Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Ultraworld, Aug 20, 2003.
Exactly, friend = no chances.
Yes, something does seem odd about that. Not as bad as "relationship advice websites", however.
i heard this female guest host on the radio say this startegy, "be really nice for a while, then suddenly ignore her, and she'll come back fo more."
its really easy...
1. Buy a mind- control device.
2. Use it on the girl you want
3. Enjoy your freshly baked woman right from the oven *inside joke*
I'm not sure about that one. Ignoring her by itself doesn't trigger a reaction unless she has some interest in you. Another problem is that this is a strategy that takes time and such things develop fast or not at all, at least from my experience. Acting slow in romantic things may turn out fatal because both are hunting and juggling with more than one option ...
Here is roughly the process I went through - (Of course, I'm getting married in less than a month, so you might not want my advice)
I was persistant. I am by no means an outgoing person, but I set my sights on her and went for her. This is highly flattering to them. On your first date, tell her how you had to go out of your way to get her number.
I was lucky. She wanted to go on a date with me. This is one the part that's pretty much out of your hands. If she isn't open to dating you, it's going to be hard to get your foot in the door, so to speak. Most single girls will give you a chance.
I had a good job and a nice car. She denies it was any factor whatsoever, but I know better. Women, at least those out of school, will eat up any sign of responsibility on your part.
Getting a date is bound to be easier than you think. The only real trick is meeting available girls. And then of course you have to ask them out. Just figure out what you're going to say, count backwards from 5, and then just say it. Even if you blurt it out wrong, it's better than nothing!
Once you do land a date, the only thing you need to do is spark some interest. If she isn't interested in you, just forget it and move on. The right one will be.
Take a page from the immortal Arthur Fonzarelli. To meet girls, he had one word of advice - Supermarket (food story, pantry, grocery store, whatever you want to call it)
They gotta eat so they're gonna show up there some time and it's a much less hostile environment than a bar. there also won't be much competition.
there are two main courses of action.
1) Look confused and ask the first girl you might like for help. Strike up a conversation and let it go from there.
2)If you're a pretty good cook and know your way around the store pick out something and use the same line asking if she thinks one thing is better than the other...
From there you're on your own.
Seriously...don't try too hard...whatever is meant to be is gonna happen and it will happen when you least expect it. My wife and I are a perfect example.
Ultraworld, you are probably smelling bad. Take these as a gift from me:
My question is, to Ultraworld - WHY do you want to find a girlfriend? In my experience, the more you seek, the more alone you feel. Just let things happen - events unfold as they will, and in the meantime don't be concerned with it. Instead, build yourself up - concentrate on your own life, so when the day comes that you meet someone, she's impressed with what she sees. Worrying about it is nothing but counter-productive.
I think that really depends on the person. One of my friends told me the exact same thing, but in reality, that's not how things worked out for me. I seeked for a while, and ended up real luck and found someone I really like (perhaps even love). I must admit though, the worrying was driving me crazy.
The girl Im seeing now I met under rather ludacris (sp?) circumstances. I met her at work and lied about my age, then when she and I had engaged in some activity I came clean. She really didn't care all that much.
Here is some advice from someone I know and trust:
WHen talking to women, listen to them, ask them questions, but for god sakes DONT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF. Let them go on about their hair, their clothes etc. Not only do they see you as a good listener, but if you are asking them questions you also score points for being intelligent, caring and charming if you pull it off well.
Hate to say it but looks matter as well.
Also might want to limit the forum time.
I was in your position until a few weeks ago Ultraworld. Seeing your freinds being with their girlfreinds isn't easy and it kept nagging at me.
A few weeks ago, I was at our Hall of Residence ball and was basically in the right place at the right time. I asked a girl I knew a little to dance and it went from there. Not in any way premeditated but now I've taken her out a few times and we have a lot in common. I think sometimes the right thing just happens, if you try and push it too much (like I did before that) it doesn't really work.
if all else fails, be a pimp.
I know someone else who tried the "you have nice shoes" line
sorry I'm a little bitter right now,
I'd try to give advice but it turns out that I'm no good at this kind of thing...
Be yourself. A good girlfriend will like you for who you are, but that doesn't mean you can be completely slobby and unhygienic. If you have to talk about yourself at all, limit it to topics that you are 100% sure will not cause you embarrasment. Maybe talk about something funny that happened to you, but don't talk about how you did something funny/stupid. Let her talk and ask her questions at the right interval. Also, a good girlfriend won't require too much maintenance. Sure, you will have to pay for dinner, presents, and movies once and a while, but if your relationship is strong, you will not have to spend an absurd amount of money on her.
