Girl/Dating Scenario

[gangleri2001]

3 years? He moved on? And you even ask this in an internet forum? What's wrong with you capslock? Man, after reading this, I think that the best for her is not to date with you.

 

[7ronin]

Time waits for no man. Date her. It's been three years and your friend has moved on.

 

[Harbringer]

Ask your friend first, friends can be made to last for ever but . .. .. .. .. .es...well, . .. .. .. .. .es be crazy.

 

[Simple Simon]

for heaven's sake, man, date her!

I second that!

if the guy is your friend (truly your friend, I mean), he will be happy for you. After all, if he couldn't get her back fro three years, it should be clear to him that he has no chance.

 

[Ecofarm]

It's not about "getting her back". It's about having to hang out with her because she is now dating his friend.

So, what are you doing tonight?
Oh, my girlfriend and I are gonna go to dinner and then some drinks with my friend and a chick who broke my heart.

Further, do you think this guy's girlfriend is gonna like hanging out with him and the chick he wanted but couldn't have?

Jeez people, is nobility (as a character trait) dead? If you wanna date this girl, fine. But don't go hanging out with your friend if you do. What makes you think you should cause him (and presumably his girlfriend) to be uncomfortable just so you can get a slice? Are you really that desperate?

 

[Grisu]

by all means, date her.

It's not about "getting her back". It's about having to hang out with her because she is now dating his friend.

So, what are you doing tonight?
Oh, my girlfriend and I are gonna go to dinner and then some drinks with my friend and a chick who broke my heart.

Further, do you think this guy's girlfriend is gonna like hanging out with him and the chick he wanted but couldn't have?

Jeez people, is nobility (as a character trait) dead?

I don't see how not dating her would be noble in any way. Now if he dated her right after she dumped him it would be another story, but like that? Nah.

If anything it woud be ignoble of his friend to stand in his way after all these years...

 

[Ecofarm]

You don't see this creating a big uncomfortable situation if the friends hangout with their new girlfriends?? Not just for his friend, but for his friend's girlfriend. It's so selfish, I just can't believe the gutter-trawl suggesting he follow his dick.


You know what they say, capslock, buddy is only half a word.

Maybe a bunch of uglies are pushing you in the wrong direction, because they rarely get access to a slice. But as a good looking guy (and I'll assume you are as well), I know there are plenty of opportunities and see no need to take the messy ones.

And don't think for one second that this isn't a little power trip for her. She knows damn well what the situation is and should have the decency to step back. Do you really want to get involved with a chick that sees no problem in dumping a guy and chasing his friend? That's scummy.

 

[Grisu]

You don't see this creating a big uncomfortable situation if the friends hangout with their new girlfriends?? Not just for his friend, but for his friend's girlfriend. It's so selfish, I just can't believe the gutter-trawl suggesting he follow his dick.

After 3 bloody years? and the 'relationship' his friend had with her was 4 months? hardly a long-term relationship.

Sorry, he'd be an ass to hold it against him if he dated her.

I'll pass up on comment on the rest or your post

 

[King of Town]

Date her, tell your friend not to be a you know what blocker

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Heh, been there. Don't date her if you want to stay friends with your best buddy.

Otherwise, have a ball.

edit: Eco is wise. Eco knows best

 

[Arwon]

Oh, I missed the heartbroken bit. Depending on how close a mate it is, you really should talk to him about it. He may well be over it, but you don't know.

 

[philippe]

date your buddy. Go for it, capslock.

 

[UNpatriot]

The girl might very well have matured since the beginning of the scenario, and might not do it again. (I know it from my own experience) Perhaps they could even get over it. Anyway, if your buddy is dating someone else but still wants her, he is treating his current one unfairly and thus not any more mature. Therefore, he need not be cared so much about. If he doesn't, there is a way to avoid conflict, so go ahead.

 

[capslock]

Hey, thanks for the feedback.

I'm afraid Eco is probably right. It just makes for a messy situation, but I don't want to give up on it, lol. I'll go into more detail about how its workin out when I get off work. Keep the feedback coming, I'm curious to know what people think.

BTW, its not like either of us (me or the girl) have been sittin around lonely the past few years tryin to wait it out. Its just we keep runnin into each other, so it keeps comin up. We've both been out doin our own thing, though.

 

[classical_hero]

I know of friend who have lost girlfriends and another friend took her, after she had broken up with the first friend and there have been no problems with the two friends.

 

[downtown]

I've had a somewhat similar experience happen to me, only the time frames were shorter, and there were slightly more dramatic experiences. At any rate, the other guy was my best friend when we were freshman in college, and I've spoken to him maybe once since then.

If you really want to date her, go for it...but like a few others have mentioned, you're risking your friendship with your buddy. At the absolute very least, you ought to talk to him about it.

Bros before Hos man. The people who aren't taking other social relationships into account here prob. aren't very choosy about the women they date.

 

[Grisu]

Bros before Hos man.

I never quite understood that argument, IMHO, both should be weighted about equal...or what would you say if your best friend told you you should ditch your gf? would you really?

The people who aren't taking other social relationships into account here prob. aren't very choosy about the women they date.

Or the other way around...for me the whole thing depends on capslock's intentions with this girl ...if he just wants to get laid, I pretty much agree with you...if he's truly infatuated with this girl, I'd say go with it (and since I'm rather picky myself, I just assumed the latter )

 

[Cullyn]

After 3 years? Date her, and if your buddy is really your buddy he should understand, if he doesn't he's a selfish jerk.

 

[Sharwood]

I wouldn't have waited 3 seconds. A breakup means it's over I don't subscribe to the notion that you get some unspecified cooling off period

This. I'd be nailing her immediately.

 

[philippe]

once again: do your buddy, right befor her eyes.