HFC - Cup 5 - Agustus Ceasar of Zululand

Metzi

Oh bugger.
Joined
Nov 18, 2009
Messages
247
Location
Scotland
Welcome to the Half Full Club, Cup 5. Here we pull our own hair out, attempting to win with rediculous circumastances.
So come, enjoy your daily loss of productivity and sanity. Feel free to join in and critize at your will. Suprisingly, this is productive.
The series is now at Prince!

Contents:

Round 1 - Stupid Human!

Round 2 - Preperations

Round 3 - This Island isn't big enough for the Two of us

Our leader. Introducing the lovely Agustus Ceasar of the Zululand, the Navy Hothead.

INDUSTRIOUS - The ability to build wonders with 50% more efficiency. Also, 1/2 on Forges. A very nice trait indeed.
IMPERIALISTIC - The ability to pump out settlers much more quickly, a.k.a the REX trait. Also 100% Great General emergance.

Our Unique Unit (Commonly refered as the UU). A spearman with 2 movement points, instead of the usuall one. Also starts with Mobility. Offers some tactical situations, but a 'Spear' rush seems a little unlikley.


Our UNique Building (If you haven't picked it up, it is commonley refered to as the UB, such as the UU). The Ikhanda! Not only a cheap barracks, but lowers your city maintanence by 20%! I quite like it, to be honest.


The start! I'm thinking on settling in place, but that's because I'm not going to take risks. :)


The Rules! Now there a Three Tiers, ordering from easy to hard. I will be playing on Hard, because if I screw it up It will offer you all something to mock me apon.:

Novice Ruleset! (3rd Tier).
1) You may not refuse a demand/threat from a female AI. This only counts for demands made against you. You can refuse trades. The only exception to this is if a female AI asks you to declare on another female AI. You cannot declare war on them.
2) You may not build more than 10 citys yourself. You can capture/flip/win more citys.

Vanguard Ruleset! (2nd Tier)
1) The Novice Ruleset applys.
2) You must win by Domination or Conquest/Culture/Diplomatic.
3) You are to aviod building The Great Lighthouse, The Colossus and The Oracle. You can aquire them by conquest/fliping citys however.

Redonculous Ruleset! (1st Tier)
1) The Vanguard and Novice Rulesets apply.
2) You can only build Coastal Citys! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

You could play without rules, but then I might be inclined to Kill you or in the very least badly maim you.

You may be wondering. How should I post?
We awnser, 'anytime you like, so long as you use spoilers'.

Thanks:
Cam H - there to scold me into shape. Ty!
TMIT - Your "let's play" videos are very impressive. I'm showing them to my father so that he can be a challange!
Kossin - For thou art ze king.

The save is below, it is a WB save, enabling you to choose your speed and difficulty.
Be warned, you will need to give the Barbarians techs according to your level of Difficulty. But I'm sure you know what this is.

Enjoy the Damnation.
Remember, patience. Discpline.
 

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Crappy start if there isn't more food present. Lets hope for fish in the upper right tile or irrigated corn. Scout 1SW to the plains hill should give you a better idea about the start. Or 1NW and 1N with the scout to the plains hill. Subscribed again anyways :)
 
Hoping for some seafood or grain. If there is either, it's a good start. If not, it's crappy, yes.
 
Round 1 - Stupid Human!

Bismark Zo, who ist dis other Civilization?
Sergent Kunterbunt Das ist Agustus Ceaser of ze Zulu, Kaiser.
Bismark Wer has he settled?
Sergent From our maps, we has found him in ze place he started in, Kaiser.
Spoiler :


Segent Kunterbunt We have an audience with ze Zulu's, Kaiser.
Bismark Zo, being him in!
Sergent Kunterbunt Would you like to admire your mustache first, Kaiser?
Bismark Oh Sergent Kunterbunt, you know me too well.
Spoiler :


Sergent Kunterbunt We have knowladge that zey have settled a new city!
Bismark Was?!? Zen we shall reaserch many expensive and military techs to crush him! Quickly, decrease ze Espoinage slider by 20%!
Spoiler :


Segent Kunterbunt Oh nein! Zey have built another city near our borders!
Bismark WAS?!?! Then we shall built a great wall to protect ourselfs, surely they will cower in fear before us! Lower the Espoinage by another 20%!
Spoiler :


segent Kunterbunt Sir, zey have reserched Mathematics!
Bismark Then we must tech something different and cheaper, zen trick him into trading it! Begin reaserching Pottery!
Spoiler :


Segent Kunterbunt Zey have built another city!
Bismark Why isnt the Great Wall working?!? We must quickly build another city!
Spoiler :

 
Wow. Kinda startled by the writing. Still, a very funny way to describe AI behaviour.
 
