Discussion in 'Civ3 - PBEM Games' started by kingstuart, Oct 31, 2004.
Ooooo, this looks like a good show. Grabs popcorn.
Well, reports from the Eastern border look grim. A bunch of fairy bowmen dressed in red have decided to attack a Hittite town or two and do the happy Babylonian jig. In response the Hittites complete the Mausoleum of Mausollos in Hattusas. And there was much rejoicing. And due to similar "wonder"ful accomplishments by the Egyptians in the same year, Kanesh decides to downsize their garden project into a courthouse. Joy.
On the battlefront a mostly wimpy response to start...
Archer in desert attacks bowman on Babylonian incense and dies. Reports are he forgot to pack his powerbars and water.
A three man chariot, breaking out of Dodge, kills a bowman on the north road . The spear in Malatya retreats and the Hittite town of Malatya, so distraught by the ugly head dresses worn by the Babs and the abandonment of their own troops decide to up and leave, abandoning a pile of rubble they'll use to rebuild in a 100 years or so.
1 lost archer
1 scum sucking bowman
So like, there I was like one turn away from getting the Hanging Gardens but the Egyptians like totally stole it away from me, but I said that's cool, no problemo, I've got my consolation Mausoleum all ready to go which I didn't really want 'cause it's like all filled with dead people and stuff, but I said chill dude, Mausoleums give you happiness which doesn't make sense 'cause they're like so dark and gloomy but I'll take it anyway, then I open up the game and see that the Hittites like stole that one away too so I have to get like this marketplace and lose like a thousand shields which is like a total bummer.
Sigh... story of my life.
i feel your pain, my brother...
The war news is... there is no news. Well, unless the nice little stack of bowmen approaching the villa of Arpad is news... Think they are approaching town to try out the fine dining choices?
Meanwhile, our lazy construction crews, unable to complete the garden properly are being fitted with pointy sticks. They think they are attending a bar-b-q.
On to Pharoah PB
Well... gardening is tough to do well. We eventually gave up and made a hanging garden out of nylon leaves and bendy straws but our people didn't buy it. They're very tough to please. Still, we didn't make kebabs out of our gardeners. That's just not nice!
A couple bowmen scoundrels were found sniffing in our stables. A couple horsies got angry, and now the 2 bowmen (including one so-called "elite"-ist) are seeking refuge in the afterlife. Mr. Ed scoffed at his slightly dinged health bar, "Tis just a scratch!"
No Hittite losses
2 less Babylonian bowmen
Meanwhile, the country folk in Adana are looking warily out at the mass of Babylonian red coming up the far side of the river. They can only hope reinforcements will arrive in time.
Onto to sailing punkbass, happily riding the open seas...
Mmm... gripping stories there in the Hittite Herald. I'm sensing a little anti-Babylonian media bias there though. Whatever happened to freedom of the press? I'll go to the internet to get the real scoop!
Our bowman approach the city of Adana. We smell fear.
The bowmen smell fear? Maybe they should have used deoderant. Oh wait, that may be Bob, the fearless worker (and former garden builder), smartly armed with spade in hand, standing in some cow poo-poo.
played and sent
In a strange bit of MP diplomacy, both the Babs and Hittites were greated with peace proposals from the trade advisor. Fortunately for both sides, all was in error and the trade advisor has been shot. The Hittites and Babs shall continue performing the border chicken dance for all rooting us on.
In other news, Bob the worker has promised King Spike-it that no one will get by his mighty spade. He even made sure Spike-it could not move him into Adana for safe harbor. We all wish the best for mighty Bob. Should some one tell him that rock beats scissor?
On to Punkbass 2 triple zero
The wise Egyptian prophets foresee the Middle East dissolving into chaos and, being lovers of great art, have taken it upon themselves to ensure no massive, beautiful sculptures should be destroyed in the battle.
1 WC killed NE of Tyre.
1 Tyrian Guard killed in Tyre.
1 Warrior killed in Tyre.
1 Curragh sunk in Tyre.
2 Workers captured Sw of Tyre.
I've been waiting 4 days for a save file. I see the world will be a different place upon commencement of play.
Advancing troops on Adana cross the Tigres and capture a worker (Bob) tending to a cow. He is slaughtered and fed to our dogs. What is left is rendered as fat for our cooking fires.
Bowmen all along the front are now on the advance. The Hittites are brave warriors. A spearman backed by a horsemen defended the hill by Adana against a lone bowman who martyred himself. Another bowman has come out into the open from Phoenicia to harass the Hittite rear guard. Soon our forces will have massed in sufficient quantities to repel the evil doers !
Panic siezes Hatti for a few moments as the Hittites learn of the need to be repelled by the Babylonians for so called evil-doing. Men and women scrambled through the streets trying to avoid being involved in any advance that needed to be repelled. Thankfully government officials restored order after explaining that there is no where to pull back from, that in fact all citizens were already in Hatti lands and their only recourses are to either 1) stand up and defend against the obviously confused Babylonian forces or 2) jump into the seas and try to swim to Egypt. Considering King Spike-it failed to build swimming schools in any of the Hatti cities, the citizens stopped running about, shrugged their shoulders and took up arms to defend the land that is rightfully theirs. The following day, subscriptions to the Babylonian Babble in Hatti plummetted to their all time low due to concerns about biased and sensational reporting.
Chaos in the middle east? Embrace the chaos I say!
all quiet in my little corner of the world
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