'Bloop' or 'Ker-plunk'

[CavLancer]

Through a series of unbelievable orbital perturbations the nature of which I will not get involved with at this juncture, the Earth could fall right into Jupiter. A terrible catastrophe, a calamity, the end of all we love or have loved to despise, depending on your age and political affiliation. The jig is up, the end is written, our fates are in the cards, we're effed, there's nothing for it, all the experts are agreed, except on one thing. When mother Earth takes her last bow, her grand dive into the deep end, and goes to her final doom, what sound will it make?

As an aside I'm testing out a new, straight forward, poll answering request to make my poll answers devoid of all humor, for the greater good, and at the request of a humorless lot I can only assume. What do you think?

 

[Farm Boy]

What would downtown do?

 

[shadowplay]

Carry On My Wayward Son is the most terrifying sound I can name. I imagine it will sound something like that.

 

[GoodSarmatian]

Since Jupiter is a gas giant it would have to be a very long and high pitched 'woooooooooooooo....'.
'Bloop' is close enough.

 

[CavLancer]

'weeeeooo' is another possibility I suppose.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Through a series of unbelievable orbital perturbations the nature of which I will not get involved with at this juncture, the Earth could fall right into Jupiter. A terrible catastrophe, a calamity, the end of all we love or have loved to despise, depending on your age and political affiliation. The jig is up, the end is written, our fates are in the cards, we're effed, there's nothing for it, all the experts are agreed, except on one thing. When mother Earth takes her last bow, her grand dive into the deep end, and goes to her final doom, what sound will it make?

As an aside I'm testing out a new, straight forward, poll answering request to make my poll answers devoid of all humor, for the greater good, and at the request of a humorless lot I can only assume. What do you think?

Your sources for all this? Reputable ones, please, not tabloid ones.

And your poll-composition skills still need improvement. Lots of improvement.

 

[CavLancer]

Fox news The ultimate authority.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Because of that gas giant thing, I'm thinking it's more of a long hissing noise. That not being an option in the poll field, I have to go with ker-plunk just because I like it as a sound.

On a technical side note, if the Earth is headed towards Jupiter, which is away from the sun, is it correct to call the motion falling? Wouldn't falling as a direction be determined by the greatest relevant source of gravity?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Fox news The ultimate authority.

Being good journalists they verified two independent sources; Breitbart and Red State Blog.

 

[Lexicus]

On a technical side note, if the Earth is headed towards Jupiter, which is away from the sun, is it correct to call the motion falling? Wouldn't falling as a direction be determined by the greatest relevant source of gravity?

Pretty much by definition, if the Earth was heading towards Jupiter, the greatest relevant source of gravity would be Jupiter.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Pretty much by definition, if the Earth was heading towards Jupiter, the greatest relevant source of gravity would be Jupiter.

This may be a valid point.

 

[Bootstoots]

Is a bang more of a bloop or more of a kerplunk? Based on collisions of other things with dense gas, like for instance the two giant meteors that have made it clear that outer space does not like Siberia (Tunguska 1908, Chelyabinsk 2013), or the collision of Shoemaker-Levy 9 with Jupiter, we can be confident that it would go bang, somewhere in the dense supercritical fluid below the gaseous atmosphere. But I can't decide whether a bang is more blooplike or more kerplunklike.

 

[Bootstoots]

Your sources for all this? Reputable ones, please, not tabloid ones.

And your poll-composition skills still need improvement. Lots of improvement.

There aren't any credible ones, and CavLancer doesn't care. This is mostly a joke thread - the credibility of Earth crashing into Jupiter isn't really the point.

But it's probably worth saying that planetary orbits are actually impossible to predict more than a few hundred million years (IIRC) in advance, because the n-body problem (n>2) isn't possible to solve exactly and chaos dominates after about that amount of time. So it's not a thing that totally couldn't happen, although it's extremely unlikely and nobody credible (to my knowledge) actually thinks this.

This reminds me of a joke. Why shouldn't a physicist be invited to an orgy?

Spoiler :

They can't solve the three-body problem!

 

[Lexicus]

There aren't any credible ones, and CavLancer doesn't care. This is mostly a joke thread - the credibility of Earth crashing into Jupiter isn't really the point.

He's setting it up to pivot from "global warming isn't happening" to "global warming doesn't matter"

 

[trader/warrior]

Need to know more about the hit, would this be a direct orbital velocity hit straight on jupiter, or a more gentle capture where the earth loses most of its relative velocity near jupiter and just gently falls into it, or maybe more like a highly eccentric unstable slingshot orbit where the earth hits at an angle at high speeds and gets ripped up on entry? 1. Ka-boom 2. Bloop(violently) 3. KrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrPLUNK.

If the Earth could somehow fall into Jupiter and stay intact, would it float at some point in there? High up or deep down?

 

[CavLancer]

Lex is on to me! :agast:

 

[CavLancer]

Need to know more about the hit, would this be a direct orbital velocity hit straight on jupiter, a more gentle capture where the earth loses most of its relative velocity near jupiter and just gently falls into it, or maybe more of a highly eccentric unstable slingshot orbit where the earth hits at an angle at high speeds and gets ripped up on entry? 1. Ka-boom 2. Bloop(violently) 3. KrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrPLUNK.

If the Earth could somehow fall into Jupiter and stay intact, would it float at some point in there? High up or deep down?

Yes!

 

[Bootstoots]

He's setting it up to pivot from "global warming isn't happening" to "global warming doesn't matter"

I don't know about that. His position isn't that it isn't happening, it's that humans do emit CO2 and this does cause some global warming, but that solar cycles are somehow much more influential than we know them to be, and that an ice age would normally be imminent but our emissions are making us safer from that. Then, when solar cycle X goes into a quiet phase, the temperature will drop and we'll be glad for our CO2. It's a variation on "global warming is a good thing".

Need to know more about the hit, would this be a direct orbital velocity hit straight on jupiter, or a more gentle capture where the earth loses most of its relative velocity near jupiter and just gently falls into it, or maybe more like a highly eccentric unstable slingshot orbit where the earth hits at an angle at high speeds and gets ripped up on entry? 1. Ka-boom 2. Bloop(violently) 3. KrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrPLUNK.

If the Earth could somehow fall into Jupiter and stay intact, would it float at some point in there? High up or deep down?

It would have to be pretty deep. Earth is the densest planet at 5.51 g/cm^3, and we would fall until we reached that density within Jupiter. I don't know how the weird phases of matter within Jupiter's depths work, but Jupiter's average density is only 1.33 g/cm^3, so the point where you get to a density of 5.51 g/cm^3 has to be really, really deep, probably closer to the center than to the outer layers. Then whether Earth keeps existing would depend on how Earth matter behaves under those conditions. It might just fuse with Jupiter's core.

 

[CavLancer]

Close, but I think CO2 won't save us, we're screwed. It will get cold. I think that cold will be evidenced before the end of next spring. If it doesn't, then I'm wrong.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

If the Earth could somehow fall into Jupiter and stay intact, would it float at some point in there? High up or deep down?

Wow. I was looking into this and discovered something really interesting...and the answer to the poll question is actually BOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!

Apparently if the Earth fell into Jupiter, intact or not, it would not float and would chunk all the way down and join the existing core material. Adding an Earth mass to the dense core material would hypothetically increase the gravity field sufficiently to start a contraction in size, increasing overall density, and triggering the long delayed ignition into a star.