Black Comedy: The Fourth World Order


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♫We got the guillotine♫
Mar 31, 2008

The Soviet Union is no more. While I can't tell you the real the reasons behind the fall of that evil empire, I can say with an acceptable level of pride that the private sector's solution to public nuisances (like the communists) were cost-effective, if not under budget.

Unfortunately, I must also say with an acceptable level of pride that I won't live to enjoy the fall for long for you see, I'm redundant. I'm a loose end. Yes, me. I thought I knew too much to kill, but apparently I didn't know enough.

So, my beloved reader, know this. The monolithic global conspiracy that has dictated global affairs for the last eighty years? It doesn't exist, as I learned when my plane went down over the Pacific. My employers are gunning for one another, Illuminated warlords they are now. I might survive because everybody is too busy killing one another to care about little old me.

The rest of this Illuminated.txt is to help you get started. I don't care if you're a would-be Illuminated warlord seeking power for the sake of power or a cult seeking to bring about the end of the world. This starter-kit will help you. For now.

-Regina Flowers, First Order of Nosdracha, First Circle, Third Chair​
The Illuminated World

A map for crazies, by crazies, but might not be crazy depending on which notion of reality you wish to subscribe to.
I will divide the world into three spheres: The Sleeping Sphere, Illuminated Sphere, and the Shadowy Fringes.

The Sleeping Sphere is inhabited by the billions of people who go about their lives day-in, day-out, unaware of the connections linking the untimely death of a bar owner in Chicago with an explosion that killed hundreds of mine workers in China. I call it the Sleeping Sphere because they exist in a peaceful state of sleep, and hey, people sleep at night.

The Illuminated Sphere is where I live and work, and where you probably work (but maybe not live). The fact that the bar owner was a member of the First Order of Nosdracha, Fifth Circle, First Chair, and that the Chinese mine was owned by a front company for a cabal of Chinese Christian fundamentalists suspected of assassinating him is probably Illuminated knowledge, plain in the Illuminated Sphere.

So what are the Shadowy Fringes? Well, beyond the world of peaceful sleep and waking Illuminated day is the Dawn and Dusk. For example, the fact that the cabal of Christians suspected of being behind the assassination of the bar owner is, itself, led by a member of the Second Order of Nosdracha, is knowledge very few people will have. As a matter of fact, I know for a fact some organizations only exist in the Shadowy Fringes. Some organizations that I believe exist may not really exist, but are figments of an overtly powerful imagination.

Knowledge, my beloved reader, is power. In a few years, the image of a man with a mission connecting faces and organizations on a bulletin board with thumbtacks and string will become the image of the average American conspiracy theorist in the popular media. For good reason.
Waking Up
Whether you want to or not, you are now waking up from your fruitful sleep. Whether the Illuminated Sphere is worth waking up into is, well, not really my problem. You're reading, you know too much. How did you get a hold of this? By delving too deep.


To join my world, you must sketch out the organizations and notable individuals making up your grand conspiracy. I'm going to give you an example, please forgive me.

The First Order of Nosdracha
Mission Statement: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Details: [REDACTED]
Notable Members: [REDACTED], [REDACTED], Regina Flowers

Simple right? Well, this is just the Order itself. One of the First Order's notable members was a former FBI director.

Mission Statement: To protect the American people and uphold the Constitution of the United States by protecting civil rights, combating transnational/national criminal organizations and enterprises, combating white-collar crime, and combating significant violent crime.
Details: It is the FBI, what more needs to be said?
Notable Members: Director [REDACTED], etc.

So what's the issue? The First Order of Nosdracha won't appear in the "Illuminated Ledger" os organizations, because at the time it existed only on the shadowy fringe. The FBI, on the other hand, will appear on the Illuminated Ledger. Director X will be a known quantity, since he is an influential and active FBI director. What wouldn't be Illuminated knowledge is that Director X is a member of the Order.

Not all our notable members are in key positions like this. For example, we controlled a good number of organizations indirectly. For a while, one prominent political party was under our control because we indirectly influenced several individuals who made well-respected donations to this party and its candidates.