Now, on to my problem. A lot of advice on this thread is about how to meet girls and what to do when you have a girlfriend. However, my problem is asking them. It's been a good year or two since I've had a girlfriend and since then I haven't been too lucky asking others. I recently met quite a few nice girls at the school dance yesterday and at my friend's party today, some of which I wouldn't mind sharing a long-term relationship with. My fear here is getting rejected, as out of the four girls I have asked out since my first girlfriend broke up with me, all of them have rejected me, leading to an extreme fear of rejection. I worry about the consequences of getting rejected (I still would want to be friends with her, but in the past, girls that have rejected me have generally stayed away from me for a few months after I asked them) and the depression I would face after getting rejected. I was wondering if anyone could tell me when a good time is to ask out someone that I like, where a good place might be (in school, church [yes, there is a girl from church I like] call her [I would like to find a good way to get a number too], IM her, etc.), and how close we should be as friends already. Any advice would be greatly appreicated.
How have you been asking them out? If I know what hasn't been working I might be able to figure out what will.
I also have a major fear of rejection, so I have never asked anyone out...but somehow I've managed to snag quite a few boyfriends. My method is to flirt and wait for them to come to me. Unfortunately though, I think that's something that only works with girls. But I think I might be able to help you out with a little more background info...I'm very experienced at being asked out
You could pay for one* or go to the nearest Adult Toy Store and buy one.
*Thats legal in Europe right?
Both are problems we all face from time from I think. I think acting relaxed is a way out here. If you push too hard, rejection is likely. But ask yourself if you really want someone at your side who rejects you in the first place. Let's say you act really determined about meeting her, because you feel you have to and she steps back and rejects you. Well, is that really the person who appreciates your way of life?
As for the dating places, it's basically the same. Propose something you like, otherwise you'll may find yourself going to places you don't like for the rest of time. Of course, taking her to a tarantula museum is not neccessarily the best idea, but if you can't live without spiders, an arachnophobic girlfriend is not the way to go. Chose a place where you can talk and do other things as well (dance, play pool, whatever). Btw, there's a simple rule of thumb to tell if it could work out: If you laugh a lot together, everything's fine. If not, better forget it.
This is from the Life and Death Magazine for the Elimination of Truth.
Beware of sarcasm, irony and misogynism!
Ten tips on finding a bride
We asked Dr Katherine Jenkins, world-renowned expert on male/female psychology, to devise a list of the best methods for seducing women. Here is what she came up with!
1) Establish a career for yourself. This should be your highest priority. A woman likes to see a flash porsche to go with your smile. It shows her you are genuine. It reveals that you are prepared to sacrifice your entire life for the sake of a woman's well-being.
2) Learn to be unconscious, like a boy. Women hate consciousness in a man: it immediately implies he is against her. A man who continually removes himself by way of reflection clearly shows that he is capable of independent action and is therefore not to be trusted.
3) Learn to cultivate a violent disposition. Woman love violent men and mastering them. If you can manage to be aggressive towards everything in the world except the woman you love, you can be sure she will regard you as a good man. If you can then manage to be aggressive towards her as well, she will be yours forever.
4) When approaching a woman for the first time, don't worry overly much about your "opening line". The words you use are far less important than the messages given out by your body language. A woman is not so much interested in a man's linguistic dexterity as in his ability to promise a rosy future. Always remember that the first thing a woman looks at in a man is his shoes. She thinks: Is he reliable? Will he be able to pay the bills? Will he be a good father to the kids? Or is he just a self-serving creep? All these questions are assessed and resolved within the first moment of the initial introduction, so if she accepts your offer of a drink, you could well be on the brink of a long and loving relationship.
5) Learn how to make women laugh. This more than anything could ensure your success in winning them over to your side. The trick is to appear harmless, like a clown.
6) If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. In the matter of seducing girls, persistence always pays off. Always be ready to flatter. Tell her how beautiful she is. Lie if you have to - a woman will always take it as a compliment.
7) If in doubt, buy her flowers. Flowers are magical pieces of vegetable matter capable of totally overwhelming the female mind and producing in it strong feelings of goodwill to the man who gave them to her. The man may have recently confessed to being a multiple murderer and serial rapist, but in her eyes he is the sweetest man in the world. All of you should take note of this marvel.
8) Having captured her, the next task is to keep her.
9) The perfect husband is a chameleon, capable of adapting to the ever-changing moods of his wife. He is, alternately, a provider, protector, stud, little boy, wife-beater and girlfriend - depending on what her needs are at each particular moment. Therefore, you would be well-advised to shed your own personality completely. This is but a small sacrifice and not as painful as you might think.
10) Good Luck!
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