Help for an atheist going to church

El_Machinae

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He's been married for 20 years. I think he knows how to treat his wife.

As well, it's probably not one of those home-wrecking denominations. And any reasonable skepticism can prevent a loved one from going off the deep end, though it's probably important to not have a poisonous vibe.
 

NovaKart

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The unitarian church sounds like it would be a nice idea for me but I just can't help but feel like it's diet church. I was raised southern baptist so I feel like it's not really church unless the minister is up front shouting about hellflire and repentance, half the congregation is obese and/or over 60, and all the songs come from the old hymnals. Actually that was my grandma's church, the church we usually went to was less extreme.

Say what you want about the Baptists though, they make some really good down home country food. Except for the nasty pink marshmellow salad thing someone always brings.

Church can give you some good things to think about, I go with my parents sometimes when I'm back home. It's just a bit annoying when people start pressuring you to get more involved. My opinion is, it's nice once a week but I don't want to base my whole life around this thing.

Anyway, plenty of people ignore the submissive wife part of Christianity so I don't think it will be an issue unless you're married to someone who decided to read everything in the Bible literally and tries to follow every little thing.
 
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For the last couple of Sundays I have gone to church, because my wife (who I love dearly) wants to go and wants me to come with her. On the last visit, I told her I don't believe in God (after 20 years, the first time the discussion has ever come up). My wife is exploring her beliefs and this is how she wants to do it after discovering a few weeks back that she was christened at a church local to us.

The main reason, I go is because I love my wife. But I also enjoy the singing and the general happy an friendly place a church is. While I don't believe in words or the sermons and rituals, I do believe in the sense of love that is in this place.

So for the time being, I will attend church and help my wife discover her beliefs in her own way.

Well I think you already answer your question on whether or not you want to continue going to church with your wife. As long as you are happy that you are going because some of the things in a church can be of interest for you, and the fact you like going with your wife that make her happy that you are with her. It's a double win.

I couldn't do it with my girlfriend. After two trips with her, I was totally jaded by the whole experience.
 

MobBoss

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Did you not read the thread title where he says he is an atheist?

Yup. Perhaps you should follow the convo between posters as well. :rolleyes:


This seems to imply that if the non-beliver doesn't shape up, the believer will end the deal:

Yet if she did, she would be breaking this:

Who said anything about divorce? I certainly didnt.

There goes Jolly, assuming as usual.
 

Shadylookin

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That's the worst of both worlds. Still going to hell, but forced to get up on Sunday mornings and listen to some hymns with sketchy lyrics followed by some guy preaching at you.
 

Left

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Sounds like you don't need any help

Yeah it really sounds like you aren't doing anything wrong and neither is your wife. Church can be fun and it sounds like you enjoy the community there. Plenty of people go to church for exactly this reason. Now that you are headed into retirement it can give you a good social outlet plus service opportunity for your free time.

If the church has a lady vicar I assume its progressive enough that its not going to offend your sensibilities too much.
 

JollyRoger

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Who said anything about divorce? I certainly didnt.

There goes Jolly, assuming as usual.
If the deal is marriage and the deal gets broken, then the common sense assumption would be that dealbreaker = divorce.

But it relly doesn't matter, since I say anything about divorce either. If you read "divorce" into my post, you should call in a lumberjack for some eye surgery.
 

civ_king

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Just remember to tell your wife that she should have her hair covered at all times.
You beat me to it :goodjob:
The unitarian church sounds like it would be a nice idea for me but I just can't help but feel like it's diet church. I was raised southern baptist so I feel like it's not really church unless the minister is up front shouting about hellflire and repentance, half the congregation is obese and/or over 60, and all the songs come from the old hymnals. Actually that was my grandma's church, the church we usually went to was less extreme.

Say what you want about the Baptists though, they make some really good down home country food. Except for the nasty pink marshmellow salad thing someone always brings.

Church can give you some good things to think about, I go with my parents sometimes when I'm back home. It's just a bit annoying when people start pressuring you to get more involved. My opinion is, it's nice once a week but I don't want to base my whole life around this thing.

