That's not my impression at all. While I think it would certainly be a stretch to call Abigail "the real power behind the president," it nevertheless is certain that she was influential in shaping her husbands' policies. That being said, the influence she exerted was private, not public. She gave him advice; she didn't dictate policy. I don't think any First Lady has exerted the kind of power that would justify being chosen as the American leader in Civ, not even on the level of some queens consort, but I think Abigail Adams probably comes about as close as any. If for some bizarre reason it was deemed necessary to choose a female leader for America, she'd have my vote--but I'd rather have her husband.