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IdIOT II: Electric Boogaloo

Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by NinjaCow64, Nov 2, 2018.

  1. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    Map. Made some changes to claims for aesthetic and balance reasons. If I've made what looks like a mistake please contact me.

    @Terran Empress Reduced the number of hell portals for game balance reasons.

    @Ailedhoo I just realised I borked your claims, they'll be fixed in the final version.
     
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  2. e350tb

    e350tb Stupendously Illogical Englishman

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    Location:
    The Britcave
    *looks at Talon*

    *looks at me*

    *looks at Papua New Guniea*

    This is going to go well.
     
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  3. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

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    unless Hirohito owns the Sea of Azov :think:

    Also it's Sturm, unless you're RPing as CG. :mischief:

    Would you like some "corn", tavarysh?
     
  4. Omega124

    Omega124 Challenging Fate

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    Can you please change my color to the blue I used in my sign up?
     
  5. Nuka-sama

    Nuka-sama See ya! It has been a fun decade!

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    What is this
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
  6. Kinich-Ahau

    Kinich-Ahau #JustGoomyThings

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    Cheers
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
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  7. Danwar

    Danwar Warlord

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    note that I have dramatically changed my signup

    please rereview it and adjust your plans accordingly
     
  8. GenMarshall

    GenMarshall High Elven Ghost Agent

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    New Suramar City, Vekta, United Terran Systems
    More to add to the roster


    Calista Gennifer Starwind
    High Concept:
    The Commando
    Trouble: Brainwahsed/memory whiped to rid of the past memories of pre-Talon events
    Primary Approach: Covert
    Scale: Personal (0)
    Consequences: None
    Stunt:
    Widowbyte Main:
    +2 in combat while assisting Widow or Sombra

    General Hank Dornan
    High Concept:
    General for Talon
    Trouble: Has a habit of raising his voice
    Primary Approach: Force
    Scale: Personal (0)
    Consequences: None
    Stunt:
    The Hands on General:
    While attached to a military unit, gains a +2 advantage/outcome for the duration of the turn.

    Death Troopers
    High Concept:
    Organizarion of Personal Bodyguards
    Trouble: Incomprehensible while wearing helmets
    Primary Approach: Force
    Scale: Small (1)
    Consequences: None
    Stunt:
    The Guard:
    Adds +2 for defense to any person or asset they’re assigned to

    Talon Troopers
    High Concept:
    Main Ground Forces of Talon
    Trouble: Talon’s Version of the Imperial Stormtroopers
    Primary Approach: Force
    Scale: Huge Huge (3)
    Consequences: None

    Talon Aquatic Navy
    High Concept:
    Naval Force for Talon
    Trouble: Can’t go on land
    Primary Approach: Force
    Scale: Huge (3)
    Consequences: None
     
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  9. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    I am going to have limited internet access until the 22nd (Australian time). I had hoped to release update zero by now, but various factors have made that impossible. So I am extending signup lock until the 22nd and I will try to release update zero ASAP when I get back. Sorry everyone.
     
  10. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    Most recent map, reflecting drops and changed signups. I've added in most of the Demon Portals back in, for the record they exist in the following places (and I've got the nations they border so you know if you need to worry about them or not). Note that I'm terrible at geography so I'm going to flub a lot of the names.
    • Darvaza gas crater (Soviet Union)
    • China #1
    • China #2
    • The one in Japan (Nobu's Empire)
    • The one in Indonesia (Talon)
    • Hawaii
    • Mexico #1 (MAGA, UUC)
    • Mexico #2 (MAGA, Serene Canterbury)
    • The one in South America
    • Greenland
    • The one in Africa
    • Michigan (UUC, Black Hole)
    • Pennsylvania (UUC, Black Hole)
    • The one in Ireland (Ylisse)
    • Rome (Canterbury)
    • The one in Turkey (Canterbury, Turkey)
    • The one near the Soviet Union (Canterbury, Soviet Union)
    Anyway, if there any mistakes/problems in the map please let me know sooner rather than later because there are only 60 hours until orders lock. Please get your signups 100% by then.
     
