(G&K) Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition


In a word: Illyria
Jul 19, 2013
East Coast, US
I have been playing this game over the past few days, and I thought the story of what happened was compelling enough for me to create an account and post my tale. Unfortunately, as I was already full-speed-ahead by the time I realized I should've probably been writing this down from the beginning, I have no pictures to show, so just a lot of text.

I had this as a synopsis to a friend who does not play Civilization, and I copied (with a few edits) the messages I had sent to them, which is why I explain terms from the game that I'm sure the majority/all of us here know. Also, I started writing in real-time by the end, which is why it suddenly shifts to a very detailed account as it got closer and closer. Due to my style of writing, it is also very long. My apologies in advance, I will attempt to fix the formatting if it proves to be a problem in any way.

G&K (As I don't yet have BNW), Huge-sized Shuffle map, 8 Civilizations and 16 City-states, Prince difficulty, standard speed.


*The Setup*
Spoiler :
So I'm playing as the Spanish empire, because I really like their leader music. I end up getting this entire stretch of land to myself, and it's about 100 turns before I meet any other civilizations. Gandhi/India has a little island area off of my land stretch, Boudicca/The Celts and Augustus Caesar/Rome inhabit the same continental space in the lows right corner of the map, Haile Selassie/Ethiopia lies on his own island to the West, Ramesses/Egypt after him, and then Suleiman/The Ottomans and Washington/America each inhabit their own islands to the West of mine.

That's the setup, I've found everybody definitely by turn 200 (which is about 0/1 AD).

Not-So-Humble Beginnings
Spoiler :
So I begin expanding, building cities to take control of my strip of lands and begin working the land with farms, lumber mills, trading posts, mines, etc.

Ramesses, meanwhile, is getting mad at me because he believes I'm expanding too aggressively - which I completely am, placing cities to get key location on my continent-thingy. But then I settle a city close India's island, and Gandhi freaks out because he covets that land.

Meanwhile, I've become buddies with Boudicca and Haile Selassie, the latter of which is currently #1 on the scoreboard, which is a plus for me.

Well, so I have a Defensive Pact with both Ethiopia and the Celts.- which basically means that if somebody declares war on me or them, the other will also join the war in defense of their ally. But what do they do? Boudicca declares war on Haile Selassie, which cause me to go to war with her, and suddenly everybody hates and denounces me for declaring war on a civilization that I was friends with - including Ethiopia.

India absolutely despises me at this point, so I decide "ah, screw it", and build up a ground army. I settle a city right on their borders, taking a small strip of land that's all that's left un-taken of the island by India, and then I go in full-force, and utterly destroy Gandhi. Okay, one player down.

Strike Three, And You're Out!
Spoiler :
At this point, I want peace, so I begin building up my cities - including my newly-acquired puppet states of Mumbai and Delhi - but I'm, at the same time, building up a reasonable naval armada, because I'm pretty sure Ramesses (who also despises me at this time) is going to declare war on me.

So, I'm still at war with Boudicca. I've decided enough is enough, and I go and attack her island. It's kinda hard, but I take all three of her cities, and she's down for the count. That's two.

Roman Ingenuity
Spoiler :
By this point, I was unsure of what victory path I was gonna go, but after taking Edinburgh, I decide to go all-out Domination, and after building up many navy and army a bit, struck at Caesar, talking so outlying cities right off the bat before suing for peace during the siege of a third city. He's fought well, and my navy isn't sufficient enough to do enough damage, and I'm on the defensive on ground, his troops trying to assault my new Celtic puppet states.

Rivals and Religion
Spoiler :
So I build up my forces again, and I'm keeping an eye on Ethiopia, because Haile Selassie is building up Wonders, and getting dangerously close to a victory by way of Culture.- which can't happen obviously, otherwise everything I did would be for naught. We're also at this point the two highest-scoring players, with both of us first in many demographical aspects, and we're constantly fighting over influential possession of all the city-states on the map.

In other news, myself, Ethiopia, The Celts, Rome and Egypt have all founded religions (Haile, Christianity; Boudicca, Buddhism; Caesar, Hinduism; and Ramesses, Judaism. I ended up taking the Islam moniker (A star and moon), and renamed it Iberianism because Spain is on the Iberian Peninsula IRL), and my conquest in Celticaland destroys Buddhism, made sure of by me with an inquisitor sent to their holy city.

