Well scherbchen, are you ready to see the as---le in me? Here goes.
I am in the military. I am kind of homophobic. I don't like gay men touching me. I don't like them hitting on me either. However, I fully believe that gay marraige is a civil right. To each their own. In a sense, I agree with you that they should be able to serve their country and defend their freedom just like black people. In principal, by my ideals, that is how I feel in my heart.
But as a male serviceman, I can tell you that's not so simple. At the base I was at, there were numerous high profile instances of gay's sexually abusing other men against their will. Most times, while they were sleeping. And instances of gay men abusing men were more numerous than females being abused by males. One of the companies I served with had a notorious nightstalker. There was another big case where I was stationed, where one Navy guy had heard from other guys in his tent, that they had been sexually abused while they slept. So he slept with his knife. Well, the guy eventually came into his room, touched him inappropriately, and was then held at knifepoint, in the tent, until people could take care of him.
The guy who had the knife recieved a far harsher punishment than the homosexual, who was simply relocated to a base stateside.
Then you have the instance of showering. As a straight man, I feel extremely uncomfortable showering with people who are sexually attracted to me if I am not sexually attracted to them. Call me weird, but this is the fact of the matter. This goes for women too. I would despise being in a room, naked, with other naked women, and having them look at me, stare at me, think about me in a sexual manner. It's not necessarily the fact that they are gay that bothers me. It is the fact that they may be attracted to, and get their groove on at my expense in their head. I don't think that I should have to be fully comfortable with the idea of people looking at me in a sexual manner in order to justify the existance of gays within the military. Period. If we are going to go that route, then we might as well just have co-ed bathrooms EVERYWHERE. And we might as well have co-ed housing. Why are women and men segregated from living with one another in most circumstances in the military? Why are relationships ill advised in the military? All of these should be applied to homosexuals in the military too. Having a gay man in your tent, is no different than having a straight man sleeping in a tent with a bunch of women.
Basically, in my mind, since I think that gays really should be allowed to serve, in many instances where full privacy simply cannot be achieved (bootcamp, field training, overseas deployments) the only real solution seems to be seperate but different. And then you start falling into the rhealm of discrimination. And nobody wants to go down that road.
I would love to have my mind corrected on this. I would love for someone to propose a solution that satisfies everyone. I belong to some pretty good forums, one is probably more on the ball than this one. And nobody has ever been able to come up with an argument against my position.
"Dont ask, Dont tell" policy. Yeah, that's the point I was trying to make. 
It's possible in probability terms.