That is what you need to remember. Not all influence is direct.
Stupid Novice Questions
(Which I'm going to answer anyway, so not that stupid)

"Hey Reg, can I 'wake up' in the Shadowy Fringes? I'm asking for a reptilian friend."
Spoiler :
Yes! Keep in mind that you can't keep everything secret. The Peach Corporation (you know, those guys who make computers), aren't going to exist in the Shadowy Fringes when every idiot is buying a computer with a half-eaten Peach on it.

I can't babysit you as you build your conspiracy, because I'm dead. I mean, I can (what is death anymore), but I won't.

"Hello, Regina. Big fan. I'm from Zurich. Do I need to really focus on the United States?"
Spoiler :
The United States is literally world's last remaining superpower, and unfortunately, reports trickling through the Illuminated Sphere are from this viewpoint. So yeah, my gnome, you might want to focus on the winner here instead of your stupid mountains, tax havens, and Nazi gold.

"Well Regina, love, I've created the Third Order of Nosdracha. What now?"
Spoiler :
What are you, 12?

That's not fair, you're a baby. You're new to this world. Come here, child, and I'll break out the crayons and coloring book so you can color by the numbers for a while until you learn to draw like an adult.

You are a notable member of your own organization! As a matter of fact, you may be the leader. As a matter of fact, you may be an all-powerful leader. In any case, you will issue orders, and the great machinery that is your conspiracy will move to implement your ideas.

For example, when the First Circle voted that a certain bothersome journalist should be dealt with (non-lethally), our resident FBI director directed elements of the FBI to make that journalist's life so interesting he quickly forgot we existed.

In another example, when we voted to start a war in Southeast Asia, well, none of us had that power directly. What we did do was sway public opinion, political opinion, and reality in Southeast Asia that the war exploded.

However, this doesn't make us Gods. As a matter of fact, in the last years of the First Order of Nosdracha, we noticed that the many individuals and organizations within our conspiracy were beginning to operate too independently. Some Illuminated individuals, with access to the wealth and knowledge that comes with being in the Order, begin pursuing goals detrimental to the First Order.

You must remember that you cannot control everything. Don't even bother.

Oh, you're still wondering what you can do?

Ask yourself what you need to do. Figure out what your capabilities are. Go about to accomplishing your goals. If I was a self-help guru, I would have charged you $25 for a book saying that. You're getting this advice for free.

You're welcome.

This world is pretty freeform. This is no rulebook, and you know what? The numbers don't matter that much. Yeah, the Boy Scouts aren't going to have the money and access to acquire military hardware, but you aren't going to be dealing with the budgets. That's for the lower circles.

You're a leader, so lead.

"Are you always going to answer questions in-character?"
Spoiler :
What are you talking about "in-character"? I don't know what plane of existence you reside on, but on this plane, we're always "in character". Most of us may be two-faced, but both of those faces are part of our character.


"I'm a Cabal of Jewish/Armenian/Jewkurd Bankers."
Spoiler :
No you're not.

"What are the rules for this public forum exactly?"
Spoiler :
I don't know what this is referencing, but a voice in my head is telling me to write this.

Everything posted in this thread is Illuminated. If you want to send a message indirectly to somebody, send a private prayer to the God of Dice [no relation] with your message and everything will move ahead from there. In year, there will be a post explaining everything that happened in the last year. I mean, not everything. You know what I mean, right?

Right. Right.

"So orders are sent to-?"
Spoiler :
The God of Dice (PBUH, yes.

Spoiler :
This original post is really uninformative Sonereal. It is like you're being intentionally obtuse here. Aren't you already running a game? Are there really no numbers, or is this just a ruse and you're secretly running a workbook in the background?

What is going on Sonereal? What is really going on?

It is almost as if you wrote this original post in such a way to weed out [DATA EXPUNGED AND REDACTED. NO BODIES DISCOVERED.]
One reserve for each Order of Nosdracha I'm pretty sure exists.
Here's a second one, but screw those guys.
I'm pretty sure the Third one is a lie, but this is the last one I'm sure exists anyway.
You don't know when they came, why they left, or what they wanted. You don't know how the Illuminated know this. You might not even know how you know. But one thing is certain.

The Reptoids have returned.
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Hi guys, you favorite deceased Illuminati grandmaster here!