Death to Caesar!
Spoiler :
So my forces mighty enough - by this point, I'm not dead last in terms of soldiers, so things are beginning to pick up - and I attack Rome head-on, starting with an assault against both Antium (the one I had tried to capture before) and the city of Rome itself. I am successful in this second endeavor, and a swift but more-dangerous struggle with the inland city of Neapolis destroys Rome, and Augustus congratulates me on my victory, his civilization destroyed. I send an inquisitor to his holy city, remove the Source of Hinduism and the last vestiges of Rome begin to fade away. Three down.

Over-trumping the Ace
Spoiler :
By this point, I'm picking up in the scores, and I overtake Ethiopia in points (though this isn't anything particularly special, as it's merely a number). I build up my navy - by this time, we've reached the Industrial Age, and my naval ships are becoming increasingly more powerful. I am making enough gold that despite Haile Selassie's constant attempts at staying coups in the city-states - his spies were very annoying in this regard, but fortunately for me, he had not protected his capital against my spies, so I constantly stole the technological abilities he had learned before me until I actually surpassed him with my own science - I am able to ally myself with almost all of them by the time war happens. And boy, does it happen.

My naval army at this point is quite huge, and I station it right outside Ethiopia's borders. Then I visit Mr. "Haile Selassie, the Enlightened" and formally declare war. Lalibela never knew what hit it until it was too late. At this point, my army is increasing, and I move all of them, along with my two Great Generals, into Ethiopian soil, poised to attack from two fronts once again. Adwa is next, followed by the capital, Addis Ababa. I'm waging a separate war with a submarine, stationed outside of Gondar, to the west and the next city in line for taking. Well, a few submarines, as they keep getting destroyed. But anyways, Gondar is on a one-tile strip of land that connects a small outlying portion of the continent/island, and it is surprisingly well-defended and hard to take. (OOC Note: Upon looking back in the reply, I had actually taken Gondar first before Addis Ababa. It is a small thing, however, and the rest of the account of correct to the best of my memory, as this was only from a day preceding this submission)

But I ultimately prevail, basically destroying their entire navy - they had the highest amount of soldiers and population before this, and now I was quickly making my way to #1 and actually surpassed them in the latter by taking their cities. With Gondar now under my control, the only thing standing between me and Ethiopia's destruction is the city of Harar, which lay on the coast on the upper-half of the continent, so it was not in my way yet, as I worked from the east through the bottom half. And with basically no forces left to oppose me, Harar goes down easily, and with that, Haile Selassie, my buddy-turned worst enemy, is no more. He talks to me, in his last moments, but I can't remember now, for I honestly do not much care. Four down.

The Battle of Giza Bay
Spoiler :
With the capture of Addis Ababa, I basically have under my control all the Wonders in the game, minus a few such as the Great Wall of China, which America surprisingly got to before either of us. Next in line is Egypt, who has the most cities out of the three remaining civilizations. My pockets lined with money, I buy the loyalty of the five remaining city-states who had allied themselves with the dastardly Ethiopia and move all my forces to Egypt's eastern border.

Egypt is pitiful despite having the most cities. I use my loads of coin to persuade Suleiman and Washington - both, at this point, had since become my greatest allies, the three of us having adopted Order (basically becoming Communist states by implication and flavor) - to declare war on Ramesses, diverting his outlying attention away from his southern border, and I promptly declare war and take Akhetaten in that same turn. Byblos lies inland, and I send my army to besiege it while my navy focuses on assaulting Giza, which lay on a one-tile landstrip that is basically the connecting route between the smaller bay my ships are fighting from, and the bigger bay in which the majority of the rest of their cities lie along. The Battle in Giza Bay had begun...

Spoiler :
...And it ended pretty quick, within a few turns. Byblos fell to my ground army the next turn, and my forces instantly went on the office, storming through Giza into Alexandria Cove, my navy assaulting both Alexandria and Pi-Ramesses, which lay on the other side of the bay. Egypt puts up a great naval fight, and forces a temporary stalemate on land, but I take Pi-Ramesses while my battleships - I've long-since reached the modern era - attack Alexandria and weaken its defenses. I destroy the infantry defending it, my troops move in, take the city, and my naval forces move on to Capital Bay, attacking both Memphis and Thebes (the capital), the latter of which is situated between a second bay, which while containing no cities, would allow more me to move quicker towards their other cities. Thebes falls, followed very shortly by Memphis, and the bay connection sends my troops on a hunt to Elephantine, my ground forces also besieging both it and Heliopolis.

