Do you see transgendered folks as female?

[Narz]

In the eyes of the law/society IMO if you really want to change your gender you should be allowed to do so. Some people really identify with the opposite gender of their birth & there could be some legitimate neurological reasons why they feel that way. Either way, who am I to judge.

My question is not about whether transgendered people should be allowed to feel accepted for who they feel they are/have equal rights/etc. Any decent person should agree that people should not be treated differently & shown basic human respect same as anyone else as long as their lifestyle choices don't hurt anyone else. This thread is not about that, its about whether you as an individual see a transgendered person (lets just say M to F since its much more common) as female? Personally I do not though I'm happy to refer to them in the third person as her/she if they prefer that but I don't actually see them that way myself.

I don't feel this is wrong (how can the categories in my head be wrong if it doesn't affect how I treat someone?), especially since I don't particularly care what gender anyone is unless I'm going to have sexual relations with them. I'm just wondering if other people see things the same or differently.

 

[bhavv]

Well I definitely do because I no longer fancy a man that becomes a woman. So he is now a she.

 

[El_Machinae]

I'm similar in that I have a hard time changing my subconscious response. But gosh darn, I still know what's the right way to act.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I'll see them as whatever they want to be. It certainly seems easier than looking at someone who looks female and saying "oh, wait, used to be a guy so override immediate evidence of senses just to be snarky."

 

[Zkribbler]

I've known two male->females. To me, they became females...although I do have trouble with the name changes.

 

[bhavv]

I don't think it would be too confusing if I were to change my name to Bhavina.

 

[Zkribbler]

When, for decades you've call a person "A" but now you're supposed to call them "Aette," it's harder than you'd think to make the change.

 

[Tee Kay]

I try to see them as their preferred gender. It's easier this way; less risk of accidentally hurting their feelings by using the wrong words, etc, if you say one thing but believe another.

 

[Leifmk]

Honest answer: I'm afraid it would, on some level, depend on how my 40-something-year-old brain (as influenced by growing up in the boondocks of Norway during the 1970s and 1980s) registered the aggregate of superficial gender markers presented upon first meeting the person. If a person appears "female enough" for my brain to mark her as such within the first few seconds, then that's how I'd think of her with no extra effort required. On the other hand if my brain had to spend a little bit of time recognizing a new person as probably being MTF trans, I'd be stuck with having to go through the "remember that this is a woman, use correct pronouns" process every time it came up (at least for a while).

Mind you, I also happen to come from a nerd-culture background where a lot of people weren't particularly fastidious about fashion choices and such (and many might as well be genderless for all that it mattered in the public sphere), so a person wouldn't exactly have to be all dolled up to be parsed as "basically female", for example.

What would happen if someone I'd known previously for a long time came out as trans... honestly don't know as it's never happened. I'd do my best to smooth over any internal confusion and use correct names & pronouns, mind you.

 

[Kyriakos]

I don't know how they feel. I would like to suppose that it does express them, and at any rate it is not my call what anyone else does.
However somatically they are still the sex their organs define them as. I don't suppose this is the issue there, though, given no one actually factors how other people think of him/her; we can merely factor our imagining of such an external reality, which is quite ethereal and vague in essence. Besides, if what one thinks of oneself is down to what they think others think of them then this already is a very dangerous state of mind.

 

[Antilogic]

I don't see all transgendered folks as female since some of them aren't transing in that direction.

Snark aside, the situation that Leifmk describes has recently happened in my group of friends, and I know another two through friends who are trans. When referring to things in the past, we tend to use the old gender identification, while in the here and now we use the new one (and yes, we asked her if that was appropriate/okay). We still effed it up a bit, but we try to keep it straight with how they prefer to be identified. (Pun intended.)

 

[Leifmk]

Really cannot be bothered to care about whatever genitalia a person I'm not having or planning to have sex with presumably has hidden away.

 

[Kyriakos]

Really cannot be bothered to care about whatever genitalia a person I'm not having or planning to have sex with presumably has hidden away.

Norway Yes.

Anyway, by that logic a person wearing a wig but is bald beneath it actually has a full head of hair. This is not about "care" or such. It is merely a point of identifying something as something, and carries no 'value judgement' part.

