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Dating Advice 2: Electric Boogaloo

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Caesar of Bread

Ronald Reagan's #1 Hater
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Tonight, I just blew it.

At my sister's final performance... I talked to her!

I asked the girl if I would be her boyfriend, and she said... not now (but we can be friends)

Also, at the cast party, I told this to one of the people in my D&D party. She has a crush on the girl's best friend, and I am planning to help her get together with the best friend (who is dating a boy right now) Now what?
 
well, she told you no. so now you accept her answer and move on.
I worked so hard, for at least 3 months. And now this? Just to hear her say "not now"? I feel ashamed of myself :cry::cry:
 
I worked so hard, for at least 3 months. And now this? Just to hear her say "not now"? I feel ashamed of myself :cry::cry:

welcome to dating, bud.

word of advice, don’t put all your eggs in one basket for so long. ask early, get your answer early, and it won’t feel as bad if she says no.
 
I should have told her that I have 50 million power in Rise of Kingdoms. Then I would have.
 
Dude, you didn't blow it. You went for it. She said no, that sucks. But while your young feelings are strong, there are other girls out there. And if you stay brave, you will win and it will kick ass.
 
Now what?
Well you can become a monk.
I worked so hard, for at least 3 months. And now this? Just to hear her say "not now"? I feel ashamed of myself :cry::cry:
Shouldn't be ashamed to have tried. And not now is better than 'f off'.

I remember around four years ago I always used to see this girl @ the gym who'd give me the sweetest smile. So one day after maybe I month I figured I'd ask her out. So I did and she said no. I don't remember how she phrased it but the cool thing is in terms of how she acted towards me it was exactly the same, she was still equally friendly, she didn't act awkward and neither did I and it was still cool to see her each day.

So anyway the moral is if neither person makes it awkward it's not awkward and maybe 'not now' just means you caught her off guard and she needs time to think about it or maybe she's not feeling you like that and didn't want to hurt your feelings, either way there's plenty of fish.

Rejection is programmed into us to feel lousy but it helps to keep it in perspective.
 
Dude, you didn't blow it. You went for it. She said no, that sucks. But while your young feelings are strong, there are other girls out there. And if you stay brave, you will win and it will kick ass.
I don't think those really fade. If anything, they go the opposite.
 
Were I giving advice to myself in my early teens, it would be this:

1. The past is over. Accept facts as they are.

2. Frame all future actions strategically. The broader picture is more important than its constituent parts.

3. Do not show weakness. You will not be weak because you have accepted facts.

4. Learn from failure. Failure is a better, more honest teacher than success.

5. Your current environment is only temporary. The skill you gain, learning how to learn, is a valuable asset applicable anywhere.
 
Id like dating advice PM if interested in helping
 
I wasn't really going to post in this thread, but I get the impression that you are very young and therefore inexperienced when it comes to dating and romance in generel. So, allow me to offer you some perspective from an old hag;

Actually, you didn't really 'blow it', because there was no 'it' to begin with. You have a crush on this girl from distance; you don't love her. Now you know she has no romantic interest in you and you can move on. It hurts now, but It'll pass, okay?

Also, it is irrelevant how much of your time you invested in pursuing something with her or anyone else. You call it 'work', which implies that you feel somewhat entitled to a reward for doing that 'work.' That mindset is potentially very toxic and you need to change it, okay? Remember that she is a person in her own right with her own life, thoughts, plans, desires, interests - just like you are.

I'll leave you with this bit of insight that might not mean anything to you now, but perhaps can guide you later in life; you know that you feel true love for another person, when their happiness supersedes your own.
 
Props to our little breadman. He went for it. Maybe not the best timing imo, but you have much larger cajones than me at that age. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders so I’ll just say that most relationships at that age and for several years are usually fleeting. Don’t let it get to you. Main thing at your age is having fun and learning - about everything.

(edit: ha...interestingly...the Merriam-Webster word of the day today is "besotted"....which probably described my entire teen life)
 
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As everyone's said, you didn't blow it. You did everything that lies in your power to do: you asked her. Now it's on you to respect her answer. Regarding your three months of work. Don't work for any one specific person. Just work to make yourself an interesting person generally (as it's clear to all of us that you do, through your serious interest in history, literature, sports, drama, etc.). At some point that will make you interesting to someone you are interested in. Everyone here has taken you under their wing, Caesar, because most of us are considerably older. As a result of that life experience, we know that you are likely to have, in your life from age thirteen onward, many romantic interests. One of them will go more your way than this one has. That's small consolation right now, I know. We all know. But you will come to discover that it is true.

little breadman
Little Caesar was right there!
 
how am I supposed to help my friend in the D&D party (who wants to be with the track girls best friend - my friend is lesbian and 1 year younger)?

Also thanks Gori. She said for now we can be friends (Highlight the for now part)
Since you were talking about categories in QB, I would like to say that:
A) The best friend's boyfriend is in my QB team
B) I was thinking of her as #2 for the girlfriend list
C) My subject mains are history, literature, science, geography, and the arts before 2000
 
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Id like dating advice PM if interested in helping

What is the nature of the question? Keeping in mind that most of the advice anyone can give you will be the same generalized info: if you like them and think they like you and you know they’re looking for a relationship (or hookup or whatever): ask and ask early. Be respectful. Trying to divine grand intentions from the subtleties of any individual behavior is self-sabotaging; use your words, ask questions. Talk to them, don’t admire from a distance like a weirdo.
 
It's best to view this as a learning experience, particularly in how to deal with rejection. You can either learn from it, accept it, & just resolve to try again with the next girl you like, or shrink from it, & be afraid to ask the next girl out due to fear. The former is the much better lesson to learn. She wasn't The One. Maybe the next girl will be.
 
Can you explain why you view this as "work" and how it could possibly "go to waste"?
All my planning, for months and months, and yet she doesn't like me. Why would God do such a thing to me?
 
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