Elderly woman squeezes intruder Dick

[Sharwood]

I swear to Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu and Charles Darwin, that's what the Yahoo homepage says.

Link.

Woman, 88, puts the squeeze on intruder

An 88-year-old woman living in Oregon grabbed and squeezed the crotch of a naked man who had broken into her home, causing enough pain to force the would-be burglar to flee.

The man, identified as Michael Gordon Dick, was later captured by police and charged with attempted burglary, harassment and private indecency, according to media reports on Wednesday.

The woman was in her bathrobe early on Tuesday morning when she encountered Dick in her home. The 46-year-old assailant forced her into her living room and shoved her face down on a chair, the Portland Tribune reported.

The women proceeded to reach behind her and grab Dick's crotch before "giving him a good squeeze", Deputy Paul McRedmond of the Multnomah County Sheriff's Office said.

Dick broke free and fled. He was picked up later by police, who recognised him from an arrest in May of masturbating in a vehicle near a school bus, the newspaper reported. The woman asked police to withhold her identity.

So many puns, so little time.

 

[Ansar]

She definitely had a good grip of what the solution was.

 

[Ecofarm]

This sounds like a cock-and-bull story to me.

Btw, I told you guys that is one of the best moves in a fight. The gonad grab... works everytime.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

The woman asked police to withhold her identity.

She's one to f*** and forget.

Btw, I told you guys that is one of the best moves in a fight. The gonad grab... works everytime.

It's the coward's way and you know it.

 

[Ecofarm]

It is not.

I don't bring a knife to a gun fight and I don't hand-fight to lose. I give a crap what anyone thinks, as long as my opponent is neutralized. (or neuterized, as the case may be)

Anyone who thinks that un-invited hand-fights are supposed to have some honor is the coward. Someone wanna mess with me, they get what's coming - they shouldn't don't cry about it like a little girl: "oh, that wasn't FAIR!!!".

I'll be sure to call them an ambulence and a waaaambulence. You can go lose fights out of some twisted sense of decency, not me. Look, I'm 6'1 180 and can do many pushups. I could stand toe-to-toe with anyone but I don't have to. I'm not obligated to. Tough crap.

It doesn't make me a coward, it makes me the winner. I don't pick fights, but I don't lose them either. I don't understand how you feel obligated to decency when someone forces a fight on you.

 

[aelf]

Dick broke free

Maybe she squeezed a little too hard.

 

[Zelig]

It is not.

I don't bring a knife to a gun fight and I don't hand-fight to lose. I give a crap what anyone thinks, as long as my opponent is neutralized. (or neuterized, as the case may be)

Anyone who thinks that un-invited hand-fights are supposed to have some honor is the coward. Someone wanna mess with me, they get what's coming - they shouldn't don't cry about it like a little girl: "oh, that wasn't FAIR!!!".

I'll be sure to call them an ambulence and a waaaambulence. You can go lose fights out of some twisted sense of decency, not me. Look, I'm 6'1 180 and can do many pushups. I could stand toe-to-toe with anyone but I don't have to. I'm not obligated to. Tough crap.

It doesn't make me a coward, it makes me the winner. I don't pick fights, but I don't lose them either. I don't understand how you feel obligated to decency when someone forces a fight on you.

Quoted for emphasis.

In a fight, the aim is to minimize injury to self. Fighting in some way you think is "fair" lessens the odds of that happening.

I'm in good shape, and regularly spar/wrestle, but in a real fight, I'm ending it as quickly as possible, which probably involves going for the eyes/groin.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Look, I'm 6'1 180 and can do many pushups. I could stand toe-to-toe with anyone.

So then just sock 'em in the mouth for crying out loud. Don't hit him in his Long John Silvers like some old lady getting her purse stolen.

 

[LucyDuke]

It is not.

I don't bring a knife to a gun fight and I don't hand-fight to lose. I give a crap what anyone thinks, as long as my opponent is neutralized. (or neuterized, as the case may be)

Anyone who thinks that un-invited hand-fights are supposed to have some honor is the coward. Someone wanna mess with me, they get what's coming - they shouldn't don't cry about it like a little girl: "oh, that wasn't FAIR!!!".

I'll be sure to call them an ambulence and a waaaambulence. You can go lose fights out of some twisted sense of decency, not me. Look, I'm 6'1 180 and can do many pushups. I could stand toe-to-toe with anyone but I don't have to. I'm not obligated to. Tough crap.

It doesn't make me a coward, it makes me the winner. I don't pick fights, but I don't lose them either. I don't understand how you feel obligated to decency when someone forces a fight on you.

Stop saying crap I agree with.

Also, calling an assaulted 88-year-old woman a coward for going for the sensitive bits... that's just lame.

 

[JollyRoger]

That crotchedy old lady should have appreciated a breaking and entering. Guess the guy shouldn't have told her to get a grip.

 

[CaptainF]

Oregon women probably just haven't ever been exposed to men...they are all misandrist lesbian amazons, weren't you aware?

 

[armathas]

Heh, that is just....awesome.

I have to agree with several posters before.

I am not one for violence myself. But I am more than capable of defending myself.
As far as I am concerned, if you are not the aggressor. Anything goes. Besides when I am standing over the idiot who attacked me, I am not going to feel the slightest bit of remorse for doing what I had to do.

Power to the Old Ladies!

 

[Sharwood]

I'm with Eco, Lucy, and Zelig on this. I'll go for the balls, eyes, even throat, to win a fight as quickly as possible. So much so that I instinctively get very nervous when I'm with a woman and she goes to certain of those areas, because my brain knows what I'd do to them.

And this woman is not a coward in the least. At least she had the balls to defend herself. Quit your moaning and groining.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Just so I'm crystal clear here, this woman's method of self-defense was, in my book, totally called for.

 

[Ansar]

It's the coward's way and you know it.

Ok, Bigfoot.

While you try to fight for your life the "manly way", I'll be safe.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Call me what you want but I'd rather be sent to the hospital than have to explain to my friends that I got away by kicking a guy in the nads.

 

[LucyDuke]

Just so I'm crystal clear here, this woman's method of self-defense was, in my book, totally called for.

Was somebody talking about something other than self-defense?

Call me what you want but I'd rather be sent to the hospital than have to explain to my friends that I got away by kicking a guy in the nads.

That's just weird.

 

[Ansar]

Call me what you want but I'd rather be sent to the hospital than have to explain to my friends that I got away by kicking a guy in the nads.

So you'd rather explain that you tried fighting a guy but didn't want to be thought of as a coward so you'd rather be beaten up than save yourself, even if it's "cowardly"?

 

[Sharwood]

Call me what you want but I'd rather be sent to the hospital than have to explain to my friends that I got away by kicking a guy in the nads.

Considering I once survived an attempted rape with my 'honour' intact by biting a man on the throat and gouging the other's eye out, I'm inclined to disaggree with you. If you're more concerned with your friends' opinions of you than your own well-being, you're a fool.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Was somebody talking about something other than self-defense?

I don't want people thinking I didn't approve of the woman's actions amidst this other thing I have going.

That's just weird.

I not uncomfortable with that.

So you'd rather explain that you tried fighting a guy but didn't want to be thought of as a coward so you'd rather be beaten up than save yourself, even if it's "cowardly"?

When you put it in that context, then yes. It is to me, quite literally, hitting below the belt. I think it's a dishonorable thing to do even in a situation where you aren't the aggressor. I would probably attempt to do any variety of other things, but not resort to that. I'd hit him with my fists, whatever objects were around, put some mace in his face, taze him, whatever, but not that, it's just what I believe.