What has worked for me, and it varies somewhat depending on how good a start you get...
I research to get a religion, usually polytheism because comps eat up the Budda heh. If I do not get Hindusim, I usually just restart...
I then research one or 2 techs I deem critical... bronze working is always one of them unless I had the rare fortune of getting it from a goody hut, then a tech to take advantage of nearby resources, possible also masonry if I have marbe near.
After that it goes priesthood, writing, alphabet. Once I get alphabet, very often first (meaning no other AI has had a chance to trade anything yet.... see the value), I start clicking from the bottom up in the rankings to trade techs. I can usually get every tech everyone has (most are much cheaper then alphabet so you can get 4 from a single AI often). I always go bottom up when trading techs, and bottom up friends first later in game. This makes the top AI's either have to do their own trades/extortions or research it.
From there I usually go to music for the free great artist, then bounce around a bit but always semi-focused on techs with freebies: physics, liberalism (a free tech!) etc. I often times pop a great prophet early (depending on how much forest around/do I have marble I will chop rush a Stonehenge with a Parthenon shortly after - hence bronze working early), that usually nets me 2 religions and 2 chances to spread the monastaries around plus whatever monastaries the AI religion infects my empire with. If I cant get a free religion, I build my religion's temple to seriously start the spreading if any empires are close.
I will lag sometimes just before/after I do the Music thing, mainly because I am hopefully focusing on taking barabarian cities with 3 or 4 swordsman each and/or making my own and garrisoning them. I can hold my own by going after highly valued techs usually through this period but may fall in the rankings.
As said earlier, build those cottages early, I usually try and get at least 4-5 core cities and all of them will have 3 or 4 cottages minimum if I have space. If your playing a financial empire, even better. Getting enough resources for health and happiness early is critical, if your stopping to build aquas and colloseums (not to mention having to use the happy slider AT ALL) your hamstringing yourself.
Doing the above, I am usually in the top 2-3 techwise most of the game. Sometimes I fall a bit, sometimes things really go my way and I will be first for a long stretch.
This has worked well on emp, on diety heh, not so well... I make it to alphabet first rarely and get alot less for it often. And I will restart often on emp, if your a purist who goes with what you got and no restarts... good luck... resources are KING in this game, much moreso then previously, if you do not get a goodly amount, it is probably a lost cause on any higher level.