Imperial Die 2: God Plays Dice

[Gurra09]

1. I'm a pusher, Angola, I'm a pusher! I'll push you into Africa.
2. Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? It's legal in Africa now.
3. Gabon is so fetch. Soldiers, go fetch.

 

[christos200]

1) Invade Paris with three armored brigades.
2) Take over Ireland with the use of three marine corps.
3) Stop the virus and find out who released it.

 

[Ailedhoo]

Installing Big Purple Lock

 

[Ailedhoo]

Chapter Eight: Octave

"Who watches the Watchers?."
James Hauenstein​

As we come to chapter eight we find the American empires grow stronger, though Norway and Paris both succeed to keeping out American invasion forces with the former preventing the destruction of their country. Meanwhile a Memer commander has managed to push through into Bohemia, while the Soviets suffer a great defeat at the hands of the Jainist Horde. Africa descends into a werewolf rebellion and Libya is liberated from the skeletal hands of its lich overlord while India dances to that most honey of voices.

Meanwhile reports of continental destruction may have reach the stars as scientists report strange signals coming from space...

1) Clusterdestroy Norway because immaturity is fun

2) Annex Uruguay using Mind Control Cookies

3) Annex The South Pacific using Mind Control Cookies

1: [1(3)]: the Kingdom of Norway is horrified when you attempted to destroy it; it resisted your continental destruction forces and placed some of your equipment deep under the North Sea. Additionally your scientists report that strange readings from time and space suggest that the destruction of Chile and the attempted destruction of Norway may be attracting something to Earth… [the Kingdom of Norway now stands for the Viking ways. You suffer -1 to your continental destruction, plus you suffer -1 prestige and -1 combat roll. You have activated risks of a super NPC AKA a 6-pointed star]

2: [5(9)] even with mind control technology your forces were unable to annex Uruguay.

3: [13(14)] You have claimed a sea; the waters no longer safe?

1. Расширить шпионаж!

2. мои шпионы будут красть две из точек на звезде Идель урал.

3. Затем, мы вторгаемся снова.


Кроме того, вы забыли перенести столицу в Москву.

Before processing I am going to translate:

1. Expand espionage!

2. my spies will steal two points from the star Idel Ural.

3. Next, we invade again.


Also, you forgot to transfer the capital to Moscow


Now for the conduction:

1: [5] Your next generation of spies were all eaten by attack dogs during their training. [-1 espionage roll]

2: [13(12)] you vandalise the star symbol of Idel Ural; this has not degraded their status as major NPC, just ticked them off a bit which is its own virtue. [steal +1 prestige from Idel Ural]

3: [4(1)] the Horde once more rallied against you; as soon as fighting began they outflanked your supplies lines and forced your infantry to eat their furred hats. Tanks were hijacked and helicopters shot down. In the end your invasion force was thrown into the dustbin of history. Worse still: one khan launched a revenge invasion of Siberia and have now bought your union under threats. What is the fate of Mother Russia? [you lost Siberia to the Horde! -2 prestige, -1 combat roll from loss of forces. Idal Ural gains +2 prestige!]

Use money to turn all my disadvantages into advantages.

Step up my propaganda programming

Use sattelite shenanigans to conquer Libya





Ah, but you have heard of me.

1:[8] Yeah things don’t’ work that way.

2:[5] Lord Hater ends up in charge, focusing on telling the galaxy how awesome he his, all revenue set to his separate account. [+Hater Broadcasts which will provide -1 culture roll till you discipline Lord Hater; -1 prestige and -1 economy]

3:[14(16)] using both satellites (you did not note if you were using just the one or both) you annihilate Gadhafi from the face of the Earth, thus freeing the undead from his control. The undead are now joining your dominion! [you used the one-use satellite; +undead population who give bonuses as you go along. You gain +1 prestige]

1. Resurrect the dead Beatles and use the newly gained Hollywood to make a proper Yellow Submarine movie.

2. Shoo the indigenous people out of the Prairies.

3. Get all the fake people out of Alaska and reconquer it. I'm telling you, no one lives there!

1:[4]: a necromancer from Alberta took the liberty to hijack your resurrection efforts; now you have a undead outbreak in Los Angeles, vanguard by the Beatles. Many soldiers gave their lives containing the undead rebellion in Los Angeles, much of the loses due to being spooked by skeletons. [+undead rebellion in Los Angeles granting -1 to your roll till you deal with it; suffer -1 piety for consulting with magic, -1 combat roll for loss of military personal to undead horde]

2:[6(10)] your forces end in a stalemate with the local forces.