Anyway, plenty of people ignore the submissive wife part of Christianity so I don't think it will be an issue unless you're married to someone who decided to read everything in the Bible literally and tries to follow every little thing.

Sounds nothing like my Church. Never Hellfire and brimstone, generally a fit group, generally young (more than 60% is below 30) and new hymnals every year. My Church is about love and forgiveness because forgiveness heals and renews.
:yup:

Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
 
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If the deal is marriage and the deal gets broken, then the common sense assumption would be that dealbreaker = divorce.

Well only from sets of individuals that assume that as long as they are non-traditional about things like marriages.
 

Millman

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What kind of help do you seek? From a business perspective I'd like to know what the church's credit score is?
 

NovaKart

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You beat me to it :goodjob:


Sounds nothing like my Church. Never Hellfire and brimstone, generally a fit group, generally young (more than 60% is below 30) and new hymnals every year. My Church is about love and forgiveness because forgiveness heals and renews.
:yup:

Ephesians 5:21 "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

I'm not suggesting all churches are like that. This was my grandmother's church which is a traditional Appalachian Baptist church. They're probably a dying breed now.
 
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lulz. I was baptized in a Unitarian Church. Neither of my parents are religious though, it was mostly just to get the more religious midwestern branch of our family "off of our backs" (they had been hounding my parents about getting me baptized for a good year or so), and they did it in a unitarian church as a sort of "take that!" to them, or at least from the way my mom tells it. It sounds very much like something my dad would do, actually.

:lol: that is quite funny.
 
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I'm not suggesting all churches are like that. This was my grandmother's church which is a traditional Appalachian Baptist church. They're probably a dying breed now.

I go to a Southern babtist! The old people are wonderfully nice, but the food there isn't very good, but my paster is really good and friendly.
 

civ_king

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I'm not suggesting all churches are like that. This was my grandmother's church which is a traditional Appalachian Baptist church. They're probably a dying breed now.
World isn't missing much
I go to a Southern babtist! The old people are wonderfully nice, but the food there isn't very good, but my paster is really good and friendly.
Aren't Southern Baptists congregations usually virulently homophobic?
 

Stile

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Aren't Southern Baptists congregations usually virulently homophobic?

I doubt it. Atlanta has been rated the #1 city in America for Gay Friendliness, while being the capital of the Bible belt. They have a very large SB population and they are near ground zero for the Southern Baptist movement (Augusta).

If by homophobic you mean SB think homosexuality is a sin, then sure, they are homophobic. The 1st Baptist Church of Atlanta nationally syndicates their sermons and I've never heard one on it. I don't think it's something they are that concerned about. I'm sure there's a wide range among the individual churches. I've heard a reputation for being judgemental and hypocritical, but to me that's more a personal rather than institutional failing.
 

civ_king

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I doubt it. Atlanta has been rated the #1 city in America for Gay Friendliness, while being the capital of the Bible belt. They have a very large SB population and they are near ground zero for the Southern Baptist movement (Augusta).

If by homophobic you mean SB think homosexuality is a sin, then sure, they are homophobic. The 1st Baptist Church of Atlanta nationally syndicates their sermons and I've never heard one on it. I don't think it's something they are that concerned about. I'm sure there's a wide range among the individual churches. I've heard a reputation for being judgemental and hypocritical, but to me that's more a personal rather than institutional failing.

By whom was it rated? How does it out rank San Francisco which is considered the most homosexual friendly city in the world? I've only met a hundred or so Southern Baptists, but they all proclaim homosexuals are evil when it is brought up.


EDIT: Women are required in Christian tradition to wear a veil in church (so saith Paul)
 

Stile

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By whom was it rated? How does it out rank San Francisco which is considered the most homosexual friendly city in the world? I've only met a hundred or so Southern Baptists, but they all proclaim homosexuals are evil when it is brought up.


EDIT: Women are required in Christian tradition to wear a veil in church (so saith Paul)

Atlanta Journal - Constitution link: The Advocate magazine rated Atlanta highest.

Evil? I've never heard that word associated with homosexuals. Of course I don't bring it up. Were you mentioning the veil thing to me? If so, I don't get it.
 
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