[RD] I'm transitioning. If you've ever been confused about the T in LGBT, ask me anything

[emzie]

Hi, CFC. It's been a while.

I'm currently in the process of transitioning from male to female. I'm currently on Hormone Replacement Therapy(HRT) and on provincial waiting list for sex reassignment surgery(SRS). I imagine most of you do not know anyone like me and you might have always wondered something about people like me. I am getting ready to tell my extended family (aunts/uncles, cousins, grandparents) and I wanted to practice taking questions for when they undoubtedly have many. I would be grateful to try and answer anyone's curiosity. ^.^

Spoiler photo :

You are welcome to ask as many follow up questions as you would like. However, this thread is not a place for debate. If you're here to argue instead of listen, please do not post.

All questions will be answered as if gender dysphoria is a real thing, because it is.

I will answer questions to the best of my ability and I will try and make clear what is my opinion and what is well-supported by research.

Do not worry about asking an awkward or rude question. I do not expect everyone to know boundaries and etiquette. With the exception of blatant trolling, I will assume all questions are asked innocently.

 

[emzie]

Post reserved for FAQ, should this thread need one.

 

[Commodore]

I guess I'll ask the obvious question first:

I'm sure you have felt this way your entire life, but when did you know for sure that you are female?

 

[_random_]

What's receiving hormone therapy like? Like how would you describe the before-and-after of your experience?

What are you anticipating to be different after you receive sex reassignment?

And since it's been a while, do you think we'll ever win in the postseason with Marvin Lewis as coach? I remember you being skeptical in the past and I'm curious if this past season has affected your opinion on the matter one way or the other.

 

[whyidie]

Brave soul.

How did you find the courage ?

 

[emzie]

I guess I'll ask the obvious question first:

I'm sure you have felt this way your entire life, but when did you know for sure that you are female?

I didn't feel like this until puberty, at the earliest. I'd say I had my first suspicions when I was ~16, though I didn't have the language to explain myself. Then I forgot about it and thought of it as a phase until about 3 years ago. The more I looked into it, the more I realized what I was experiencing wasn't something most people reported experiencing and thinking. I sought counseling and advice and after like 5 months of talking it through with a qualified psychologist, concluded that yeah, I had gender dysphoria.

Having gender dysphoria doesn't mean anyone has to do anything. Everyone experiences it to differing degrees and everyone has their own unique ability to cope. HRT changes the body quite a bit, but it's still possible to present as male. After evaluating how I felt about myself, I knew I had to at least try HRT. I didn't know if it was the right option or not. Once I started HRT, I noticed I was much MUCH less anxious. I'd been so consistently anxious for such a long period of time, I forgot that I'd ever felt anything else or that anything else was even possible. That was last fall. I wouldn't say I knew like I know now. Body started changing and I was 100% okay with it but still, I didn't know. And then around November I watched The Danish Girl. HRT had unlocked the capacity for emotion in me and Eddie Redmayne's performance left me feeling naked. It crushed me. I knew then.

What's receiving hormone therapy like? Like how would you describe the before-and-after of your experience?

For me, it's like the difference between taking an important exam on good night's sleep and 2 hours of sleep in between tossing and turning. That's just emotional.

What are you anticipating to be different after you receive sex reassignment?

I'll not have a penis and that'll be good.

And since it's been a while, do you think we'll ever win in the postseason with Marvin Lewis as coach? I remember you being skeptical in the past and I'm curious if this past season has affected your opinion on the matter one way or the other.

I think we can win in the post season with him as coach, but I wish he wasn't head coach.

Brave soul.

How did you find the courage ?

I don't think of it as brave or courageous. It's something I felt I had to do if I wanted to live a life where I wasn't absolutely miserable. It's scary, of course.

 

[emzie]

oops double post >.<

 

[shadowplay]

I wish you well with this, and I hope you'll find acceptance with your family.

Are you still married?

 

[emzie]

I wish you well with this, and I hope you'll find acceptance with your family.

Are you still married?

Thank you. Thus far, everyone I know has been super supportive and I doubt that will change much.

I am indeed still married. It's better than I could have ever imagined Had I stayed in the closet, my marriage would have likely been ruined.

 

[Evie]

Contre! Long time no see! Was wondering what had become of you a few weeks ago. Congratulations on beginning the process .

