After playing in a couple of dozen Pitboss games I've noticed that most players fall into one of two categoriers. When finding a player nearby they either go for the quick kill or set up an alliance. Which are you? IMO, the quick kill strategy is a loser as you will lose in the long run. Even if you eventualy take your naighbor out you will be hopelessly behind in the tech race. I also think it's rather dull. It doesn't take much civ skill to just build a stack and take it to your neighbor.