  11. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

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    This is pretty good.

    Only one thing...

    YOU FORGOT THE PICKLES!!

     
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  12. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    Why am I so bad at map? This will be fixed in the final version.
     
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  13. Gurra09

    Gurra09 First Consul

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    Türkey ış dröppınğ öüt, şörry.
     
  14. Danwar

    Danwar Warlord

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    Male
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    Right under your nose
    Canterbury successor state: *drops out*

    Me:

    Claims.PNG
     
  15. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    I'm going to come in like Tamami Kobayashi here and activate the lock.

    holy moley is that a motherflipping jojo reference
     
  16. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

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  17. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    UPDATE ZERO – 3000 A.D

    STATS


    Fast-N-Furious-O-Meter: Not Fast or Furious

    Spoiler le map :




    NEWS FROM ZA WORLDO

    Spoiler :
    Hell’s Invasion of Earth Sydney, Hell

    Breaking news! Hell (or more accurately a faction within Hell) is invading Earth through conveniently placed hell portals. Join Update News (your one and only new source during this cataclysm) as we give you accurate information on the hell portals from the GM with the geographical ability of Christopher Columbus. There are hell portals open in the following locations:
    • Darvaza gas crater (Soviet Union)
    • China #1
    • China #2
    • The one in Japan (Nobu's Empire)
    • The one in Indonesia (Talon)
    • Hawaii
    • Mexico #1 (MAGA, UUC)
    • Mexico #2 (MAGA, Serene Canterbury)
    • The one in South America
    • Greenland
    • The one in Africa
    • Michigan (UUC, Black Hole)
    • Pennsylvania (UUC, Black Hole)
    • The one in Ireland (Ylisse)
    • Rome (Canterbury)
    • The one in Turkey (Canterbury)
    • The one near the Soviet Union (Canterbury, Soviet Union)
    Legions of demons are pouring out of them. The question remains, can they be negotiated with or will the nations of Earth have to hack them to pieces?


    AMERICAS

    Spoiler :
    Giant Toblerone Shortage in Neo Yokio Neo Yokio, Black Hole

    Due to the non-existence of Switzerland, there is a giant Toblerone shortage. As in people can’t get the giant-sized Toblerones, there are still plenty of normal sized ones. This has hit the city of Neo Yokio the hardest. If something is not done soon then there could be riots!

    A Pretender Rises! Santiago, Draconic Thunder

    As dragons are quite egotistical creatures, power struggles are quite common in draconic areas. Draconic Thunder is no exception, a new dragon has thrown his proverbial hat in the ring to become ruler. Dlanod is a young, cocky upstart of a dragon who thinks himself king. Despite his tiny claws, he is quite a charismatic dragon. If he is not dealt with, he could prove a major challenge to the powers-that-be.

    Doctors Flee the Caravan! Dallas, Texas, The Caravan

    Among the professional white people fleeing radical leftist persecution in the Caravan are doctors. White doctors fled enmasse as they realised that they’ll have to participate in the radical Communist Obamacare program where they will be forced to give medical treatment on the level of Cuba. Without doctors, the people of the Caravan are getting sick. The Immortal Chairman Soros better find a way to replace these doctors otherwise the Caravan could have an epidemic on their hands.

    Dammit Veronica why can’t you date a nice guy like me? Virgin Islands, EPIC Gamers

    The EPIC Gamers were Facebook stalking Veronica and they saw that she was with Chad for New Years and dammit Veronica why can’t you date a nice guy like me? The EPIC Gamers are super bummed out about this and if they aren’t cheered up soon, they might start performing hate crimes during heated gaming moments.

    Make Mexico Great Again! Mexico City, HUUUUYGE TRUMPIAN MAGAtopian Republic

    The Mexicans are still not thrilled about Trump wholesale taking over their country. They are so not thrilled that they are organising a Mexican National Militia to kick Trump out. It’s time for Trump to take out the trash.

    The Test is Tomorrow!?!?!?!?!?! Los Angeles, lo fi hip hop radio

    What do you mean the test is tomorrow!? Everyone in California is freaking out as all their exams are scheduled on the exact same day, tomorrow! They better get knuckling down or they might fail and if they fail then their mothers will ground them. Oof.

