Foreign Policy: Spanish Apolyton

[RegentMan]

Why are we thinking of talking with these guys? If we're going to eliminate them, let's get it done with no questions asked. We don't want a rump Spanish state at our backs for the next fifty turns. I'm sure they don't want to play one, either.

 

[2metraninja]

Problem I see with Sommers message is we tell that we will march to kill French first, while continue to capture their cities.

If we remove this line, I am OK with sending it.

 

[2metraninja]

Also, we must tell Spaniards French sold them out, offering us to split their homeland without fighting.

 

[2metraninja]

Anyone in charge of general diplomacy now when Cal is away? Or the Spanish diplomat going to comment on that?


I want we to send message already.

Same with message to Uciv.

 

[RegentMan]

Again, why must we tell the Spanish anything? Aren't we going to eliminate them in this campaign? Do we really want to march through and attack CivFr while keeping a hostile enemy right below our supply lines, building and building stronger? They're already weak and on the ropes- end it now! Then move on with CivFr.

 

[YossarianLives]

I don't think anyone is in charge of general diplomacy at the moment. Before the war, I had taken responsibility for composing a lot of the messages to the Spaniards, so I guess that makes me ambassador (at least, that's what the first post in the Spanish Diplo Log says).

@RegentMan, one reason was to see if anyone has been secretly communicating with the Spaniards, and to provide misdirection. Sommerswerd explained the reasoning behind his message like this:

Obviously SpAp will tell CivFr that we are coming to get them first, and CivFr will obviously tell RB this. Maybe this also gives SpAp some false hope, when they see our Army headed for CivFr, they will think we are going to attack CivFr, rather than take Nobamba and Chinook. Finally, this will let us know if CivFr tells RB rumors they hear about us.

Another reason I want to keep talking to them is that it has been lots of fun! Their answers are always good for a laugh and it shows that we don't have anything personal against them.

How about this to send:

Dear Spaniards,

We are confident that we can fight the French and Zulus at one time. The French sold you out and offered us a split of your homeland without doing any fighting, but we couldn't allow this. You are free to do what you want. We don't make no combat pacts with those who defile our beloved friends the sheeps. The animal activists on our team would not allow it.

Their policy is CFC does not negotiate with Sheeporists.

It is known.

Love,

CFC

 

[YossarianLives]

Well, the Spaniards have gotten another message to us before we sent anything to them. I think they decided where they can send us...

we have been talking with the Frenchs... they will be glad to respect our sheeps and give them the love we will not be able to give them as we will be 6 feets away from them. Actually we are a like bit worried we will not be missed considering the French reputation in nasting things....

so, go to hell!. We will be waiting for you there!

 

[Sommerswerd]

Awww now I wish even more that we sent them the message already...

Wait... Does it seem to anyone else like in their message they knew what we were going to say even before we said it??

 

[Sommerswerd]

I'm so sad that we did not send the letter, I will try another just for the heck of it.

Dear SpAp,

You will go to hell.

We will not.

In our Indian religion those who protect the livestocks always go to heaven and those who f#c% the livestocks are the ones who go to the devil to get their just rewards.

It is known.

Love CFC

 

[Bowsling]

Nice!

I would say "our Jewish religion" in the third line. And put the devil after the period.

 

[Bowsling]

I really wish all teams were this fun to deal with. It feels criminal to eliminate them this soon. We should do all of our diplomacy like this and see who plays along.

 

[2metraninja]

I think it is not too late to send them something. I propose to send them the following and will do so in few hours if no one objects.

Dear Spaniards,

The French sold you out and offered us a split of your homeland without doing any fighting. You are free to do what your heart dictates you and either hate us for taking our just revenge on you, or respect us for doing so.

Love, (strictly not with animals)

CFC

 

[vranasm]

I would change the "spaniards" to "sheeporists" I think it's such an awesome word that it should be there somewhere and I can't find another good spot to put it in....

 

[2metraninja]

I want to leave this message free of most puns. We are firing maybe our last bullet to try and shake even a bit the determination of the Spaniards to fight us only.

