How Not To Negotiate Release From Captivity

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by G-Force Junkie, Dec 5, 2006.

  1. G-Force Junkie

    G-Force Junkie Old Vulcan Guy

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    Surrounded by apes from Planet of the Apes
    1. "Ok, ok, how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty stinkin ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other." <laugh>
    <guns cocked>
     
  2. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    2 If you let me go I'll give you this shiny nickel!
     
  3. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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    3."Dear TF,

    Ainwood is a jerk because he banned me for repeatedly calling Birdjaguar an utter failure of a himan being despite the massive amount of evidence I cited to the contrary (like the fact that he drones on about "god alone is" without actually amonting to anythin. I DEMAND you make him no longer mod and release me from the 3 day ban. That should teach him a bloddy lesson!"
     
  4. Junglecutter

    Junglecutter Honorable Delegate

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    4. Want to switch places? Let's see each other from the others point of view
     
  5. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    5 I can get you free tickets to a Celine Dion concert
     
  6. Fifty

    Fifty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    12. "BAAAAAAAAAAA LALALALALALALALA"

     
  7. Veritass

    Veritass Emperor

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    13. I've got $5 million dollars in the bank. If you let me go, I'll let you have $100,000 of it.
     
  8. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    8 If you let me go, I'll play you a song on my bagpipes
     
  9. Fifty

    Fifty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    15. "Ribbit Ribbit Ribbit"

     
  10. Nuka-sama

    Nuka-sama See ya! It has been a fun decade!

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    16. Let me go pleeeeaase? Pretty Please with sugar on top?
     
  11. North King

    North King blech

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    17. "Look, I have the secret that holds the future of the human race right here. Shoot me, and humanity dies with me. Go ahead, shoot."
    "Okay."
     
  12. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    12 I'll tell you how they get the caramel inside the caramilk bars

    You guys obviously can't count :p
     
  13. JonnyB

    JonnyB Workaholic

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    13. "If you don't let me go I'll lose my job as a telemarketer!"
     
  14. Fifty

    Fifty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    23. LET ME GO OR I'LL GET BLOOD ON YOUR SHIRT!




    m
     
  15. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    15 You should let me go. I don't make a very good hostage.
     
  16. JonnyB

    JonnyB Workaholic

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    16. BUT DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!??!

     
  17. Fifty

    Fifty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    31: By doing this:

     
  18. Fifty

    Fifty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    35. By trashing your captor's favorite light post

     
  19. Perfection

    Perfection The Great Head.

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    36. "Will you accept this as payment?"
     
  20. SuperBeaverInc.

    SuperBeaverInc. Groucho

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    20 If you don't let me go, I'll start singing!

    And stop screwing up the numbers
     

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