    Skeletor is a [tier-2 swearword] Snake Mountain, United Uznahgar Clans

    Skeletor has made residence in the lands of the United Uznahgar Clans and plans to do bad things to the people in the countryside. Will the United Uznahgar Clans be able to stop him without the help of He-Man? Find out next time on IdIOT II!


    ASIA AND OCEANIA

    Spoiler :
    Corrupted Gem Horde: Beach City, the Republic of Beach City

    A horde of corrupted gems are barrelling towards Beach City! Will the Crystal Gems (or the state apparatuses that they now control) be able to save the day?

    Time Travelling Akechi Mitsuhide: Kyoto, Nobu’s Empire

    Akechi Mitsuhide appeared in Nobu’s court today using his (forwards only) time travel machine and declared that he will finish the job that he started in Hono-ji. He then ran out of the Imperial Palace, laughing an evil laugh. Although Ninja hasn’t played F/GO JP and doesn’t know what Akechi Mitsuhide deal is in that, he does know enough to make Akechi Mitsuhide a credible threat that the Nobu Empire will have to deal with.

    Anarcho-Capitalist Commune: Bandar Seri Begawan, Talon

    “Might Makes Right” is the foundational ideology of Talon and this ideology makes Talon very attractive to Anarcho-Capitalists. Setting up a commune in Borneo, as they are Anarcho-Capitalists they are going to be a major annoyance for Talon until they are dealt with.

    Living Underground New Delhi, Zombieland

    Having living, non-necromancer subjects is an unfortunate nessecity for Zombieland. The undead are too stupid for all but the most menial of labour and Necromancers are too valuable for the tasks that they need humans for. The living, for some unfathomable reason, generally dislike being ruled by the Necromancers. So much so that they’ve set up yet another anti-Necromancer resistance cell called “The Living Underground”. Oh well, more corpses for the corpse pile I guess.


    CANTERBURY

    Spoiler :
    James the Invader Canterbury, Canterbury

    There are many claimants to the Canterbury Imperial Throne. One of them is James Luthor, a charismatic young lad hailing from North Africa. The rumours that he had a large empire down there turned out to be an exaggeration, but he is gaining a following. He should be stopped before he poses too large a challenge to the true Emperor.

    Dice Debates Palermo, Church of the Gamemaster

    Religions often get into stupid arguments about dumb things that nobody else really cares about. This year for the Church of the Gamemaster – what is the Gamemaster’s favourite types of dice? D4? D6? D10? D20? D100? There are many different factions all advocating for different ideas. Danwar should intervene in this issue quickly before the debates escalate from angry words into self-destructive violence.

    Mapo Tofu in the Imperial Diet Canterbury, Holy Canterbury Empire

    The Electors of the Holy Canterbury Empire have unanimously approved to add cripplingly hot Mapo Tofu to the Imperial Diet. The priest smiles. This is causing many issues as the Mapo Tofu is hurting peoples’ mouths and people are generally having a bad time. One thing is certain, these boys need some milk, or perhaps a change of diet.

    Medicine Shortage in Serene Canterbury Canterbury, Serene Canterbury

    Unfortunately for Serene Canterburians, many functions of life must be done on the land. To cope with daily life, Serene Canterburians take landsickness medicine. However, known worst-girl Martin Shkreli has stolen the landsickness medicine reserve! Queen Anne I must fix this problem quickly, lest her subjects be permanently afflicted by crippling nausea.


    EUROPE AND USSR

    Spoiler :
    Ylisse’s Impending Economic Problem Ylisstol, Halidom of Ylisse

    Grand Exchequer Anna has noticed an economic problem that is of urgent concern. The Halidom of Ylisse relied heavily on foreign economic interaction (during her many wars this usually took the form of smuggling and looting as opposed to conventional trade) to keep her economy sailing smoothly. With their recent transport to another dimension, they have lost all of their...“trading partners”. To make matters worse, few groups are interested in trading in the things that Ylisse needs or buying what she produces due to the massive technological disparity they have with the rest of the world. Exalt Lucina will need to find some way to fix this problem or risk apocalyptic economic collapse.

