When I mass my troops near somebody's border in a prelude to war, the target civ will realize that an confront you about the troops. There are two responses, both of which kind of sucks. The first one declares war immediately, but it happen during their turn, so they can have the first attack and damage your troops. The second choice is to declare that you're not attacking, but if you attack anyway (as you plan to), you will get some kind of diplomatic penalty. What's your strategy for this? Is it possible to avoid the AI prompting this question? How bad is the diplomatic penalty for attacking after promising not to do so? Also, is there a way to similarly confront the AI when you see them massing near your border?