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IOT Classic

The American Federal Republic

After WWIII and the atomic bombings of Boston, Washington, St Louis, and New York, the governments of the USA and Canada merged to keep stability in these times of anarchy. With a capital at Quebec, the AFR hopes and plans to rise from the ashes

Sacrum Unio Europea/('Holy European Union')
The house of Hapsburg-Lorraine was forced to abandon its monarchical titles in times before the Great Steel-Ocean Apocalypse caused gay furries to advance on the world stage, during the glory days where Europe was united under one Union and squabbled with itself slightly less than usual. During the Apocalypse, the Union was among the first to fall, and so would the governments of most other nations of Europe with them, including that of their native homeland of Austria collapsing into squabbling city-states. This, however, was a windfall for the Hapsburgs as the end of the Republic of Austria meant its laws against the Hapsburgs' noble titles were no longer in effect, meaning all their old properties technically belonged to them now. Working with the various Hapsburg scions in Austria's neighbors such as in Hungary and Tuscany, before anyone in Europe knew it the EU was declared restored from a new provisional capital in Vienna. As a federal monarchy ruled by its new Caesar, Karl II von Hapsburg. Who was crowned in a ceremony by the Pope himself.

Detractors of this new HEU argue that its reformed government is 'anti-secular', 'undemocratic', and 'literally just the Holy Roman Empire again', but the government in Vienna denies these ridiculous allegations. Instituting Latin as sole language of government as a neutral lingua franca without having to translate every document twenty-eight times (and mandating that Latin classes be mandatory in all secondary schools so people, y'know, understand anything the government says) and restoring commerce and social welfare systems in its borders, the HEU now looks abroad. It has established a sizable military and begun to look into documents regarding the former memberships in the EU of various neighboring states...

(Attached is a new and current map of the world drawn up by HEU cartographers, who complained that old versions were getting 'too grainy' and 'impossible to use paint bucket on', whatever that means.)
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The Democratic People's Republic of the Pacific announces that, effective immediately, the bandits and corporate thugs presiding over the peninsula of Korea and the territories of Manchuria and Primorsky "shall have all of their privileges permanently suspended" and "be forced to reap the weight of their sins at the tip of the DPRP's righteous bayonet." Therefore, the military forces of the Democratic People's Republic of the Pacific have been directed to destroy all of the hostile forces swearing allegiance to the aforesaid bandits and effect the complete surrender of all control of the aforementioned territories to the authorities of the DPRP. Said operations are presently underway and will continue until the pacification of all anti-revolutionary activity.

A petition recently came forward to the European Diet in Regensburg authored by the Holy See itself. Unsurprisingly, the Holy Father is terrified of the Algerian communes' loose definitions of what constitutes 'disrepute', and fears that any day now they may 'intervene' in Rome itself. The heir to Saint Peter being forced to pay jizya would not only be a stain on the reputation of a Caesar crowned by him but also could constitute a terrifying increase in the Algerians' revenues. With HEU control over Northern Italy in the form of the Republic of Lombardy, Vienna was a natural choice of protector and defender of the faith - in exchange for some minor administrative land transferals. The proposal, though recognized as a blatant attempt by the Pope to take more lands for himself, would ease the process of restoring central government in those lands with the Church's support and earn the Union the loyalty of the most powerful man in Christendom. After much debate, the Diet agreed that The Papal State would be restored and incorporated as a member state of the Union. With Papal approval of the HEU, the petty states of overwhelmingly Catholic Croatia would soon follow suit, which was of particular interest to the bolstered Classis Europa as it gave the Union more ports out of immediate striking range of the Saracen. Only a token peacekeeping force was dispatched to these regions to deal with banditry and the transition of power - any claims regarding a military base under construction nearby Ostia are not to be taken seriously.

Things in the northeast weren't quite so easy, however. Despite initial success in restoring the member states of Czechia and Slovakia, the populace of the former has proven difficult to reaffirm the membership of. The populace of Czechia is largely atheistic and local powerholders refuse to accept the rule of a Catholic Hapsburg, instead choosing to rile up the masses into revolt. In the Fourth Defenestration of Prague, several Catholic nobles and representatives were thrown out the window of its city hall. Rebels have begun targeting the largely pro-Union Catholic minorities in the center and north of Czechia, but the Caesar has vowed to defend and support them and the armed forces are moving in to restore order. Already, a perimeter has been established around rebel-controlled territory, and the Union will not allow this to devolve into another Hussite War.

Finally, in the northwest, the Union has successfully restored order in southern Germany, finally reaching Frankfurt with only minor skirmishes. Discussions are ongoing within the Diet whether to establish a separate South German member state or eventually unite them with their North German cousins; some even propose that several cities, such as Frankfurt, be given direct European Immediacy to ensure institutions like the newly-recovered European Central Bank are kept out of the hands of member states. Debate on the subject is expected to continue for some time.

(The cartographers of the HEU apologize for the failure to illustrate rebel-controlled regions on the world map, and have readded those indicators for better readability - Xs in large provinces and stripes in smaller ones where the X wouldn't fit.)
With a lack of any international support and the valiant efforts of the European Defense Forces, the insurrection in Czechia has been crushed! Prague fell after intense fighting, and those guerillas across the countryside have been systematically driven to defeat or negotiation. Damage to the local Catholic community was prevented by the Union's swift actions, and order has been restored. But the factors leading to the revolt are not to be glossed over if the region is to become a vital part of Europe once again.

Some in the European Diet believe that the revolt was caused by much more than simple anti-Catholic agitation, but a broader fear of the erasure of local Czech culture in favor of an Austrian one as was attempted the last time these territories were ruled by Vienna. Many other territories represented in the Diet found themselves sympathetic to these fears, particularly in the southerly Mediterranean holdings. At the same time, however, entrusting the locals to run themselves after they just revolted could swiftly see them foolishly attempt to secede! The tales of the catastrophe known as 'Brexit' in the old world warn of dire portents should this be allowed to follow through. Karl II, however, assuaged these fears by proposing a solution: governance of Czechia would be given hereditarily to Czech Catholic collaborators who had assisted European forces in defeating the rebels, establishing them as a new aristocracy loyal to Vienna while encouraging them to restore the local culture damaged in the fighting... under the auspices of Catholicism, of course.

This will see Czechia restored as the Kingdom of Bohemia, a loyal Catholic member state of Europe. To help further the process of returning the Czechs to the Faith, a Catholic mission has been announced and supported by the Caesar set to begin operation on the day of its new King's coronation.

With the revolt successfully defeated, the Union's military minds again turn to the Moors...
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