Democrat Lobs Accusations of Bigfoot Love Against Opponent…

[BvBPL]

…As if that is something to be ashamed of. People around the world love large, hairy, naked men. So what if GOP candidate for Virginia’s Fifth Denver Riggleman is one of them? It seems astonishing that Leslie Cockburn, who is running on the so-called inclusive Democratic party, would attack a candidate for his interest in Bigfoot sex. Riggleman is a noted scholar on the subject of Bigfoot sex, having published a book on the matter. Is this what the Democrat party has become? Saying they are protective of the rights of sexual minorities while at the same time condemning the academics who seek to study mating behavior in other species? Liberals have long tried to pillory Republicans as opposed to science, but here we have anti-intellectual Democrat condemning a scientist performing important zoological work.

For this news to come out sparse weeks before the highly-anticipated animated film “Smallfoot”, starring the voice talents of Channing Tatum and James Corden, is set to premier. “Smallfoot” will take a different tact in Bigfoot scholarship, focusing the on the gentle creature’s inquisitive and social nature, rather than their mating habits. In fact, the animated film should dovetail nicely with Riggleman’s work. Educators may wish to capitalize upon the film to introduce students to Riggleman’s theses on Bigfoot testees.

Cockburn should focus her run on the issues and policies, not making silly snipes at her opponent. After all, Riggleman could easily turn this around by making fun of Cockburn's silly name. "Leslie"? That's a boy's name! How dumb is it for a girl to have it?!?

This is about as stupid as the time a Maine candidate for the state’s legislature was demonized for playing a rogue in World of Warcraft.

 

[Farm Boy]

I don't care who you are, that's funny.

Kind of predictable though. Men run more to the taboo when it comes to their sexual fantasies, this is trendline 2018 Puritan tabloid interaction.

Actually, given the fantasy bit... that sheds some interesting light on why people are so keen to envision daddy-daughter bonding time with our current political aristocracy... I guess she is pretty if you don't unmute the video.

 

[rah]

I don't know any of the specifics here, but yeah, I laughed also. One note. Having published a book is not proof of being a noted scholar. I'm not implying that he's not but I would need further proof to take it as a fact.

 

[Lexicus]

I don't know any of the specifics here, but yeah, I laughed also. One note. Having published a book is not proof of being a noted scholar. I'm not implying that he's not but I would need further proof to take it as a fact.

The only serious scholarship about Bigfoot is noting that there is still no actual evidence of its existence.

 

[rah]

I thought that also but since I'm not an noted scholar on that issue, I wasn't sure if I had missed more recent findings.
But if it's still the same, I would probably may fun of someone studying their sex habits also.

 

[Farm Boy]

It's sort of like D&D really. Or Tolkien. Just the sex fantasy part of it. 34 is vast.

But yes, I would anticipate the basic /DOG/ interaction around that to be men hiding their browser histories and women finding it effective kink leverage. I mean, that's the middle school popularity take on it. Takes charisma to own it and rock it.

 

[Synobun]

I feel like advocating for a Nazi is somewhat more egregious than being into Bigfoot porn.

 

[Farm Boy]

Egregious....or erogenous....

 

[rah]

I would not vote for either.

 

[Lexicus]

I thought that also but since I'm not an noted scholar on that issue, I wasn't sure if I had missed more recent findings.
But if it's still the same, I would probably may fun of someone studying their sex habits also.

You don't need to be a noted scholar on the issue. There is no actual evidence of Bigfoot's existence. Also his book is reportedly called "Mating Habits of Bigfoot And Why Women Want Him". Sounds like a real dense scientific survey, eh?

I feel like advocating for a Nazi is somewhat more egregious than being into Bigfoot porn.

A candidate believing in Bigfoot is a bigger problem for me than having a fetish for large hairy dudes or whatever.

 

[Synobun]

If you can believe climate change is a Chinese hoax, you can believe anything. I'd rather politicians believe in Bigfoot mating rituals than things that actively harm humanity.

 

[Lexicus]

If you can believe climate change is a Chinese hoax, you can believe anything. I'd rather politicians believe in Bigfoot mating rituals than things that actively harm humanity.

Believing in Bigfoot wouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker. But I think anyone who could believe in bigfoot would be unlikely to have too many other views I agreed with.

 

[Kyriakos]

Bigfoot is boring. If he believed in Chupacabra it might have been interesting.

 

[Lexicus]

Bigfoot is boring. If he believed in Chupacabra it might have been interesting.

If we're going with cryptids we should go full Crab People imo

 

[Yeekim]

1) Name "Cockburn" somehow fits very well into this.
2) I'm, like, 95% sure that a book called "Mating Habits of Bigfoot And Why Women Want Him" is more than slightly tongue-in-cheek... but my faith in people has been misplaced before.

 

[Traitorfish]

Cockburn should have attacked Riggleman for his pleb-level cryptozoology. It's not even a regional cryptid! What a scrub.

 

[Archon_Wing]

"Cockburn"

Ah, lashing out is kinda normal I guess.

 

[Ryika]

It's just a matter of time until the logs from his online roleplaying sessions are released.

*Riggleman rubs his my body against your fur* ...I noticed that your feet aren't the only thing that's 'big' about you.