Well written post, although I don't agree with the final verdict.
To be blunt, I don't think that any reinvention of the game would save it for you, because ... well ... you seem to be looking for some "childhood magic" that you just can't get any more as an adult. That's not meant to be offensive, it's something that I've experienced myself on a number of occasions.
When Civ1 came out 15 years ago, I was much, much easier to impress (and to satisfy). For example, I played it for years before I even noticed how horribly the AI was cheating, and even when I found out, I just shrugged. For Civ4, I find myself designing testbeds with the world builder to see whether the AI plays fair. I know much more about computers, games, game design etc. now than I did 15 years ago. The AI didn't *feel* like a cheating idiot back then because I didn't know how to unmask it. Today, I see behind the mask. Playing Civ1 isn't much fun any more for me.
I think the same happened to you. When you first encountered Civ1, it didn't *feel* like a giant database because you didn't have enough knowledge to spot the database behind the mask. But every strategy game is such a database at heart. There's no way for you to "unlearn" your knowledge, and there's no way how any game can ever bring you back the magic of the days when you couldn't see behind the mask.
In a way it's a Santa Claus effect - as a child, not knowing the truth behind the mask, you can experience the magic. But after learning that it's just your uncle in strange clothing, there's no way going back. You may still enjoy the performance for what it is, but the magic will be gone.
I think you've just grown up.
Personally, I don't think I'll ever grow up this way. I know that games are just numbers and databases. But I still have no difficulties immersing myself in a game's world. I think I'll never stop playing these games.