3[18(20)] Comrade Paling has retreated to Russia after you pushed into Alaska. You can see Russia from Alaska; training in combat in American situations will now include Russian considerations too. [+1 to your roll, +1 combat bonus in Russia, +1 combat bonus in the Americas, +3 prestige]

1. Daler's luscious gaze lures Gujarat.

2. Daler's enchanting smile entices Bombay.

3. Daler's exceptional eyebrow waggling excites Mysore.

1: [20(20)]: the peoples’ mood arise so high that Napel joins Gujarat in becoming one with you. [+Napal as a bonus, +1 expansion into grey provinces, +3 prestige]

2: [11(13)]: you are Bollywood gold!

3: [11(13)]: Mysore is most excited indeed!

1) As our defence is so rotten we need to go on the offence. Commander Sahs will lead an attack on Bohemia with our finest noscopers as this is the weakest point in the Polish-Galacian alliance as the wall doesn't cover that place.

2) Remind the GM that a wall has two sides so it should defend me also.

3) Train our generals tasked to defending in Tower Defence games so we can get them thinking defensively.

1: [14(13)] in a blood battle Sahs managed to break through a defensive barrier deployed, even with the enemy usage of Iron Curtain.

2: [18] two things: first the side of the owner purpose allow access to turrets and tower accessible only from the one side of the wall, second it turns out the design was the right way after all and what has occurred was a grevius miscalculation on part of the intelligence services of both the Meme Empire of the Galacian-Polish Alliance, with the latter side beginning to fire much of their spies in embarrassment. [+that wall with bonuses set in opposite direction, plus +1 construction roll. Galacia and Poland both suffer -1 espionage roll.

3: [10] they enjoyed themselves but got nothing out of it.

1. Invade Ecuador

2. Invade Guyana

3. Research space based weaponry

1: [10(14)] Ecuador is now yours. More glory to the Aztecs![+1 prestige]

2: [12(16)] Victory in Guyana has secured your borders with the southern bloc. [+2 prestige]

3: [4(5)] development has entered a great hindrance, with the only weapon developed for tested blowing itself up when activated; thankfully only a minimal casualty rate has been reported but the disaster has embarrassed your R&D. [-2 prestige]

1. I'm a pusher, Angola, I'm a pusher! I'll push you into Africa.

2. Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? It's legal in Africa now.

3. Gabon is so fetch. Soldiers, go fetch.

1: [20] you pushed so hard it went into the Cape. You feel so proud you could push all day. [+Cape added to your realm as a bonus, +1 expansion into grey provinces, +3 prestige

2: [2(1)] remember that werewolf outbreak? You have ignored it for too long; taking advantage of your drug legalization program to spread the werewolf effect across your population with laced drugs. The increase in the population that are werewolves has inspired a secessionist movement in your own capital province; it appears Somalia may or may not be helping this lunar rebellion. [the werewolf outbreak as upgraded into a full werewolf rebellion in East Africa, proving -1 to your roll until they are seen to; has a chance to spring your land into joining the Lunar Republic of Somalia, which has upgraded thanks to the werewolf development. You suffer -3 prestige]

3: [6] no dogs only God. [Theocracy of Gabon is now a power. You suffer -1 prestige]

1) Invade Paris with three armored brigades.

2) Take over Ireland with the use of three marine corps.

3) Stop the virus and find out who released it.

1: [1(3)] your invasion inspires a revolutions; revolutionaries assault and capture many of your tanks, whiles the street of Paris become decorated with red flags along with black & red banners. Both the failure of the invasion and the socialist revolution in France has not done well with your PR. [Second Paris Commune emerges as a power; you suffer -1 combat roll for the great loss of armored units while the Parisians gain +1 combat roll thanks to the hijacking of tanks. You suffer -2 prestige for losing to French militants]

2: [15(14)] taking advantage of your hold over Great Britain your marines secure the east and west of Ireland; the north quickly follows forcing the south to surrender. The conquest of the British Isles has shown your authority in the North Atlantic. [+1 prestige]

3: [9(8)] the crisis continues and your agents were unable to find evidence.

NPC actions

Poland: deploy a spy satellite to gain intelligence over the pesky Meme Empire. [12(15)] Spy Satellite operational; due to a problem with the batteries it will only stay in orbit for a turn before migrating to Mars but for a turn it will help the Polish forces in case they are intruded by or they decide to invade the Meme Empire. [+1 roll against the Meme Empire next turn thanks to spy satellite]

Galacia decides it needs more conscripts; Hungary will provide some once it is secured. [15(16)] Hungary is annexed; troops are quickly drafted into the army but they will only provide suitable cannon fodder for a turn due to civil unrest. [+1 combat roll for turn 9]

Idel Ural decides that Kazakhstan would be better as part of their horde. [3(4)] Kazakhstan bravely fends off the horde! [Peoples Democratic Confederate Republic of Kazakhstan is now a NPC; Idel Ural suffers -1 combat roll and -2 prestige]

The Great Lakes order their forces to practice yoga. [14(15)] Stretch those arms! [+1 combat roll]

Kalahari invests in fishing. [20] A Kalahari fishing vessel has managed to catch a kraken! The monster has been tamed and now is a official mascot of the Kalahari navy. This capture of a mythical beast has greatly inspired Kalahari! [+krakan, provides +2 combat to any sea battles assigned to or +1 to any sea battle assigned to. Kalahari gains +1 to its fishing roll and +2 prestige]

Rajasthan decides it too wants to go to space and launches a satellite. [8] Launch has been cancelled due to forgetting to build the space launching facility.

