Plains-Cow
Best Resource; Always Wins
On my recent game (lost it), I'm playing as Catherine of Russia and have two vassals. I'm trying to wrap up a war quickly against Shaka who was already at war (he DOW'd Sitting Bull) before then swinging my forces around to attack the culture leader (Pacal). I have plenty of time to do so, and plan on ending the game after capping Pacal, but before I can finish the war with Shaka, he vassals to Sitting Bull and not me! I took city after city, checking each turn to see if Shaka would vassal, but he'd always say "refuses to talk!" My army was stuck super-deep in Shaka's territory with ZERO open borders. Railroads, transports, nothing matters because I can't move this army out of the city with Zulu culture all around it. Shaka had one city left before vassaling to Sitting Bull; he never would even speak with me. By the time I put together another force, Pacal's cities have had enough culture in them to push borders so far away from his cities that it was impossible to make it to the last cultural city in time.
I've lost other games too (ironcially to Shaka) because war allies have vassaled to him almost immediately after making peace (not same turn; I'm saying that a non-vassal war ally of mine would make peace and then would vassal to our mutual war enemy two or three turns later). The worst part is often they'd only lose one city or one battle before suing for peace and then vassaling a few turns later. Actually, that's not even the worst part. The worst part is when I have taken cities off of our mutual war enemy but then my ally still vassals to them after making peace! That's brutal!
In short, what can I do to possibly stop this or at least reduce the chances of it happening? I get that the AI has personalities and that they don't always "play-to-win," but it makes no sense that I have crushed enemy stacks and have taken multiple enemy cities yet they refuse to even consider vassaling to me...but will vassal to someone who has had zero comparative success against them in war!
Help a confused cow out?
I've lost other games too (ironcially to Shaka) because war allies have vassaled to him almost immediately after making peace (not same turn; I'm saying that a non-vassal war ally of mine would make peace and then would vassal to our mutual war enemy two or three turns later). The worst part is often they'd only lose one city or one battle before suing for peace and then vassaling a few turns later. Actually, that's not even the worst part. The worst part is when I have taken cities off of our mutual war enemy but then my ally still vassals to them after making peace! That's brutal!
In short, what can I do to possibly stop this or at least reduce the chances of it happening? I get that the AI has personalities and that they don't always "play-to-win," but it makes no sense that I have crushed enemy stacks and have taken multiple enemy cities yet they refuse to even consider vassaling to me...but will vassal to someone who has had zero comparative success against them in war!
Help a confused cow out?

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