When they send us their answer, we then can unleash all speeporists fury we can get with

 

[Sommerswerd]

I think the big difference between 2metra and I is that 2metra is still trying to have serious diplomatic talks with these guys as he feels that there is some possible benefit we can gain...

Whereas I think we lost all hope of getting any value from them other than just some laughs and friendly humor back and forth.

So that is why I prefer to just joke around with them in the hopes that some of them think we are fun guys to chat with and maybe join our team after. There is nothing more in-game to be gained diplomatically from them whatsoever. They will not care in the slightest about us "telling on CivFr" 5 beers bet.

Only thing that "telling of CivFr" does at this point is make us look like weak whiny tattletellers... and nobody likes a tattleteller.

 

[2metraninja]

Only thing that "telling of CivFr" does at this point is make us look like weak whiny tattletellers... and nobody likes a tattleteller.

Not exactly. We are not betraying anyone. French told us and we are in war, we can do with the information they give us whatever we want.

I am not saying we will actually acquire something by sending them this message, but we cant lose much. We only hope for mind-fuсking with them and maybe making them only a little sadder and lost. And sad lost people act non-adequately.

 

[Sommerswerd]

Not exactly. We are not betraying anyone.

"Tattle-telling" is not betraying... at least not always betraying. Sure if you and I are brothers and we sneak to take some cookies after bedtime then we are in an unspoken pact that no-one will tell Dad or Mom. If I tattletell on you then I am betraying.

But in this situation tattletelling is not betraying. It is more like two bullies in the schoolyard. One bully is beating up a smaller kid who stole one of his lunch coins, or talks to his girl, whatever. A second bully comes over and kicks the kid while he is down. So the first bully, hoping to deflect some of the punishment from himself, runs and tells the teacher "Look how this bad bully #2 kicked that boy" hoping to get bully #2 in trouble.

Of course bully #2 and the smaller kid will look at bully #1 and think "What a jerk tattletale he is for running to the teacher to tell on someone." He has not "betrayed anyone, just made himself look weak and foolish.

 

[2metraninja]

The example is not correct.

It must be: Small kid hits one punch to big bully, the bully goes and chases him. There comes Bully #2 and and tells to the kid: give me 10 bucks and I will protect you from the bully #1. The kid is happy that Bully 1 will get kicked. But Bully 1 and Bully 2 dont want to get in troubles and Bully 2 tells Bully 1 : "Kick the poor little basterd few times, but not much, leave him alone after some time, so I can take his 10 bucks and you will have your butt unkicked by me". But Bully 1 want to kick the kid and take his 10 bucks, so he continue to beat the kid. When the kid threatens Bully 1 with Bully 2, Bully 1 tells the kid that Bully 2, his supposed savior already allowed Bully 1 to kick the #hit out of him, but he want the money, where now Bully 1 will kick the kid well, while taking the 10 bucks for himself

 

[Sommerswerd]

OK... We go with your example...

So what does the kid say in response? That is the important question.

Sommers - The kid will say to Bully #1 "F#ck you! I won't believe anything you say! You are the one who attacked me and tries to take my money. You are a thief a bully and a terrorist!"

2metra - The kid will say to Bully #1 "Oh! Thank you Bully #1! I did not know that, and now I believe everything you say! And as a reward for you telling me what a scoundrel Bully 2 is I will hand over to you the 10 bucks you wanted, and pull my pants down for you to give me a few good kicks in th a$$, then go tell Bully 2 that he may now commence to kick my a$$ too. But the laughs will be on him when he tries to rob and finds my pockets empty. So I still get my ass kicked, and I still lose all my 10 bucks, but I am happy for you to have it because you were the first one to start kicking my a$$ afterall."

- SpAp will tell us to go to hell... again... 10 beer bet

 

[2metraninja]

They can send us to hell how much they want, but they will still feel a bit bitter about Bully #2. And might not be so quick in emptying their pockets Which can be of some help to us. Or at least cant damage us.