Round 2 - Preperations

Sergent Kunterbunt Kaiser, we have information that ze Zulus have settled another city!
Bismark Wer hast he settled?!?
Sergent Kunterbunt Du might want to put on your angry wig, Kaiser.
Spoiler :


Sergent Kunterbunt Sir, ze Zulu's are becoming incredibly advanced!
Bismark Was?!?! Zen we must lower the Espoinage fully! Begin reaserching Mysticism, for surely he has not reaseched such an advanced technology!
Spoiler :






Bismark (Hmmm. Prehaphs I should expand a bit more. Nein, why bother? Ze Zulu's will not be able to get past...) Flieben Sheizer!
General Kunterbunt Was is wrong?
Bismark The Zulu's have built another city, behind our borders!
Spoiler :

General Kunterbunt Was shall we do?
Bismark Begin training an army of archers! I will trade with him, lureing him into a state of safety. Zen we shall attack and destroy him once and for all! MUAHAHAHA!
Spoiler :
IMG]http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/5716/civ4screenshot0007u.jpg[/IMG]



Bismark Kunterbunt, was are these lines all over our empire?
General Kunterbuny Zey are the attack plans of ze zulu warriors, Kaiser.
Bismark Quickly, divert all our troops to an alternative area! Then they will forced to retreat, feeling pity on us!
General Bismark We should have atleast one archer though. Ozerwise we will be literally giving citys away!
Bismark Who hast ze Pointy Helmet? I DU! Now, let me do my Pointy Helmet duty's!
Spoiler :
[


Thoughts:
1) We are going to crush Bismark, as he has no Iron/Bronze to my knowladge.
2) I'm going away on a 2-day holiday with a couple of friends & Girl-friend.
3) Should I crush him? I pondered this, he is our only ally at the moment until Astronomy but he is a crap techer.
 
He has ze great light Hause. I say that is far more usefull then a few crappy techs you are going to get from him. CRUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :)
 
Ja! Crush das Rührend Bismarck! Gemein Japanisch!!!!

To ze great light Hause!
 
I was playing the next round, won the war and recorected the economy. Unfortunetly my computer over-heated and thus I must play the round again. :mad:

Expect a post tommorow. My Holiday was sweet. ;)
 
:mad::mad::mad:
My sister decided to hack my laptop and install her 'Sims 3' game onto it.
Once I found her playing it, it sooned crashed and all my stuff is gone.

Fortunetly I do have the saves and screenshots on my Memory stick, so expect a report in an hour.

The war was great! :king:
 
Why is KwaDuzuka so placed? What advantages come of a resource-less city (until Biology, that is)?
 
From the space that I had, it was the best place to put a city for blocking Bismark.
It was either that, or a craper tundra city.

But it's good now, considering we won the war and burned the Japanese city, giving us a crap load of farms.
 
This island isn't big enough for the two of us

General Kunterbunt Kaiser, ze Zulu's have declared war on us!
Bismark MUHAHAHA! They will never get past our archers. Commence cheap-qwick unit spamming!
Spoiler :


General Kunterebunt Kaiser, zey are attacking Kyoto!
Bismark WAS?!?! But I thought dis was Berlin!
General Kunterbunt Qwickly! Let us escape to ze mountains!
Spoiler :


Bismark Was ist das?
General Kunterbunt I have no idea... it looks like a hause...
Bismark What would Augustus acomplish by building Hauses?!?! HaHaHa!
Spoiler :



Bismark *sob* Ve are screwed!
General Kunterbunt Don't start shaving yet, mein fuhrher. Look at dis.
Bismark An aplication as court jester? Was are you suggesting?
General Kunterbunt That we need food. Look, we hast run out of shaving cream!
Bismark WAS?!?! Fine, we shall do this...jester job.
Spoiler :



In the Palace at Ulundi.
Augustus Ceasar Tepu induis revoltare!
Jester Bismark Was ist he saying?
Jester Kunterbunt I don't know. Just dance, Kaiser.

Augustus Ceasar (Directing his advior) Ah, Camelous Hiver. What can you report.
Camelous Hiver Well, I've painted it in these pictures.
Augustus Ceasar Wait. What's that last one?
Camelou Hiver Nothing... :mischief:
Spoiler :






Jester Bismark Why art you acting like a total knob?
Jester Kunterbunt Because if I behave wierd enough the Zulu govermunt will take care of me.
Jester Bismark Wow. Why didn't we have that in Kyoto? Wait, was are we doing in Kyoto?
Jester KunterbuntDidn't zo hear? Zey moved ze capital to here! I think zey like Lighthauses.
Spoiler :
 
:mad:

DAMMIT!

After I removed the Sims 3 which my sister installed, and re-installed my Civ IV THE DAMN SAVE DOESN'T WORK!

So I'm making a HFC - Cup 5a - Augustus' Revenge.
 
Argh, too bad, this was an interesting game. Nice revenge by your sister btw. Looks like a lively house :)
 
Indeed.
One fat younger brother, who goes into my room.
One plump sister, who enjoys annoying me.
Two parents, who quit at high-school.
And me, the only skinny person in the family, the smartest, and the only one out of the children to have a girl-friend. But I don't have my familys accent. There's is Scottish and mines English.
 
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