It's not about you, though. The game is supposed to be frustrating... that is the point of a strategy game. It should make you think, hard.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding you. Are you saying that I shouldn't be able to play the game that I paid money for the way I want to play it? If so, then I 100% disagree with you. For me, having fun is the most important thing in this or any other game. I don't want to be frustrated, I get enough of that at work. I play to have fun. Barbarians, to me, aren't fun because they distract me from the parts of the game I do find fun. If I only have 2 hours to play and have to spend the first 15, 20, 30 minutes dealing with a part of the game I don't enjoy, then I feel I haven't got the most out of my game. Also, barbarians don't make me think, hard or otherwise. They make me build units when I'd rather build something else. They make me run those units around the map squashing barbs and their camps when I'd rather be doing something else. They make me waste my time and have less fun. But they certainly don't make me think.
If you like dealing with barbarians and all that, that's fine for you. I can see where people would find that enjoyable. It's just not for me. I also don't play for fastest win time, even though a lot of people on this forum think that is the best/only way to play. Most of the time I never finish my games, like the Kongo game I was talking about. I just stopped playing, but I had fun while I was playing and a big part of that was because I turned barbarians off. I also don't chop every tree in sight, even though a lot of people here think that's the best way to do things. I like my trees. I only chop them if I want to build something on that tile. Why? Beats me, that's just how I do things in my game. I also don't war all game long, etc. etc.
So, sorry, but my game is about me. What my game is not about is you. Your game is about you. We play the game differently. That's fine. As far as I'm concerned, as long as you or I or whoever is enjoying the game the way they choose to play, they're playing the right way.
Of course if that wasn't what you meant, then I did misunderstand you and you can feel free to not read all that stuff I just wrote. Which you probably already did. Cuz this is at the end and all that other stuff came first. Sorry.