I have never been able to manage this sort of diplomacy. I find most things are non-negotiable. Can you outline the steps more clearly, please?
...
If you have Organised Relegion, giving up your religion is a big loss!
yes, what you say is true in many cases... thats why its absolutely imperative to choose your initial relision wisely and sometime not adopt ay religion at all! religion is one of the biggest aspects of early diplo, most likely THE biggest. in the eraly going, top, you cannot afford to adop a religion in most cases unlss you are surrounded by peace-mongers only or by people that all have the same religion.
once somebody is only at cautious or even annoyed, he will often not be bribed into war by you. some people like shaka, will be easily bribed even at cautious, though. which makes him very easy to manipulate, once athetics and alpha are in... also their stance towards the other AI can be important. justianian for instance, wont ever declare on someone they are pleased with. shaka wont care, tho, so long as the price is right...
Anyone who needs 3 to 4 techs from you must be pretty backward. How is he going to help you? He may probably back out and leave you in the lurch.
war-like AIs are almost always a threat to another AI, although they are bhind most of the time. due to their high units spam, their attacking stacks are much bigger than from peaceful AIs. simply putting them at war, will slow both down, will make them hate each other, will make it more likely that another AI joins that war and in turn keep you safe pretty much... also if you have bribed them, they are now more advanced and thus the bribing potential for other advanced civ shrink significantly to the point where they cant come up with a big enough offer. this keeps you even safer!
I am seldom even able to trade a tech with more than one civ. Even if they don't have it, if their techs are non-negotiable, what can you do?
again, thats an effect of your poor diplo! i assume you found religion or at least adopt one early? dont do that! it will make everyone hate you!