If you are annoyed that this thread exists, congratulations, you may thank the following two regulars. (No, really, i expect this to drop to page two in the better part of a day. But i'll lift it whenever you are absurdly late to something. So better don't pass that ERA. ) Yay. However... So we'll have to keep things light and fluffy. So don't expect me to explain everything. You will have to do your own math on some of the following. If you find that bothersome, you finding that is on you not me. Also, while a bit of mischief may be fun... ...i obviously have to accept some handicap here. You know, because otherwise this would all be rather unfair wouldn't it? [disclaimer: violence and whatnot] Spoiler : Why did i accept this handicap? This would be a perfectly good opportunity for an incredibly dark pun about the European equivalent to Hendrix' anthem. So there'll be none of that, and there'll not be the newest Swedish nonsense, and you'll remain undisturbed by my avatar, and we'll not talk about them Justified Means or the granting of the Great Privilege or any such shenanigans. Additionally, i find these Anglospherian "Trailblazer Women" compilations tiresome in that the accomplishments are usually things that straight men did before or things that exclusively benefited women (or some other oppressed category). I think i want to do a little bit better than that. So what's the rules? - Stuff that would be cool even for a straight male oppressor person - Limited geography, we'll pick one of those pathetic Euro countries at random - oh gosh darn, that one, what weird luck. Fine, i accept. Reluctantly. So let's see what kind of buzzfeedian list i can whip up between two cups of coffee: Spoiler : 1. Once upon a time the king talked to a girl This was remarkable. When the King was a young adult and still a prince certain reasons lead to his father having him imprisoned. Said father would also capture his best friend, whom his henchmen would walk up to the keep's walls beneath the prince's jail cell's window. They'd pronounce his death sentence. Said friend would proclaim that he'd die a hundred times more for his beloved prince. And then they killed him, for the prince to see. Needless to say: The King virtually never talked to women. Lore has it, he however briefly talked to the teenage girl from some third rate noble family. The king would spend most of his life in corporal's uniforms and made a terrible myth that would have to die a grim death some 180 years later. The teenage girl would marry, renounce her faith, learn a foreign language. She would "lean in" quite a bit, to say the least. And at age 33 she'd become arguably the most powerful human who had ever walked the face of the earth. Her people make a movie or a TV series about her roughly every year while Anglopherians continue to tell lies about her. The young king's people defied his wishes for more than a century. They built him mausoleums. Today he is finally burried next to his summer residence in a grave fit for a Quaker (well, except for the cognomen). People put potatoes on it. Priceless quote from a rando youtube video: So the dude wants to get revenge. On his dad. Which he can't. Cause he's dead. So he does the next best thing, which is to get revenge on his wife's family...you know, just because. 2. On these American lists... ...we usually run into one Ms. Blackwell. Well, how does "97 years earlier" sound to you? 'Lady got a special dispensation from that king. You know, because he had such cheritable thoughts on the subject of women. England, Canada... look, just remain seated and think about yourself; like if you can't take the Americans in the first place you're probably not doing it right. 3. "Guys... we're on her set." - Michael Moore Unfun diagonally related matter: There's that bigger part of space that has never heard of humans. And then there's that infinitesimally smaller part of space that is polluted by human radio signals. Most of humankind's early radio transmissions are too weak though. It really is one signal, the live tv coverage of a sporting event, that puts humans on the map, galactically speaking. Nice sphere, 164 lightyears in diameter. Pushing 165. 4. Monuments Imagine i knew nothing about the National Mall and you had to show it to me, per pedes, and explain it to me. And i would ask very dumb questions owed to my horizon: "Why so many slaveholders?" "What's with the giant phallus?" "You mean this isn't actually for the dead Vietnamese? Oh, that's sad." Behold this woman. You may think of her as the Rachel Dolezal of her country. I suppose the second set of comments you have to imagine is this: "Did this lady just wave a tooth in my face? She got it where?! What the actual frack?! Can we please build this thing already and shut her up?! Also can somebody run after her and wrestle that tooth from her? So we can - i don't know - bury it... or something? You know, whatever the hell would possibly so much as border on the appropriate!" 