If you were in control of GEORGE W BUSH, what would you do?

[CurtSibling]

ENEMY ACE™ has a conundrum for all you chaps and chapattis.

Since everyone likes these “If you were…” threads, here is one that
Was bound to be inevitable…

If you were in control of GEORGE W BUSH, what would you do?

I want to hear your plan for what you would do as the chief executive of the USA.

Bomb Iraq?
End poverty?
Ask Dad for advice?
Influence the UN?
Play golf?

ENEMY ACE™ hands you a remote control…

HE IS IN YOUR HANDS!

 

[BlueMonday]

If I were George W. Bush I'd find a pretty young whitehouse intern and teach her all the fun ways to use a cigar.

 

[CornMaster]

I'd put him back in the crib where he belongs.

 

[Ohwell]

I would send him to grammar school and force him to be a car salesman.

 

[Kefka]

I would make him go down in history as the first American President to commit suicide

 

[Globber]

I would make him be the First president to join the Socialist party and instill state rule onto the nation, and then commiting suicide a few years later, creating total chaos and allowing Canada to invade and start their reign as a world superpower.

 

[amadeus]

These aren't going to be popular, but here is what I'd do:

Permanently withdraw from the United Nations, expel all United Nations diplomats. The U.N. is a threat to national sovergnity.

Place 50,000 soldiers on the Mexican border. Declare the border a "free-fire" zone.

Dissolve the IRS, place a national flat sales tax of 13% on all goods.

Make all federal documentation (except for the INS) in English only. The INS will use Spanish, Portuguese, French, German, Italian, Polish, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, and Persian.

Make standardized Presidential electoral ballots.

Halt and evaluate all educational visas from Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and Egypt.

Recognize Taiwan as an invidual nation, not breakaway province of the People's Republic of China.

End corporate and non-disability welfare. Replace it with a temporary unemployment compensation system.

Halt foriegn aid to Yasir Arafat, demand that he act against the terrorist problem.

Install pro-Western governments in Iraq and Iran, begin modernizing Iranian and Iraqi economy.

Stop funding public television and radio.

End sanctions against Cuba. Castro's old enough to know that Cuba will go pro-Western after he dies.

Build ballistic missile sheild covering the United States, Taiwan, and South Korea.

Cut Commonwealth status to Puerto Rico. Let them make their own nation.

Consolidate FBI and CIA into a single agency. Keep the best agents, fire the bureaucrats.

Make defense spending first order of budget.

Fully privatize Social Security. The government has too much control over tax money as it is -- let professionals get do it and it right.

Withdraw from all treaties signed by the United States and now defunct Soviet Union. Renegotiate and rewrite any important ones. Use ABM Treaty as Kleenex.

 

[CurtSibling]

Bush may be a bit dense, but he's probably a 'swell guy'.

Now let's see, I activate the 'Bush Control' remote...

In the morning I would make sure George is seen in a Jacuzzi with
A gang of coke-snorting hookers...

In the afternoon it would be onto live TV transmitting to the
Whole southern US Bible belt...showing scenes of George having
A booze-up with notorious death-metal band, Deicide.

What a hoot Dubya is having!

At tea time, as the Chief is making a Live address to the nation,
I would make him give rude gestures then throw up all over
Jerry Springer, during an interview...

It's about time someone was sick on Jerry!

At night the nation could tune in to a live broadcast as George
Patrols the seedy areas of Washington DC in his limo.
George gives live commentary as he reveals his hobby of being
A pimp! His celebrity hookers are Jennifer Anniston and Michelle Geller!

Now that’s TV viewing!
The US public will love it!
Bush would make a fine automaton!

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by rmsharpe
These aren't going to be popular, but here is what I'd do:
Withdraw from all treaties signed by the United States and now defunct Soviet Union. Renegotiate and rewrite any important ones. Use ABM Treaty as Kleenex.

I only have a problem with this one.

Rmsharpe.
Repeat this mantra after me;

"Russia gave up communism in 1990-91"
"Russia is a democratic capitalist nation"
"Russia is an ally of the the West and USA"
"Russia has no threatening stance towards the USA"
"Russia backs the war on Terrorism"
"USA and Russia in a nuclear war is fantasy"

Say it until the truth sinks in.
And a feeling of peace and harmony will fill you.

