1. We have added the ability to collapse/expand forum categories and widgets on forum home.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Photobucket has changed its policy concerning hotlinking images and now requires an account with a $399.00 annual fee to allow hotlink. More information is available at: this link.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. All Civ avatars are brought back and available for selection in the Avatar Gallery! There are 945 avatars total.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. To make the site more secure, we have installed SSL certificates and enabled HTTPS for both the main site and forums.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Civ6 is released! Order now! (Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon CA | Amazon DE | Amazon FR)
    Dismiss Notice
  6. Dismiss Notice
  7. Forum account upgrades are available for ad-free browsing.
    Dismiss Notice

Cow governments.

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by farting bob, Jul 20, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. farting bob

    farting bob ThEy MaDe Me Do iT.

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2002
    Messages:
    3,169
    Location:
    UK (sussex)
    FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

    PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

    FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

    DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

    SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

    MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

    PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

    AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

    BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows..

    ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

    CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.

    ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

    FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

    TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

    COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

    LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."
     
  2. Japanrocks12

    Japanrocks12 tired of being a man

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2003
    Messages:
    5,323
    Location:
    earth
    This was posted before, many times I think.
     
  3. Knight-Dragon

    Knight-Dragon Unhidden Dragon Retired Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2001
    Messages:
    19,958
    Location:
    Singapore
    Frequent item; closed to head off the spam. ;)
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page