(based on the 1000 Clues You've Been Playing Too Much Civ) 1. You wake up in the middle of the night and go outside to check if Hell has spread to your backyard. 2. Every time there's a cold spell, you panic and run off in search of your magic sword. 3. You've built a Shrine of Sirona in your living room, which you use every time you skin your knee. 4. The last time a spider got into your house, you stuck it in a pen and waited for the payoff. 5. You oppose the war in Iraq on the grounds that it might raise the Armaggedon Count. 6. You've received dreams from the Octopus Overlords. 7. You call your minister/priest/rabbi "the local Luonnatar", and both respect his monotheism and find it laughably impractical. 8. You refer to your neighbor's kids as "a new tribe slinking across creation, still in that twilight between birth and the recruitment of hell." 9. You never lie, cheat, or swindle, on the grounds that "those features won't be implemented till Shadow." 10. You've connected the clues in the Civilopedia and determined that Eurabates the Gold Dragon is Cardith Lorda. And although you don't have any proof, you also suspect Abashi the Black Dragon is Dick Cheney. I dare you to try and do another nine hundred ninety.