The Swiss try to invest in star fighters. [10] It has not developed enough in jet fighters to go up to the stars.

6 Starred NPC Potential

There is potential risk that from certain ways a 6 starred super NPC may make a appearance; there are ways to stop this happening. Currently the attempted destruction of Norway may be attracting such a NPC...

NPC Additions and Upgrades

4 starred: Kingdom of Norway, Second Paris Commune and Peoples Democratic Confederate Republic of Kazakhstan
3 to 4 starred upgrade: Lunar Republic of Somalia
3 starred: Theocracy of Gabon

Spoiler map :

Update next Sunday 29th at 6:30AM GMT. Early updates if all orders are in as usual. Keep up the good work!

 

[Double A]

1. Put Lord Hater in charge of an army instead of literally anything else and have him conquer Egypt.
2. Colonize the center of the earth.
3. something something oil money cartoons iran something corporate merger something

 

[inthesomeday]

1. Google Translate denounced as capitalist propaganda. However this may be a boost as the government now trains translators and diplomats, which enter talks with Yakutia to enter SSS.
2. Form Internationale with Kazakhstan and France and any other socialist powers I've forgotten.
3. Kazakhstan and SSS invade again into Idel Ural homelands as joint force, using brutal scorched earth tactics and sending wave after wave of foot soldiers at stone walls until victory.

 

[JamesCaesar]

1. Resurrect the original Paul McCartney to fight the undead rebellion in LA, as the original Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a double.
2. Expand into Minnesota, using an army of military-grade snow plows to win over any natives.
3. Invade the Prairies one. last. time.

 

[Decamper]

1) Caress the ears of Hyderabad with Bolo Ta Ra Ra

2) Massage the brains of Madras with Jalwa

3) Stir the hearts of Ceylon with Dardi Rab Rab Kardi

 

[Wyverncraft]

I shall join, forming

The Independent Principality of Mud
Mud colored
Shandong

And our first orders shall be

1) Raise an army of glorious Sludge Golems

2) Invest in R&D for long-term underwater survival

3) Invent a popular series of mangas, where each one subtly promotes obedience to the Magnificent All-Leader

 

[Ailedhoo]

Welcome to the game!

I will accept your orders and add you as the new 10th player.

Welcome aboard!

Reminder to everyone else: Sunday 29th at 6:30AM GMT, with early update if all in before!

 

[NinjaCow64]

1) Do that thing they did they did in Braveheart with the conscripts turning on their masters except with thr Hungarians.
2) Commander Sahs will continue to march into enemy territory with his no-scopers, this time into Slovakia.
3) Get my generals to read Defending Your Nation for Dummies.

 

[christos200]

1) Invade Paris with three marine corps.

2) Direct a new Star Wars movie and cash the profits.

3) Stop the virus and find out who released it.

 

[Ailedhoo]

31ish hours till lock

 

[Ailedhoo]

Just realised we are a bit pass the deadline.

A softish locked installed!

 

[jackelgull]

1. Mobilize the Aztec war machine for our first war against a player.
2. Invade Amazonas
3. Invade Peru

 

[Ailedhoo]

Apologies but I will do the update in tomorrow morning, sometime after 7AM GMT.

Hint hint for those who have not submitted orders yet; you can take this as a exception but after 7AM tomorrow things will be set in iron.

Future updates may be more stricter; I have been in a most lax mood today.

 

[Gurra09]

Whoops, here's some late African orders:

1. Found the African Meteorological Institute and appoint Karen Smith as its Director.
2. Spring Fling Queen Cady Heron of Africa breaks her crown in six pieces, keeps one for herself and sends the other five to the leaders of the five African NPCs to convince them to join Africa in the name of unity.
3. Fund a "We're not a regular government, we're a cool government" campaign and send out snacks and condoms to all African citizens.

 

[Ailedhoo]

I am afraid it is likely I am going to have to declare this game dead; it was a good run but I kinda lost the willingness and once the GM loses it...

Anyhow I am planning to do a science fiction NESIOT next, which may take influence from Fallen Star. I am looking for a GM to co-op with; I am currently asking NC at the moment. Need to make setting and that but essentially may either be IOT IN SPACE or on a alien world; may lean towards the latter for more contained focus and to avoid the micromanagement issues of a star system based IOT.

Anyhow: thanks for playing this game!

 

[JamesCaesar]

Thanks for running it Aile, I had a good time!