I've thought on and off about consulting a psychologist about this, but the fact is while I'm pretty sure I've got some degree of gender dysphoria, I'm also pretty certain I'd have nearly as much if I were a woman, so it seems like rather a lot of trouble to go through for little relative gain, in my case.

 

[useless]

It's good to see you back and i hope you can get the SRS without any complications.

I've heard it has alot of recovery time, a couple of months, maybe a month at best.

I have two transgender friends, both Ftm (Female to Male) and it's always good to hear the other side of it, i hope your transition goes well!

 

[Zkribbler]

I imagine most of you do not know anyone like me and you might have always wondered something about people like me. [/I]

My best friend from high school went through this almost 20 years after our graduation. He didn't tell me until I went to his house for Thanksgiving, and he answered the door, saying "Obviously, there's been some changes made." Initially, there was massive confusion on my part, but it took me only a few minutes to realize nothing important had changed. She was essentially the same person I'd always know. [She died about five years later from a heart attack.]

So we're getting to my question. A few years after my friend's son got back from Iraq, he too underwent surgery. Have you ever heard if this condition is hereditary? [Oh yeah, my friend's father was a cross-dresser.]

BTW: Good luck on all this.

 

[Omega124]

Firstly I just want to say I have contre's permission for this, I'm not trying to steal her thunder in any way. (And if I do I'm sorry)

I'm Megan, and I'm also trans. Unlike contre, I'm still kind of in the beggining of everything, since I'm still in college, and not particularly in a healthy relationship with my parents, which means my attempts have largely stalled out due to lack of any money. Obviously I'm in a much different position than contre is, and with her permission, I'm more than willing to take questions as well if anyone wants to pose them at me.

Most of the questions asked so far I don't particularly feel are relevant to my situation, so I'll refrain from awnsering them. One however, I will:

I guess I'll ask the obvious question first:

I'm sure you have felt this way your entire life, but when did you know for sure that you are female?

I've been identifying as trans for about a year and a half now (September of 2014). I really have to thank my friends over at the IOT sub forum for helping me get my stuff together and giving me the courage to accept myself. I won't name drop the people in specific because I doubt they'd want the attention, but they really have my eternal gratitude

 

[emzie]

Contre! Long time no see! Was wondering what had become of you a few weeks ago. Congratulations on beginning the process .

I've thought on and off about consulting a psychologist about this, but the fact is while I'm pretty sure I've got some degree of gender dysphoria, I'm also pretty certain I'd have nearly as much if I were a woman, so it seems like rather a lot of trouble to go through for little relative gain, in my case.

If you ever have questions feel free to PM me. Not to imply you're wrong in not pursuing the issue. You're the best person to assess how you feel. Anecdotally, everyone transperson I know knew when they had to change. We were all basically dysfunctional when we reached that point. If you're functional and your life is not being held back by it, then you're fine.

It's good to see you back and i hope you can get the SRS without any complications.

I've heard it has alot of recovery time, a couple of months, maybe a month at best.

I have two transgender friends, both Ftm (Female to Male) and it's always good to hear the other side of it, i hope your transition goes well!

Ontario's pretty progressive. SRS is a covered procedure but there's a rather long wait time (2+ years) at the moment. The province vastly underestimated the demand they'd face and they didn't staff appropriately. It's being worked on now though

Ty for the well wishes ^.^

My best friend from high school went through this almost 20 years after our graduation. He didn't tell me until I went to his house for Thanksgiving, and he answered the door, saying "Obviously, there's been some changes made." Initially, there was massive confusion on my part, but it took me only a few minutes to realize nothing important had changed. She was essentially the same person I'd always know. [She died about five years later from a heart attack.]

So we're getting to my question. A few years after my friend's son got back from Iraq, he too underwent surgery. Have you ever heard if this condition is hereditary? [Oh yeah, my friend's father was a cross-dresser.]

BTW: Good luck on all this.

This is anecdotal, but there seems to be a pretty big overlap between Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and gender identity disorders. It makes sense, since so many aspects of gender are unspoken social cues that people with ASD could have a harder time picking up. Asperger's has a hereditary link. Do your friend and her daughter strike you as possibly being high functioning ASD?

I'm Megan, and I'm also trans.

You rock! ^.^

 

[Commodore]

I didn't feel like this until puberty, at the earliest. I'd say I had my first suspicions when I was ~16, though I didn't have the language to explain myself. Then I forgot about it and thought of it as a phase until about 3 years ago. The more I looked into it, the more I realized what I was experiencing wasn't something most people reported experiencing and thinking. I sought counseling and advice and after like 5 months of talking it through with a qualified psychologist, concluded that yeah, I had gender dysphoria.

