AI nations are our enemy and must be destroyed. If anything in the menu is ever red, you should wipe them off the map. After a few games of doing that, they'll learn.
But seriously, yeah, I don't like the revamped diplomacy menu. If it's going to restrict me from even asking for stuff, I should be able to restrict what they ask for, too. As they use my denials as a pretext for not liking me EVEN MORE, that just makes all the options "redder".
A mod should be able to fix this relatively easily, by having the AI never ask you for tech unless you are at least "Friendly" or something, where they are willing to negotiate with their own techs.
On a related note, I don't like just how polarizing the AI tends to be. Even leaders that are supposed to be peaceful or benign constantly ask me to break trade agreements and/or declare war on other nations, even when I don't share a border with either one. Does the AI ask each other to do this? It should. Maybe they just pester me more as the highest scoring nation in the game. But it seems like they pester me just as much when I'm not at the top of the list.
The general problem that covers both of these: If the diplomatic system is not fully symmetrical, it's broken.