You offer false options to choose from. There is no necessity a thing be thought heinous to be politically costly. Being ridiculous explains that sufficiently. There was no need for Joe Biden to declare his pronouns. That question was never in real doubt.
Interestingly, I last saw FDR make a pop culture appearance in a Reddit thread. R/Presidents. They're sorta knowledgable. Not atrocious. Despite the success of his New Deal programs, many judged him harshly. "He was racist, systemic racism present in the New Deal". It dawned on me that he is being evaluated by activists as though political figures are activists themselves. He's a politician. You judge figures and even ideas on comparable grounds. Activism first.
The problem is that the activism is always initially unpopular(or youre sorta a bad activist), and an election is basically a popularity contest. In the Biden/pronouns thing, it was ridiculed, not stridently opposed nor thought particularly heinous, by a public fatigued by increasingly bizarre moral busibodiness. He signaled to the activists he gets it. He, unfortunately, also signaled to a greater number, who are not activists, that he will entertain the absurd, something already irritating the public like a bad rash. There are many other comparable instances of this nature.
when that is a cultural expectation, which it has become amongst the modern left, politician analyzed as activist, the politics are gonna be unsatisfactory. The politician is always a horsehocky activist, always concerned with their popularity and often wavering(seen by Dems going right every 4 years) but, simultaneously, alienating the general public by entertaining every demand on every issue to an extent. It's lose/lose.