Having gender dysphoria doesn't mean anyone has to do anything. Everyone experiences it to differing degrees and everyone has their own unique ability to cope. HRT changes the body quite a bit, but it's still possible to present as male. After evaluating how I felt about myself, I knew I had to at least try HRT. I didn't know if it was the right option or not. Once I started HRT, I noticed I was much MUCH less anxious. I'd been so consistently anxious for such a long period of time, I forgot that I'd ever felt anything else or that anything else was even possible. That was last fall. I wouldn't say I knew like I know now. Body started changing and I was 100% okay with it but still, I didn't know. And then around November I watched The Danish Girl. HRT had unlocked the capacity for emotion in me and Eddie Redmayne's performance left me feeling naked. It crushed me. I knew then.

You're experience sounds similar to a woman I dated for a while that was male to female. She had been going through the HRT for quite some time but couldn't get the SRS since her insurance wouldn't cover it and she didn't have the money to pay for it.

I think we can win in the post season with him as coach, but I wish he wasn't head coach.

Just to be clear: are you two talking about the Cincinnati Bengals? If so, I agree with your assessment.

 

[emzie]

You're experience sounds similar to a woman I dated for a while that was male to female. She had been going through the HRT for quite some time but couldn't get the SRS since her insurance wouldn't cover it and she didn't have the money to pay for it.

Not a day goes by where I'm not hugely thankful OHIP covers SRS. I think American insurance companies are going to start having to cover it if the individual has strong documentation.

Just to be clear: are you two talking about the Cincinnati Bengals? If so, I agree with your assessment.

Ya, I grew up in Cincinnati ^.^

 

[Commodore]

Not a day goes by where I'm not hugely thankful OHIP covers SRS. I think American insurance companies are going to start having to cover it if the individual has strong documentation.

I think we're moving in that direction. I think some insurance companies are starting to offer it, but with much higher premiums than a normal coverage plan. That's because the insurance companies are categorizing it as an "elective surgery".

Ya, I grew up in Cincinnati ^.^

Same here. In fact, I still live here. I have lived in other places, but I've always ended up coming back to Cincinnati.

 

[REDY]

Have you felt anything special about your body? Have you hated it or find it exciting?

 

[Omega124]

I think we're moving in that direction. I think some insurance companies are starting to offer it, but with much higher premiums than a normal coverage plan. That's because the insurance companies are categorizing it as an "elective surgery".



Same here. In fact, I still live here. I have lived in other places, but I've always ended up coming back to Cincinnati.

I hate insurance so much. I live in New York, and HRT and SRS lawfully has to be covered by insurance. Doesn't mean they don't try to find loopholes to screw you over by getting them out of paying for it.

Take me for starters. Right now I live in Brockport due to college, and I can really only see people in the Brockport/Rochester area due to my parents. In fact, the whole point of me going this far west was so I could transisition in peace. However, my insurance is... Mean.

Since I'm "out of market" and I'm not actually diagnosed with anything, they won't cover any co pay. I have to go home, go find a doctor that's in my network, have them diagnose me for gender dysphoria (which could take a while, and I'd be only home for summer pretty much), and then and only then will they cover me for services in Brockport. Maybe. They'll still prolly try to weasel themselves out tbh.

It's so frustrating because even if the law changed, nothing has really changed >_>

Have you felt anything special about your body? Have you hated it or find it exciting?

I think the most "special" thing I've felt is something known as "gender dysphoria" (often shortened to just dysphoria), or basicilly the state in which your mind rejects the gender identity of your body

Dysphoria, for me at least, is more mental than physical. I absulotely hate myself when I look in the mirror, for starters, but that really isn't what I associate with dysphoria.

The best way to describe it is that you suddenly feel... Nothing. Just your entire emotional state shuts down and you literally can not feel any emotion (unless you count dread as an emotion,min which case it's a but load of dread) as emotional pain just washes over everything. It honestly feels like it will last forever in that moment and it's really hard to not just want to curl up in a ball and die. It's a very terrible state to be in and I wouldn't wish it upon even my worst enemy.

 

[emzie]

Have you felt anything special about your body? Have you hated it or find it exciting?

I'm not sure what you mean. The body I'm developing or the body I had?