig up.. i forgot all of it realy, but from what im told *my old doctors and mom* i had a small vocabulary..
it must have been intresting to see me develope my own words to compinsate for me not knwoing any english tell over 3 years of age..
i used to be in all specal ed*i mean the hevaly specal ed, the classes with the guys that doll on them selfs and have to wear helmats cus thay walk into walls* classes, but i was pushed hard by my mom and my self. i allways self difrent and alienated by the ppl around me, i realy was teased alot as a kid by the "normal" guys and felt alone and just... not at company with the other specal ed guys.. in jr high i was doing so well in sicens and histroy thay put me in a ordanry class but with modifcations


but by high scool i was doing even beater!! i was in all normal histroy and sicenc, gov, and economics class!! and even ap art class! this is the one thing im truly proud of my self for, is pulling my self up so much and working so hard to be as "normal" as posible.
i wasint in the heavlay specal ed classes for math english and all that any more eather, but was in the classes for kids who are still not as good as other guys..

any way.. mom calls me a mirical baby, cus i have done so much to make my self as good as i can be. i have realy chaged, from a guy who is just siting ther kinda huming in a specal ed class lost in the world to one who understand so many things that mostp pl my ages just dont even realize..
yea im still not "normal" if u have seen my pic u can tell that.

i still will allways in some way hate my self for being so bad in some areas.. and now that im 18 im soo lost to what im saposed to do with my life!! i want a good job and to go to collage but i havent heard back from the grant in 4 months allmost now



if any one has any sugestions for my life to get it going thell be wllcome *god knows i need some help!! this is realy a plea for some one to help me


Justin *i never singe with my name so u can tell i put emotion into it

edit, allso no spell check on pc, so another resion its spelld bad.. hope u chold read a lil of it and bear with it long enofe to finish