Both cities fall quickly and swiftly, and Egypt is without an army to fight me as I proceed west and steam-roll right over their last two cities, outlying colonies on other islands which had recently been built and were barely protected against attacks. At last, the Pharaoh, who so despised me, was dead. Five down.

Bittersweet Belly
Spoiler :
All that stands between me and victory are The Ottomans and America - my allies. What to do, what to do... I know! So I simply pay off Suleiman and he goes to war with Washington. Now they're both distracted with each other as I slowly move my forces to his doorstep. He has a great navy - not unexpected – and I wait for many turns while my forces gather. And then I strike, turning against friend - it's not as if it matters at this point, nor can either do anything to stop me. He puts up a very good fight, and my forces take a fair amount of damage from his defenses, but Konya - his only possession off of his main island, directly across from his capital - falls, and with it any true resistance. My navy, in particular my submarines, quickly destroy all of his ships, and the Ottoman capital of Istanbul falls, quickly followed by Edirne, then Bursa, and finally, Ankara. Suleiman sees himself off, looking at the state of his empire that is no more. Having been my friend, I almost feel sorry for him, but I did what I must, and I have regrets. Six down.

*OOC Update*
Spoiler :
And now we come to America.

And this is the current state of the game. Turn 619, 1984 according to the game's history progression. My forces are gathered right outside of New York, neatly lined up to attack and take the city quickly and effortlessly, with nothing Washington can do to stop me. Shall we declare war on the last vestige of major non-Spanish territory..?

Friends Unto Enemies
Spoiler :
"I trust that you are a friend to Liberty," Washington says as I greet him. Perhaps I was once, but not now.


Washington looks at me, shock on his face. He struggles to find the ways to say, his fist clenching in anger before starting right at me, anger and betrayal blazing in his eyes. "You have mistaken our love of peace for weakness," he manages to reply. "You shall regret this". But I don't think I will.

Empire State of Mind
Spoiler :
My nuclear submarines quickly take down the only ships he had in the near vicinity, while the full Naval brunt of my battleships siege New York, aided by my four Great Admirals. Unfortunately, New York holds its own against my Destroyer, barely hanging on with a silver of health. No matter, it will die the next turn then. I quickly set my ships to be sent to Washington, while my ground forces make land at the Southern tip of America's land, ready to strike inland as need be.

Curses! New York has a great airbase of Great War Bombers, and they succeed in destroying my Destroyer. Fortunately, I come prepared, a second destroyer sitting right next to it, and it swoops in to take New York. The first thing to be done is to obviously destroy those bombers.

DC Is Comical
Spoiler :
My forces move on to Washington, but - what's this? Drats, Washington is on the coast, but on the other half! No matter, I send my newly-healed destroyer from Ankara to attack it. Four turns. I set my submarines up to give both field-of-vision and destroy anything that America brings into the water, while my army marches on with the intention to surround Washington.

My forces mobilize, my battleships firing on Washington from afar as my troops close in. My submarines reveal that Washington's entire navy - a respectable size, but nothing against the power of skill of my own, lie in wait just off the coast - so I quickly jump in with two of my submarines and destroy 2/7 of his ships.

Spoiler :
At last! The battleships bombard the capital, weakening it's defenses to nothingness, as my submarines destroy their navy and a smaller strike forces targets Chicago. I charge in with my tank, destroying their last Great General - and with him, their last chance at hope, for it then turns to Washington itself, attacking the dead city and taking it. The mighty city of Washington falls! And with it, all the capitals in the world belong to the Spanish empire. Domination has been achieved.

"The world has been convulsed by war. Many great and powerful civilizations have fallen, but you have survived - and emerged victorious! The world will long remember your glorious triumph!"



Thoughts? Do I deserve my glorious triumph? I will post screengrabs of the aftermath if possible. Also, perhaps a few saves for anybody who wants to try this setup or witness the reply and turn results of my actions through this game.
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