 

[Synobun]

This is complicated to answer. I am in full support of trans-rights and everything that comes along with that. At the same time, I would likely not go out of my way to pursue someone I know to be trans because of the history. In my eyes, they'll never be a true representation of the gender they want to be (which is not their fault but rather a failing of our current medical technology) and that knowledge will be a big obstacle.

I also realize, however, that if I were already in love with the person or otherwise had feelings for them before I found out that I could probably work on it and come to accept them entirely as what they are. It's not a great position and I'm completely accountable for it, but it is what it is.

There's also the slight obstacle that many people with severe mental illnesses often develop trans-tendencies during mental breaks. I find myself prejudiced against these people; is someone who is severely mentally ill transgender because of their illness or because they actually are? It's tough to take a proclamation of a gender switch at face value when there is that element to it. I want to provide unconditional support to someone who is being challenged by something so life changing, but I also don't want to give ammunition to someone who is only going through this change or suffering because of something else that is going on.

Still, that doesn't have much to do with the people who are actually transgender and what I see them as. I see them as people, first and foremost. They should possess the rights of any human being regardless of what they identify as. Their gender... if they make a dedicated effort towards making that change then I can accept them as what they're trying to be with some limitations (I likely won't find them sexually attractive regardless of how well done the transition was). There are people out there who are transgender but willingly keep bits and pieces of their original gender and I would find it difficult to consider them female (in the case of MtF), but I also wouldn't consider them male. I'm not really sure what I'd consider them. They're people, they deserve their rights, but their gender... I really don't know.

Human expression has become increasingly convoluted in the 21st century which I'll support in all reasonable ways (transgenders are cool, people who think they are a sentient toaster are not cool), but I'll readily admit that I prefer a more vanilla expression. I'm completely okay with only being involved with someone who was born a female and remained a female and having a core group of friends that are what they were born as, and sometimes I think I prefer it that way as well. It's an unfortunate prejudice but not one I feel overly guilty over given that I will always support their cause for representation, support, and free vocal expression of their lives. It's not for me, but that doesn't mean it can't be for them and other people.

Edit: It's also worth pointing out that my opinion on this is rather fluid. It was only a few years ago that I could not care less and didn't have an opinion at all besides acknowledgement that they exist. I'm hoping that this evolves as time goes by as I'd ideally like to be as welcoming and open-minded as I can be.

 

[PhroX]

I've a couple of friends who are male > female trans, and when I'm concoiusly thinking about them, I do so as female, but there are certianly times when I'm not really thinking about it I put them as male.

This is probably down to the fact I knew them as male for quite some time and thus it's ingrained in me, as I've met a few trans individuals who I've only known post-change and I have no trouble at all considering them as their gender.

I've no idea what I'd feel if I found someone I was attracted to was a transsexual. I'd like to think I wouldn't have any problems with it, but I can't say for sure.

 

[Borachio]

I'm not so sure I spend all that much time thinking about anyone in terms of their gender.

I divide (when I can be bothered) the world up into more broad categories than that.

Like: people I know and people I don't know; people wearing hats and bareheaded people; people who terrify me and people I'd like to tickle under the chin.

But shouldn't we see transgendered people as transgendered male/female rather than just male or female ? Isn't the process they've undergone a significant part of what, and who, they are that shouldn't just be ignored? "Oh, you're a woman/man! Let's forget all that transgendering nonsense that went on for decades. It was nothing."

(OP is sexist. Transgendered males do exist.)

 

[Evie]

Trangendered people, to me, are their gender of choice. May require extensive breaking down of old habits, and several verbal flub if I've known them as another gender a long time, but that is just mistakes on my part, which I apologize for.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Depends on what I see. If I know them, then I'll go by what I'm told.

 

[Tee Kay]

Human expression has become increasingly convoluted in the 21st century which I'll support in all reasonable ways (transgenders are cool, people who think they are a sentient toaster are not cool)

I think it's less that we've become increasingly convoluted and more that it's become more acceptable and so we hear about it more.

I think humans have just always been weird and wacky.

 

[lemonfreshness]

I have a few trans friends, it took a while but I've gotten used to the pronoun change. If anyone requests them, I will honor the request to the best of my ability. I fully view any transgender person as the gender they identify as, after the initial mental change-up.