If you thought that marrying a dog was weird...

[Che Guava]

...well, this speaks for itself...

Bike sex man placed on probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

link

See Bozo? now we can laugh at westerners too!

 

[Mowque]

Nice (10chars)

 

[Brighteye]

If it was in his room, why did he get charged with those offences?

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

This shouldn't be illegal. Sure it is a strange sex toy but I don't see the harm in this.

 

[Che Guava]

If it was in his room, why did he get charged with those offences?

I think because it was in a hotel room....

 

[Damnyankee]

This shouldn't be illegal. Sure it is a strange sex toy but I don't see the harm in this.

Holy crap, I agree with a Nazi!

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I think because it was in a hotel room....

Yeah, there are rules against engaging in sex acts in a hotel room.

Wait . . .

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

I don't see what the crime was as long as it was his own bicycle.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

No, there are rules against parking your bike in a hotelroom.

I wonder what this guy's feelings towards motorbikes are.

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

Holy crap, I agree with a Nazi!

Well atleast I like ron paul

 

[Photi]

getting put on the sex offenders register for 3 years seems way too harsh...that pretty much screws you.

 

[Catharsis]

Maybe the bicycle was a prostitute.

...pedalling its wares on the streets of Ayr.

 

[Che Guava]

Yeah, there are rules against engaging in sex acts in a hotel room.

Wait . . .

Maybe because it was obvious to those involved that he knew that the cleaning staff was coming in...or maybe it has something to do with the fact that he was on the sexual offenders' registry/..?

Frankly, I have no idea! Maybe the cops figured it was just too weird not to charge him with something!

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

Maybe the bicycle was a prostitute.

...pedalling its wares on the streets of Ayr.

Nevertheless, I think we should still give the guy a brake.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I can't really get a handle on the situation if it comes to puns; you spoke too soon.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

"The victim was found in the room tired, inflated and chained"
- The bicycle's spokesperson

 

[Damnyankee]

Well atleast I like ron paul

But your a Rudy supporter.

 

[Mirc]

What is illegal in "having sex with" a bike? I mean it is legal to use a sex toy, right?

 

[AL_DA_GREAT]

But your a Rudy supporter.

I was before I knew who ron Paul was. I am a hard core ron paul fan.

 

[Che Guava]

I was before I knew who ron Paul was. I am a hard core ron paul fan.

Gentlemen, please! We're trying to discuss the implications of having relations with bicycles. Take that dirty political talk outside!