Husbandless Harpies Harass Herman

[Miles Teg]

So Herman Cain has some slight perception issues related to the fact that he's apparently attempted to sleep with every woman he could find.

But it's okay, because Mrs. Cain has taken the lead in developing a section of his website for women to write in letters declaring that they don't believe the accusations against him, and that Herman Cain is the most pro-women candidate ever. Presumably, the back of the letter has these women's phone number and the words "Call Me!", but these haven't been published.

But it's festooned with a picture of real Cain supporters, so there's that.

Quote time! Unfortunately, the second of these was taken down for some unfathomable reason, but it's been reproduced all over the internet.

Mrs. Cain, I'm so very sorry for the pain you've had to suffer at the hands of these seriously troubled women and those behind them. Such an elegant lady as you should never have to deal with such scum. My prayers are with you and Mr. Cain. I have no doubt Herman Cain is the person we need to restore our country to its God-blessed glory!"

Dear Mrs. Cain Don't pay attention to these pathetic husbandless women who are jealous of women like you in happy long-term marriages. These vindictive women can't find a husband or keep one. They are like stalkers who try to latch on to any man who shows a bit of kindness or attention to them. When these unstable women come out of the woodwork to make accusations about Herman just say, "Honey, get a life, I believe my husband." We want you to be our First Lady Mrs. Cain!"

Now, the obvious question? Should pathetic women who are unable to find a husband be allowed to make spurious accusations that besmirch the character of pillars of the community like Herman Cain?

 

[JollyRoger]

No wonder Cain got so flustered with the Libya question. He thought the question related to a part of the female anatomy and was wondering which harpie had come out of the woodwork this time.

 

[amadeus]

No wonder Cain got so flustered with the Libya question. He thought the question related to a part of the female anatomy and was wondering which harpie had come out of the woodwork this time.

He was also asked about the whereabouts of the next G7 meeting and was unable to correctly recall the location of the G7 spot.

 

[holy king]

i have no idea who herman cain is, but i, for one, have never trusted husbandless women either.

 

[JollyRoger]

Obviously these white devils want to meld their 6-6-6-iness with poor Herman's 9-9-9 plan.

 

[amadeus]

Being an executive for as long as Cain has, is it really a surprise to learn he is very well skilled in asset stripping?

 

[emzie]

You could take the title a bit further:

Husbandless Harpie Harem Harasses Herman

 

[GamezRule]

Add "Horribly" at the end of that.

 

[Skwink]

It'd be funny to put "Horrible" in front of "Herman".

 

[GamezRule]

Horrid Husbandless Harpie Harem Harass Horrible Herman

 

[Miles Teg]

Horrid Husbandless Harpie Harem Harass Horrible Herman

Doeesn't make sense on two counts.

First of all, the singular form of harpies is harpy (but that's contre's goof)

Secondly, Herman Cain is in no way horrible. After reading his website, I learned that THEHerman Cain" ("aka the HERMINATOR") is "America's only hope", a "man with vision", and "the answer to millions of prayers" who we should support because he "isn't a slick debater" (something I very much agree with), and who has been unfairly attack by "Demonacrats".

You wouldn't happen to be a Demonacrat, would you?

 

[Cutlass]

Doeesn't make sense on two counts.

First of all, the singular form of harpies is harpy (but that's contre's goof)

Secondly, Herman Cain is in no way horrible. After reading his website, I learned that THEHerman Cain" ("aka the HERMINATOR") is "America's only hope", a "man with vision", and "the answer to millions of prayers" who we should support because he "isn't a slick debater" (something I very much agree with), and who has been unfairly attack by "Demonacrats".

You wouldn't happen to be a Demonacrat, would you?

You've been Hermanated.

 

[Crezth]

Doeesn't make sense on two counts.

First of all, the singular form of harpies is harpy (but that's contre's goof)

Secondly, Herman Cain is in no way horrible. After reading his website, I learned that THEHerman Cain" ("aka the HERMINATOR") is "America's only hope", a "man with vision", and "the answer to millions of prayers" who we should support because he "isn't a slick debater" (something I very much agree with), and who has been unfairly attack by "Demonacrats".

You wouldn't happen to be a Demonacrat, would you?

Damn Demonacrats! So mean to the Herminator!

 

[GoodGame]

This would make a great commercial like the one's where he smiles. Like 8 seconds after they announce the Harpies, he then smiles.

 

[emzie]

(but that's contre's goof)

There's no such thing!

 

[Artifis]

I think the Republicans will need to wait a little while longer before they get their black president.