>Your reward center is always playing for you, but in many cases you've forgotten the game and left it on demo mode. What about my example concerning addiction? >People don't connect the rewards with what they are doing to get them Some people don't, true, that is I guess the main way to control one's own reward center >I've seen hundreds of people pass through the "ah ha" moment of realizing they have been doing exactly that since I had that experience myself, and it is always basically the same. Disagree. This is where I feel you project. Different people strive for different things in life. I realize it will be hard to convince you otherwise, but I sure as hell know people in my life that have never striven for dominance in one way or another, rather harmony. I'm not one of them, but they are certainly out there. I don't even doubt that maybe a lot of people strive for dominance, but there's also a lot who strive for harmony or recognition. >As I said about people who wallow in guilt because they get the reward of constant affirmation, most people are using their emotions as weapons to dominate the people around them. I think your point earlier was that people abuse negative emotion to gain a dominant position or receive consolation, is that right? Of course that is true, but it's just part of the picture >I was desperate about being pursued..  See, were all different in that sense. I had all of this "pursue" without putting in too much work, just because I'm a lucky fluck. The things I strive after are completely different. If I read this right, what you did was you assessed exactly what it was you were seeking for, realized its costs and decided to change your whole reward system around, no? So, in a sense, deep introspection and the realization of your somewhat destructive striving were necessary to overcome it. Something like that only works in the first place however if you have a functioning reward system. If you are suffering from depression or just have low serotonin levels you start from a different point. If there is no incentive to begin with you cannot change it around, you have to build it up.