Board game to decide presidency?

I put the question mark at the end to be clickbaity!

Or did I?

If the U.S. Presidential election had to be decided by board game, what game would you choose for 2020?

Rules

Rule the First: no chess!
Rule the Second: no arguing with the premise!
Rule the Third: no arguing with the preceding rules!

____________________

I pick Scrabble. As far as nail-biters go, this would be it.

Runners-up:

Pop-‘o’-Matic Trouble: assured victory for Trump, because he won despite all his trouble.

Sorry!: assured victory for Justin Trudeau despite not being American.

Clue: election goes to House as neither candidate may have one.

Settlers of Catan: assured victory for Falkland Islanders what with the sheep and everything.

Ticket to Ride: assured victory for amadeus. I strongly advise against picking Ticket to Ride in this particular scenario, but recommend it in nearly all other cases.

 

Twilight Imperium

 

This could be a more interesting matchup than intended! Since so much of the game relies on skullduggery, either one could have the edge.

“Pick random event card.”

Dean scream: lose nomination

Rough!

I thought this was that Cold War game, but it’s not. It looks pretty involved. Maybe both would be disqualified and it’d be a Pence-Harris showdown. Advantage: Harris. She looks like she’s played some of these kinds of games before.

Pence would have the edge on something more conventional, like the Game of Life.

 

Risk.

 

Kremlin, obviously.

 

This is a good choice!

I’m not familiar with this game but I’m going to say Biden shoe-in. First, he’s older. Second, longer time spent in the Politburo. Third, whiter hair.

 

The last leg on channel 4 uk explained it as monopoly.

 

With the way the polls are looking I think Joe’s got hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place and the Donald is mortgaging Baltic Ave.

 

So I can't argue with the 1st and 2nd rules, but can argue with the 3rd? But in so doing I can then argue with the 1st and 2nd...

 

Correct.

Incorrect.

 

My problem with the analogy was that they said the big states are the most valuable and most important to win, which is true, but in monopoly they are overpriced, the best to get are those after jail.

 

You mean it's going to be horribly long-winded and marred by an awful lot of arguing about the game rules? Sounds about right.

 

@Kyriakos, that’s a Biden win. He’s not a big guy, but he’s squirrelly—that’s the key to being a hungry hippo. Trump would need something like Rock-‘em-Sock-‘em Robots to cover the gap.

If I start a political party, I wouldn’t use a hippo for an animal symbol. I’d be all manatee.

Apart from mothers with their young, or males following a receptive female, manatees are generally solitary animals. Manatees spend approximately 50% of the day sleeping submerged, surfacing for air regularly at intervals of less than 20 minutes. The remainder of the time is mostly spent grazing in shallow waters at depths of 1–2 metres (3.3–6.6 ft).
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Aside from the water part, I’m not far off of this.

 

I thought he was the best at making deals?

 

May be bad form to quote oneself, and especially just to say I told you so, but:

I told you so.

 

Monopoly, with the winner being whoever doesn't storm off when they are losing.