Just popping my head into the break room to ask that people don't post images that warrant epilepsy warnings even in spoilers! This project lives or dies by the number of participants not suffering from seizures!

What epilepsy inducing picture? There was never such a thing. And if there was it certainly would have been removed.
Is it illuminated knowledge that supernatural beings exist? Or are the stories of Gods, demons, eldritch horrors and more just the works of the delusional, drug-addicted and metalheads?
Is it illuminated knowledge that supernatural beings exist? Or are the stories of Gods, demons, eldritch horrors and more just the works of the delusional, drug-addicted and metalheads?

In my time, there were more than a few cults claiming supernatural existence. I'm inclined to dismiss most of them, but some were...a bit too convincing.
Are thou a demon? We of the Knight Templar will protect the world from your evil clutches! Non nobis Domine, non nobis, sed nomini tuo da gloriam!
This project begins this Monday at noon, Eastern Time. #stayingwoke
Hi! If you're having problems understanding the words used here, follow this link and it should help clear up some issues!

Speaking of organizations that aren't my beloved First Order of Nosdracha, you have these guys. They call themselves the Knights of Excalibur, and have been around for, gee, a few centuries maybe? There used to be the Knights of the Round Table, but a schism and civil war destroyed that organization in the 1920s around the time the First Order came onto the scene and stole all knightly thunder.

Mission: The complete destruction of organized religion and governance followed by the implementation of a single one world government. In practice, not really.

Details: The Knights of Excalibur still exist, but they're not that big of a deal anymore. When the Knights dissolved into two warring factions in the 1920s, several members joined up with Nosdracha and brought in a treasure trove of knowledge about the group. Several presidents were members of the Knights at one time or another, but there were never more than thirteen members on the council at a time.

Notable Members: The Thirteenth Knight leads the councils, but I don't know who he is. Most people don't. However, we do know a few members. Githa Larson, CEO of the Peach Corporation, is the Fourth Knight. She's a pretty generous woman and sits on the board of a few charitable organizations including the North American Disaster Relief Fund. Her and her husband, Evan Larson, run the Githa and Evan Larson Foundation, which is all about finding scientific solutions to poverty in the third world. Not really sure if Evan is a knight, but it wouldn't surprise me.

There's Kolya Lagunov, a Russian-American mob boss based out of Chicago. Nasty piece of work. You work with him? You're fine. You try to run a serious "enterprise" in Chicago without his permission? Your family goes missing. Your dog goes missing. Your house burns down.

But you live at least. He's a stand up guy like that. Nobody's seen head nor tail of Kolya in a few years though, so he might be sick something fierce. His crew is known as the Chicago Bratva. The Chicago Bratva run a number of legitimate businesses throughout Chicago and the Midwest. Most famous of which is the Brickfence Tavern in Chicago, a gay bar. I don't know if Freedom Chemical is owned by the mob, but they definitely have dealings with the mob. N

Finally, there is Sunday Christians. Don't know what her story is. Unlike the typical councilmember, she doesn't run an influential organization. I don't even know if she's a real person or the name for the council's extremely effective security apparatus. If you survive a meeting with her, let me know.
Less a conspiracy, and more a story of one of the United State's two equally incompetent major parties: The Republic Party. Yes, I did vote Paul/Marrou, thank you for asking!

The current President of the United States is George H.W. Bush and the Vice President is Dan Quayle. However, the Democratic Party holds majorities in the Senate and House, and Tom Foley is the Speaker of the House.

There is an election this year, but it doesn't really matter since I"m pretty sure Bush will win, but who knows? Just between you and me, I don't know what Democrats are running this year primary-wise anyway, so I'm sure you people will fill me in due time.

Keep stock of these parties, my beloved Illuminated readers, because both parties are actually pretty difficult to influence. Donations and gifts can only go so far when there are limits on these (for now) and so many hands in the cookie jar. I've seen Illuminated warlords come and go who thought they could just flood the game with money take control of the whole structure, but it doesn't work that way.

Money talks, yeah, but there are other ways to influence votes. If I listed every single way you could influence votes, this would be a rulebook, now wouldn't it?
Six days left.
Going to be gone most of the weekend, but the game will (probably) start Monday if interest holds. Have a good weekend, everybody.
2+2 = 5
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