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Funny Quotes

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by scotland_no1, May 29, 2003.

  1. scotland_no1

    scotland_no1 Jimmy Hat Salesman

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    i was searching the web, and i foubf some very amusing quotes :p

    try to guess who said them, heres three of the ones i liked :)

    1)"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

    2)"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

    3)"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

    if someone gets who made these quotes ill post the website, some of them make good signatures, im gonna try and find more funny quotes form a diffirent guy/gal :p
     
  2. D' Artagnan

    D' Artagnan Mousquetaire du Roi

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    George W.Bush ? ( i know he said n°2 for sure)
     
  3. scotland_no1

    scotland_no1 Jimmy Hat Salesman

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  4. nixon

    nixon Rationale is leaving you

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    Dan Quayle, # 1.
     
  5. scotland_no1

    scotland_no1 Jimmy Hat Salesman

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    now this has to be the best george bush quote ever! this is pretty funny :p

    Interviewer: 'Can you name the President of Chechnya?'
    Bush: 'No. Can you?'
    Interviewer: 'Prime Minister of India?'
    Bush: 'Er...The new Prime Minister of India is...er...No.' ...
    Bush: 'The new Pakistani General, he's just been elected...He appears he'll bring stability to the country.'
    Interviewer: 'And can you name him?'
    Bush: 'General, I can Name the General.'
    Interviewer: 'And it's...?'
    Bush: 'General'

    this one is good too :)

    "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" Let us analyze that sentence for a moment. If you're a stickler, you probably think the singular verb "is" should have been the plural "are," but if you read it closely, you'll see I'm using the intransitive plural subjunctive tense. So the word "is" are correct.

    and here is the website with quotes form loads of people that re funny, hey even alexander greame bell is on that list :p

    http://www.amusingquotes.com/h/a_b.htm
     
  6. scotland_no1

    scotland_no1 Jimmy Hat Salesman

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    If you know of any funny or strange quotes.. please post them here, they may give someone a good signature :) :p
     
  7. MummyMan

    MummyMan Emperor

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    "I like going to places overseas. Especially Canada"- Britney Spears
     
  8. scotland_no1

    scotland_no1 Jimmy Hat Salesman

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    LOL thats a good one, what a moron :p
     
  9. WillJ

    WillJ Coolness Connoisseur

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  10. Irish Caesar

    Irish Caesar Yellow Jacket

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    It's really disappointing that the Quayle quotes are on this website and people continue to attribute them to President Bush.

    In fact, if I'm correct, Dan Quayle is the speaker behind all three of the quotes in the first post here.

    (One would think that after all of the "Bush quotes" threads that have been posted and corrected to Quayle, someone would get it...)
     
  11. Bose

    Bose Antipodean

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    Ha ha, keep telling yourself that! And i thought all the gullibility had gone from the world ;)
     
  12. anonymous4401

    anonymous4401 Prince

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    Very odd. I saw these quotes and some others attributed to no less than three people, Quayle, Bush, and Gore. I have an inkling they're all Quayle's as some of them are quite old.
     
  13. Ailing Penguin

    Ailing Penguin Chieftain

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    Some of these are just good quotes, but most are funny


    "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" - Arnold Schwarzenegger
    "The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy". - Helen Hayes (at 73)
    "Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."
    -- Plato
    "Try not to become a man of success, but rather, try to become a man of value." -- Albert Einstein
    "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." --Mark Twain
    "Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood". --Oscar Wilde
    "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend". --Martin Luther King, Jr.
    "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". --Gandhi
    "If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life." --Tommy Lasorda
    "Every relationship I've been in, I've overwhelmed the girl. They just can't handle all the love. " . --Justin Timberlake
    "Keep your face to the sunshine and you will not see the shadows". - Helen Keller
    "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. - Wayne Gretzky
    "Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you got". - Garth Brooks
    "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music". - George Carlin
    "For those who understand no explanation is needed, ...For those who don't none will do". - Jerry Lewis
    "Don't be so humble, you're not that great". - Golda Meir
    "I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house". - Zsa Zsa Gabor
    "Ya gots to work with what you gots to work with". - Stevie Wonder
    "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." --Jason Kidd
    "People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000." --Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990
    "I'm the best there was, the best there is, and the best there ever will be!." --Bret Hart
    ""Ninety percent of the game is half mental." --Jim Wohford
    "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool (Yogi Berra).
     
  14. Turner

    Turner Deity Retired Moderator

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    Bunch of good ones here. Some are attributed to people, some aren't. Some you'll just know.

    Some are funny, some are thoughtful, some are philisophical. . .
     
  15. Suppersalmon

    Suppersalmon Think Safely think again

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    When I take action, I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive.

    Its your money you paid for it

    Boths George W bush Quotes
     
  16. MrPresident

    MrPresident Anglo-Saxon Liberal

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    "I told you I was ill." - Message on Spike Milligan's tombstone.
     

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