    No Gulag November 2999 (Gone Wrong) (Gone Revisionist) Kiev, Krushevriech

    As part of No Gulag November 2999, all inmates were released from all Gulags on the proviso that they would return to Gulag on the first of December. However, none of them did. It is now January and all the inmates are running around doing revisionist things. How can we stop this mess without breaking the sacred tradition of No Gulag November?

    Trouble with Human Integration Canterlot, Union of Equestria and the Crystal Empire

    The Princesses are having trouble integrating the human population in their domains. Their bipedal nature and their lack of proficiency in magic leaves them in an extremely awkward position within the now equine-dominated society. Both human and non-human subjects are petitioning the princesses to deal with this problem. If action is not taken soon then this could likely escalate into widespread racial tension.

    Malfunctioning Robots Moscow, United Socialist Soviet Republics

    The people of the USSR hate hard work. Socialism was supposed to phase out work in favour of Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism anyway. Its for this reason that regular maintenance hasn’t been performed on the robots. This is bad news as the lack of maintenance is causing them to malfunction. Josephina Stalin better start cracking some whips otherwise Fully Automated might turn into Not Automated At All.


    HELL

    Spoiler :
    Criticism from Giraffe Satan Sydney, Hell

    The expedition to Earth has many detractors in the infinite hells, a prominent one being Giraffe Satan from Giraffe Hell.

    “Why should we waste bringing human souls to Hell when we could bring giraffe souls instead?” Giraffe Satan asked rhetorically during a press conference. Although to most demons a soul is a soul, Giraffe Satan is notoriously picky. Regardless, he has major kudos within the Lower Powers for running an exceptionally tight shop. The Earth Expedition better find a way to deal with this pest before the Lower Powers decide to cut their budget.


    ****************​

    Wowee that was a doozy. A few GM notes:

    I gave you all a starting compel event based off of your trouble to make the Turn Zero update less bland. If there's an enemy bad guy mentioned in the trouble event, they're likely going to be listed in "Minor NPCs". You all get an extra Fate Point to compensate for this. You can make this event a lot less painful by paying a Fate Point, or spend two Fate Points to make it go away entirely. All compel events will work like this in the future also.

    Because 99% of players only have one or two military units, I've decided that I'll allow people to split larger units into fronts. Each time you split a unit, you get two units of one lower Scale but now they can go help out in two different locations. This will happen automatically if you stumble into a multi-front war. These units can't go below Small (1) scale.

    Orders lock on the 5th (Canberra time, 4th for Yanks). Have fun everyone!
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
  18. Thorvald of Lym

    Thorvald of Lym A Little Sketchy

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    What's the quota on actions? Is it one per unit across the board or is there a general limit?
     
  19. NinjaCow64

    NinjaCow64 Thought Bubble Thinker Supporter

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    One per unit across the board. However, I’ll allow you to split larger units into smaller units in the procedures outlined in the GM notes.
     
  20. Danwar

    Danwar Warlord

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    The New Calendar

    The old Gregorian calendar used by the Christian heathens for centuries has countless flaws. For example, it starts itself off with an innacurate date for the birth of an average child - a stonemason in fact. Why would one base off their calendar start year off the birth of an arbitrary stonemason - off the wrong date for that man's birth, for the Gamemaster's sake!? This stupidity must be rectified by the Gamemaster's sacred truth - Year 0 should be placed upon the Calamity, for now is the greatest turning point in the history of man. The slate is wiped clean just as countless daemons and other magical beings spill forth onto this world. In addition, the days themselves are messed up: who in their right mind wants to use a calendar hat varies from 28 to 31 days? The Church has rectified this with mathematics and intense study:September, December, November, and August will have thirty-one days, while all the rest will have thirty. In addition, the leap day will now be on January, so as to ensure that people will immediately know if it is a leap year or not when they see the first January.

    It is not 3,000 AD (or ACE as some prefer to call it), but it is

    TURN 0

    0 PC
    (PC means Post-Calamity)
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018
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