If You Were A Dictator, Who Would Be Your Evil Partner?

[CurtSibling]

Alo-ha!

In recent days, ENEMY ACE™ has noticed an alarming increase in angry and sad threads moaning about politics and religion…SNORE!

I wish to help reverse this trend since it is holiday season and you should all be fertilising! So I have came up with a new and silly instalment for the much ignored “If you were a Dictator” series…behold!

IF YOU WERE A DICTATOR, WHO WOULD BE YOUR EVIL PARTNER?

I will give 20 choices, 10 for the gents, and 10 for the ladees!
No sexual inequality here!
So pick your fave evil countess or if you’re a female tyrant, pick your fave manservant!

1 to 10 is for thr lads...
11 to 20 for the girls...

Feel free to pick any you want though...there are no restrictions!

If you have some-one else mind, tell us your dream flunkey/sidekick!

Get dreaming!

 

[Mikoyan]

Definately a freaky Goth Vamp chick!

 

[amadeus]

Chinese temptress...mmm...

 

[Becka]

Evil partner?! I don't need and evil partner! I have enough evil to spare.

But I'm pleased to made the list with gender equality in mind.

 

[goodyhut]

Mini me!

 

[FearlessLeader2]

Heh, gotta love those military gals in thigh-high stilletto heeled boots with the really open minds...

Don't look at me like that, so far I'm in the majority, you freaks!!

 

[ComradeDavo]

Personally I just go for the quite and sweet types...no evil involved..she'd be like my good concious in some wired twisted turn of fate:crazyeyes

 

[King of England]

On the one part, I'm not all that evil, so I would appreciate a sweet, sensible voice of reason...

However, I just couldn't say no to the kinky uniform chick....

As dictator, I'm in charge of uniform design, remember?

 

[Six]

Ah, I would be at my happiest with a sexy but mad sorceress at my side.

Wands? HAH! My sorceress and I can manipulate energy with our bare hands, like any good mage! Harry Potter can go **** himself, I'm running the show now!

P.S. If you ask me who I am, I will be SO pissed off!

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by Six
Ah, I would be at my happiest with a sexy but mad sorceress at my side.

Wands? HAH! My sorceress and I can manipulate energy with our bare hands, like any good mage! Harry Potter can go **** himself, I'm running the show now!

P.S. If you ask me who I am, I will be SO pissed off!

I had a look at your profile and you are quite the enigma, eh?

Are you any relation to my fellow Glasgow ned, Sixchan?

PS
I agree with you on the sorceress!

 

[Hamlet]

Ah, the agony of choice! I think mabye the Countess.

 

[Apollo]

Originally posted by King of England
However, I just couldn't say no to the kinky uniform chick....

Anything involving the use of clothing with my evil partner is out of the question.

I think the evil sorceress is the one for me. And Six(chan), I take it you don't like "Harry Pothead and the Stoned Sorcerer?"

 

[Simon Darkshade]

"Harry Potter can go **** himself, I'm running the show now!"
Now this means war!!!
You are insulting the imaginery boy wizard I love!!!

Tsk, Scotsmen....

As to the choice of consort, I cannot in good faith select any from that list. None of the first ten are even vaguely interesting, and most of the males are quite disturbing as well, even 'Hans'...
So, the solution is a clone, one eighth the size... no wait, that's been done before. Dang!
I have no great desire to plumb the depths of my predilections, so I will thumb my nose at the social norms of other evil dictators, and reign alone! Now that is truly evil...

 

[duke o' york]

You all seem to be concetrating on the aesthetic side of a sidekick, which could prove to be a mistake when your fortress is stormed by the forces of good.
If I was ever waylaid by a particularly nasty chill, or had an icky stomach after eating too many souls, then I can't think of anyone better to manage my evil empire than Simon Darkshade. I can't imagine that he'd be too willing to be an underling, but I'm sure some kind of powersharing agreement could be reached. We could alternate ruling the world with playing Civ, each taking alternate days off or something. He can wear whatever he likes, although having said that I now realise that he would probably turn up in one of the outfits above. I wouldn't care, because I'd be spending my days off in bed with Civ (she's quite a looker) and I'd never see what he would wear anyway. I can have a day ruling the world and then the next day I can relax, safe in the knowledge that our empire will be well-run in my absence. That's what you need in an evil partner!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Sounds good, duke. You watch my back, and I'll watch yours.
I shall turn up for work dressed as Geoffrey Boycott badly disguised as a great auk.

 

[duke o' york]

I'll be the one waiting under the clock with the pink carnation in his buttonhole and the Merv Hughes facial hair.

 

[Six]

Now this means war!!!
You are insulting the imaginery boy wizard I love!!!

Oh come on. Who is more powerful, Gandalf, Saruman, A level 50 Mage with all the high-level spells, or Harry Potter and co.?

Harry Potter uses a wand, and all the rest use staffs. Since the others are more powerful, staff-wielding mages are much more powerful than sappy kids with wussy wands.

 

[The Balrog]

My evil partner??? HA!

I laugh at evil partners!

I could just use my magic power to summon some Demons.....

Of course a Hot Sorceress could get quite fun.

 

[Kefka]

I would want a little egore lab assistant type person!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

A, my dear Six(chan), your analysis reveals a subconscious bias towards men with long things...
You forget its not the size that matters, but how you use it
Not every wizard wields a staff- Merlin, Vanamoinnen and Solomon of legend did not use wands or staves as a rule.
Neither does Rand al' Thor for that matter, or his alter ego of sorts Lews Therin Telamon.

Harry defeated the most powerful evil wizard in the world without a wand, staff or even teeth. You may have your opinion on wands, but Harry is mine and you cannot touch him! I have to have someone to serve the tea, after I beat my last servant to death...

I would not go for one evil partner, but rather my powersharing arrangement with the Duke, along with my bevy of famous servants to serve the tea and perform "Blithe Spirit" for my entertainment.