 

[dannyevilcat]

Permanently withdraw from the United Nations, expel all United Nations diplomats. The U.N. is a threat to national sovergnity.

and

Install pro-Western governments in Iraq and Iran, begin modernizing Iranian and Iraqi economy.

I'd like to draw to your attention that the second plan is a "threat to national sovereignty" of those countries.
I find this double standard incredibly amusing.

 

[amadeus]

It's not a double standard when you act in your own interests, which I'd be doing.

 

[hothead2]

I would nuke Iraq and threaten Comedy Central to play nonstop "Thats my Bush" for a week or they would be next!

 

[CornMaster]

As usual....rmsharpe, I think your full of bull****.

Well...not really...but I don't like most of your ideas...and I'll say why...(And I'll also note the ones I agree with and why. )

Permanently withdraw from the United Nations, expel all United Nations diplomats. The U.N. is a threat to national sovergnity.

That has to be the stupidest idea I've EVER heard. Sure...lets pull out of the United Nations of the World. Probably the biggest international organization in the world...sure. Let's totally cut ourself off.

Place 50,000 soldiers on the Mexican border. Declare the border a "free-fire" zone.

Well...I can't disagree...it would effectivly stem illegal Mixican Immigrants....but it wouldn't be viewed favoribly by ANYONE else.

Dissolve the IRS, place a national flat sales tax of 13% on all goods.

Doesn't the IRS deal with Income tax? What implications would that have?

Make all federal documentation (except for the INS) in English only. The INS will use Spanish, Portuguese, French, German, Italian, Polish, Russian, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, and Persian.

Don't remember what INS stands for. But I can't disagree here either....it would make the country a better place if everyone spoke English well.

Make standardized Presidential electoral ballots.

Hell Yes.

Halt and evaluate all educational visas from Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and Egypt.

I think that not fair at all. Labeling all these countries as "full of terroists" is VERY bad. AKA Japanese of WWII.

Recognize Taiwan as an invidual nation, not breakaway province of the People's Republic of China.

I thought Taiwan was already considered it's own Nation?

End corporate and non-disability welfare. Replace it with a temporary unemployment compensation system.

You would have to go into more detail before I can agree/disagree.

Halt foriegn aid to Yasir Arafat, demand that he act against the terrorist problem.

Hummm......that's a tough one.....Probably...

Install pro-Western governments in Iraq and Iran, begin modernizing Iranian and Iraqi economy.

Modernizing the economy is fine....but installing a pro-west government is excatly what the communists did in Eastern Europe...and most people didn't like that. (Pro-Communist government)

Stop funding public television and radio.

Hummm....another tough one.....I really pro public things...so I'd have to disagree.

End sanctions against Cuba. Castro's old enough to know that Cuba will go pro-Western after he dies.

I agree....but not for the same reasons that you do.

Build ballistic missile sheild covering the United States, Taiwan, and South Korea.

Now....you all know how I feel about "missile shields" So I won't go there. Let me just say....another totally bone-head idea. Prone to failure, doomed to fail and be the biggest waste of tax payers money of all time. Plus...protecting South Korea and Taiwan is stupid. Make immediate enemies of North Korea (I know...they hate the US already. ) and China.

Cut Commonwealth status to Puerto Rico. Let them make their own nation.

No comment. But I would tend to agree.....

Consolidate FBI and CIA into a single agency. Keep the best agents, fire the bureaucrats.

Makes sense to me!

Make defense spending first order of budget.

Hell no....health care and welfare should be number one!

Fully privatize Social Security. The government has too much control over tax money as it is -- let professionals get do it and it right.

Totally disagree.

Withdraw from all treaties signed by the United States and now defunct Soviet Union. Renegotiate and rewrite any important ones. Use ABM Treaty as Kleenex.

The US required Russia to take on all the treaties of the old Soviet Union. But now they don't suit the US, so lets get rid of them, for the same reason we made them take them in the first place....right....This is solid logic

 

[amadeus]

Originally posted by CornMaster
Don't remember what INS stands for. But I can't disagree here either....it would make the country a better place if everyone spoke English well.

Immigration & Nationalization Service.

I think that not fair at all. Labeling all these countries as "full of terroists" is VERY bad. AKA Japanese of WWII.

I'm just saying we should look at who we have here, before we let anyone else in.

I thought Taiwan was already considered it's own Nation?

Read up on the "One China" policy.

http://www.brook.edu/dybdocroot/comm/policybriefs/pb072/pb72.htm

You would have to go into more detail before I can agree/disagree.