5. When a "not" joke was not a joke. (Grammar, foreign language, never mind). Let me quickly pilfer what i wrote in that other thread: Americans have that Revere dude. Now imagine if your nation's greatest hands-on-hero was a woman, age 21. "If you strike me down i shall become more pow..."No wait, that's the wrong quote. Wrong franchise even. "Laws change. Conscience is eternal."She liked DS9, apparently. (Obviously this is not the exact correct quote, i have her and Odo compromise on a line; as i implied it loses in translation anyway.)6. Consequences How usual is it for Federal judges to get murdered? When was the last time the CEO of, say, Bank of America got killed? When was the last time the chairman of the Chamber of Commerce got assassinated? When was the last time the Attorney General of the United States got assassinated? When was the last time the President had to address the nation on television to asure everyone that this whole business with the Republic was in fact still on and in no threat of cancelation? When was the last time one of your embassies got seized and the staff captu... wait... never mind. Where do things ever begin? Oh, i suppose the first shots fired will do: [Disclaimer: mild swearing, violence, suspect editing] Spoiler : Admittedly quite derpy. It may console you that things escalated to roughly The Matrix fairly quickly. Tangent: @Owen Glyndwr has surely informed you as to how women in ancient Rome were named or not named. I'm pondering... if your stupid dude calls you "cat" and your parents had the brilliant idea to call you "Gudrun" (yes, that means just what it sounds like) and after your death people iconise you as some sort of milf... ...yeah, well, i suppose at least you're not Domitia #5. 7. Fairy tale Two questions: 1. Does a scale end at "10", "11" or "more than Christmas"? 2. Where do 'Muricans go when they don't go to Disney Land? Spoiler : 8. Iconic refilling inclusive Ok, so there were these contraptions built by various dudes. People would ride them. Occasionally. Usually on a market place or something. "People" meaning manly-man beefy adventurer dudes. Usually they'd promptly veer into the nearest ditch, wall or group of onlookers. Unless the contraption exploded before they could do so. The record distance for riding such a contraption was a couple hundred yards. In short: It was a side show. And then one particularly uppity woman expanded that record. To about 60 miles. And then there were cars. You've heard about cars, haven't you? 9. Manly Sports Ok, fast forward a century. Suppose you want to slight that other country; and they feel the same way about you. Outright warfare isn't really an option. So you go about knocking the snot out of the rest of the world in a sport in which the other country is generally not terribly relevant and see who can do it harder. Because that totally makes sense, right? And for that you take two men doing very manly sports. And eventually they meet. And they fight and its all Rocky V because we're time travelling and there is no Rocky V yet, right? Or... you do sooo not that and instead have two women do girly sports and the loser gets to be an even bigger milf than that dead lady and spend the rest of her life laughing her iconic hearthy laugh on one a-list celeb TV show after another, and the winner gets to leave the country, because she can't possibly live there anymore, chill at some American beach and be ignored by American liberals who are inconvenienced by their own racism, which presumably is exactly what she wants. Wait, what? I have to check the manual... i'm not sure if it's supposed to work that way. I could go off on a whole other tangent on how this place has, like, issues. Like, there's a lot of that milf business going on. Not sure if good or bad. Weird in any event. 10. Worst Period Generation Period Ever Period Ok, this files under "what the filthy Continentals were up to while you were busy with that irrelevant war you learned way too much about in school". Actually that may be too broad a category if i phrase it like that. Anyway, imagine George III's court. Now imagine Queen Charlotte and all Ladies of the Court covered in gratuitous ammounts of heavy jewellery. Made from cut steel and cast iron. Repeat that theme. Switch to naive hipsters with their rosegold iPhones. Rosegold! Fake, but still: Rosegold! Historic illiteracy inspired rosegold! *triggered* *reboot*Cue: Mockingjay vs. Битва за Севастополь I think we've come full circle. Point being: It's not my fault your history is so straight and male. Good thing though i didn't draw upon the history of all the other monolithic silly small countires Tim finds so pityable, isn't it? Otherwise this could have really gotten out of hand... And i really restrained myself here not to breach into a whole other tangent about Commodore, Atari and Adam Conover as the Ugly American. PS: Here's the persons responsible for the "defense" of four countries which routinely don't get their elections hacked by Putin. I just randomly bumped into this and i think there's context. No?