Blue States : Red States

Moss

CFC Scribe
Retired Moderator
Joined
May 1, 2002
Messages
6,584
Location
Minnesota
Pretty good :)

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all of the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell
research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay
their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian
Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single
moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're
apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they
don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming
home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up,
but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of
the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's
quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent
of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and
MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones
University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11
and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher
morals then we lefties.

Sincerely,

Author Unknown in New California.
 
Eh, I wish everyone would stop this blue state - red state crap. There's not an entirly different culture just because 5% or so more people voted for Bush than Kerry, or vice versa.
 
Read my sig.
 
fine you can take your 90% of the pinnaple, we'll keep 90% of the wheat :p

I'm from a blue state anyway (curse you geogrpahical RNG)
 
That's pretty funny, and true.
 
The Omega said:
I think they're forgetting how we've got all of the oil.... :p
And the fact that we have about 99.99999999% of the Military,Soooo we can easily take over blue land and have all the pineapples. :lol:
:ar15: :help:
p.s. look at the who voted map and you will find almost every county voted red even in the suposed blue states. :crazyeye:
 
90% of the High Tech Industry? Sorry to break it to the Blue States, but Houston, TX alone controls 21% of America's High Tech Industry.

Counting up Houston, Austin, St. Louis, Memphis, and Indianopolis.. the red States will control americans oil, energy (guess what california? black out..), biomedical research, aerunatics research, systhenic rubber and plastic production, banking and finance, genetic research, and communication systems.
 
Strider said:
90% of the High Tech Industry? Sorry to break it to the Blue States, but Houston, TX alone controls 21% of America's High Tech Industry.

Counting up Houston, Austin, St. Louis, Memphis, and Indianopolis.. the red States will control americans oil, energy (guess what california? black out..), biomedical research, aerunatics research, systhenic rubber and plastic production, banking and finance, genetic research, and communication systems.
How banking and finance when its located almost all in New York City.


Anyway when it comes to military the largest amount of our troops come from the Upper Midwest which all voted Democrat except Indiana and Ohio. Numbers wise the big ones in the South are Texas and Georgia.
 
blindside said:
How banking and finance when its located almost all in New York City.

New York lost that title about 2-3 years ago. While it still holds a large number of corporate headquarters, the large majority of financing institutions have moved other jobs out of New York.
 
Savage Discipil said:
And the fact that we have about 99.99999999% of the Military,Soooo we can easily take over blue land and have all the pineapples. :lol:
:ar15: :help:
p.s. look at the who voted map and you will find almost every county voted red even in the suposed blue states. :crazyeye:


However, there were three all-red states (IIRC Nebraska, Oklahoma and Utah) and three all-blue states (IIRC Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Hawai'i).
 
I think the colors are messed up anyway, since red is associated with socialism and communism, to which the Democrat party is far closer.
 
DBear said:
I think the colors are messed up anyway, since red is associated with socialism and communism, to which the Democrat party is far closer.
In 2000, they switched the colors. Red used to be Democrat, and blue Republican. And I agree, that way fits and looks better.
 
Savage Discipil said:
p.s. look at the who voted map and you will find almost every county voted red even in the suposed blue states. :crazyeye:

To make such a map accurate, two conditions would apply:

1: Rather than coloring each county red or blue, use various shades of purple.
A county which was 74% blue, 26% red would be a sort of indigo; a county which was 31% blue, 69% red would be somewhat pinkish; a county which was 50% blue, 50% red would be purple.
2: Distort the map so that the area of each county is proportional to its population.

example
 
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