Cut the corporate welfare altogether. It's hurting taxpayers.

For personal welfare, just make it an temporary support system (three to six months) for people that have been fired, laid off, etc. Not for people that quit.

Hummm......that's a tough one.....Probably...

Arafat's got to be responsible for his people.

Modernizing the economy is fine....but installing a pro-west government is excatly what the communists did in Eastern Europe...and most people didn't like that. (Pro-Communist government)

Well, we did that to the Republic of Korea and look how they turned out

Hummm....another tough one.....I really pro public things...so I'd have to disagree.

Private funding gives a greater incentive for the people in public media to work harder. If they screw up, they're gone.

I agree....but not for the same reasons that you do.

People are smuggling stuff between the United States and Cuba anyhow, may as well capitalize off of it.

Now....you all know how I feel about "missile shields" So I won't go there. Let me just say....another totally bone-head idea. Prone to failure, doomed to fail and be the biggest waste of tax payers money of all time. Plus...protecting South Korea and Taiwan is stupid. Make immediate enemies of North Korea (I know...they hate the US already. ) and China.

As long as we've got deep pockets, there's nothing they can do.

No comment. But I would tend to agree.....

3 million people is enough to support a country. Look at the power of Libya, and they've only got some 5 million.

Makes sense to me!

The intelligence agencies can't communicate as it is. Let's get rid of this "Family Feud" crap.

Hell no....health care and welfare should be number one!

If I have MiG-31's flying around my house, I want someone that can shoot those commie bastards down

Totally disagree.

Figured you would

 

[Kefka]

rmsharpe you are forgeting a few things
Bush could not do most of that stuff that you would try and make him do cause of a little thing called the Senete and Checks and Balances.
Remember our President does not have the last word on everything is our President elect not our
and if he would do to much unpopular stuff he would not be the Pres. anymore

 

[scorch]

Originally posted by rmsharpe


Install pro-Western governments in Iraq and Iran, begin modernizing Iranian and Iraqi economy.

Ooh ooh ooh ooooooooh!!!!

Can you please specify this further? what do you mean by 'pro-western'. And remember that americas current system is anti-eastern (???).

 

[CurtSibling]

Rmsharpe, you had better work on that manifesto before you run for office!

 

[Hamlet]

Spank his botty and send him to bed without any pretzels.

 

[Kinniken]

It's not a double standard when you act in your own interests, which I'd be doing.

That's all I wanted to hear rmsharp say. At least he is not being an hyprocrite... just a good old plain imperialist. Respectable view, I guess. Frequent in World History.

However, that means an end to that "We are doing it all for democracy, freedom and the morality of it all" b******. Good ridance

Now, I do hope this guy never makes it to the White House...

(edit: gallicism)

 

[Simon Darkshade]

I agree with a lot of the points of rmsharpe.
Exceptions are:
the UN point (I would make it work for evil )
the flat tax
the scrapping of Social security and welfare
Ballistic missile shield for US, Taiwan and South Korea. - I would include Australia.
Withdrawing from all treaties - hmm, I would do it on a case by case basis. Some of them can still stay. It is only a matter of nit-picking.

The things George would do when controlled by Darkshade:

Boost military spending big time, implementing various new programs.

Build up the active strength of the military, and build up smart weapons stockpiles. Increase forces for speedy activation and intervention

Reactivate the Iowa class battleships, and further modernise them.
Furthermore, start building new super battleships, with 25 inch guns, 25 inch armor, nuclear reactors, AEGIS radar, and Tomahawk VLS cells, among other features

Take out Saddam Hussein's regime in Iraq. Ditto Iran. Get the Sixth Fleet to pay a "visit" to Libya (shelling Tripoli )

Invade Zimbabwe and impale Robert Mugabe. Install the proper democratic government.

Haul Indonesia over the coals to make them punish those responsible for the East Timor atrocities.

Provide Australia with up to date military equipment, and lots of it.

Give Arafat a real ultimatum to work for peace, or else...

Invade North Korea, and overthrow the dictatorial communist government, burning Kim Jong Il at the stake live on CNN, with Georgwe providing appropriately ghoulish, delighted commentary.

Tell Strom Thurmond that it is time to retire.

Change the means of delivering the death sentence to one bullet in the back of the head. Again, on live TV. Commentary optional.

Grow a moustache and beard.