Death/Tragedy of Close Friends (or any friends)

[Fifty]

Your dog never really cared about you. He kissed your butt because you fed him and gave him shelter. His brain was the size of a pea. He was only an imaginary friend. Get over it. Buy a pet rock, it will exibit an equal amount of genuine comradery.

If you're going to try for that "i'm so cold and logical and emotionless and only care about what is rationally true or false" act, at least make sure that you are actually making a rational comment!

 

[downtown]

I agree. Although, one thing that I feel incredibly guilty about is that I feel more intense and "depressed" sadness from my dog dying recently than I did when my mom died. I feel enormously guilty about that, but I really just think its because I emotionally insulated myself from my mom in her final years because if I didn't, the stuff I saw would have probably literally made me go crazy. Don't get me wrong, though, I was very sad when my mom died, but I didn't cry nearly as much as I did when my dog died, and didn't feel that super-sad, on-the-verge-of-crying sadness for my mom nearly as much as I have for my dog. I guess I also had issue with my mom because in 6th grade its hard to see how addiction of that level is a disease and not really a choice in any meaningful sense.

I think I know what you mean. Forgive me if I'm being a little presumptuous, but I think your experience with your mother, and mine with my dad, are at least somewhat similar. The last few years of my dad's life were very difficult, and I certainly built up an emotional wall, or else I would have gone totally crazy. I marvel, that despite all the terrible things that happened, I grew up to be pretty well adjusted.

So of the three bad things that happened withen 3 months of each other, (My dad's death, my mother's breast cancer, and me and my girlfriend breaking up), in some ways, I took the girlfriend part the hardest....prob. because I never for one second thought my mom wouldn't get better, and then my issues with my dad, which I'm still working out now, were so messed up.

 

[Bronx Warlord]

All I can say is the first loss is the hardest. Just like the first time you fall in love with a girl and it ends. It gets eazier over time, you learn to roll with it and move on.

 

[MajorBB]

I am sorry for what you are going through. I have not lost a close friend but last year I did loose 6 family members and 1 good friend within the course of 4 months. The first was my 15 year old cousin. His ATV flipped on him leaving him with a split liver, multiple fractures, and a head injury. He died within hours of the accident. One family member died of abuse, another of a heart attack, and one of old age. The other two my uncle and grandpa died within a week of eachother. I watched both of them slip away. My friend died of a horrible car accident. Nothing is harder than loosing someone you love or are close to. If, Heaven forbid, something does happen to your friend please do not keep it bottled inside you. I did this and had multiple panic attacks. Although I will never get over what happened to all of them in that short course of time, I do believe I will see them again. I do not know if you believe in God or not, and I am not trying to change your belief, but this has always calmed me.

 

[Japanrocks12]

some worse news just came in: he's now in the hospital again and had surgery done due to a collapsed lung (60% of the normal size)

 

[Tee Kay]

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Just remember though, remain hopeful no matter what happens.

 

[MajorBB]

I hope everything gets better for your friend. I am really sorry what you are going through.