it could also mean you're doing too many things before your first settler.
It could also mean that he's doing too
few things before his first settler.
Your priority early game is quickly improving tiles and working them. You almost always want to get a worker (and often two) out before your first settler. Techs that allow you to improve and work tiles, such as animal husbandry, agriculture, or mining, are a priority. Early Religion can hurt a LOT because it often means delaying these vital techs. Generally before your first settler you want to build two things (not necessarily in this order).
1. A worker or two.
2. Something that isn't a worker or settler that will allow you to grow the city to around size 3 or 4. This something can be an extra warrior, a fishing boat, or even a
cheap early wonder such as Stonehenge or the Great Wall (it's advisable though to supplement your production through chopping forests if you go for a wonder).
It's no use building a settler for a new city if you don't have the workers to quickly improve the tiles around the new city.
For new cities, you want to take advantage of the two methods of hastening production in the early game: Slavery and Chopping forests. If possible you should always attempt to whip or chop the monument and the granary instead of relying on the production of the city to build it slowly. A note on slavery that a lot of newer players don't realize: generally slavery is more efficient the more citizens you whip at once. If you whip two citizens at a time instead of one, you get double the production but still only the single happy-face. Just make sure you have the food to grow back your city quickly.
Also on Early Defense, you want to try to rely on either axes from bronze-working or chariots from animal husbandry. What makes archery inferior is that while animal husbandry allows you to start herding, and bronze working allows you to chop and whip - archery gives you nothing but archers. It's better to try to hook up horses and bronze early then delay your tech for hunting and archery. Your other barb defense option is the great wall - and the great wall gives you a really handy early Great Spy; making it better than archery too. Also learn how to use your warriors with the terrain intelligently to fight early barbarian archers. Fortified in forests/hills - Forested hills if possible, and across rivers even.
I'm just taking some stabs in the dark though,
How bout you tell us exactly what you build until you get to your first settler and what your early teching is like?