Jumping on the bandwagon: Ask a Homosexual

[Nobody]

Do you have gaydar? Can you pick gay people from the stright just buy seeing them? Any forum members gay and we dont know? *Coughperfectioncough*

Doesent the poo issue propose a problem? It must get everywhere.

Although i try to be open minded and i dont care what people do together as long as they are consulting and i work, im freinds with and some of my relatives are gay people, i still cant help but feel uncumfortable around really out their gays* i dont know why i just do. What do you think?

Now im not saying gay people are pedofiles or anything but do you think that being gay, having a sexuality different than the "norm" you are more understanding how pedofiles ect can be attracted to children or animals?

Do you ever laugh at a homophobic joke if it is really clever? i can laugh at myself for things i think are offensive so just wondering if you can?

Do you like will and grace?

(similar to the question about understanding different sexualitys) Are you slightly repulsed (the way i said i am around gays) to any sexuality types. I mean is their anything to gay for you? (like men to love men and woman and dress like a woman but then demand they are lesbian woman, then who are interested in guys to try and lose their lesbinity)

Iv used the word gay all the time what do you prefer? Seems like every name is sometimes good and sometimes bad, like on the episode of boston legal where they call black people "africanamericancolouredblacknegros"

 

[croxis]

Do you have gaydar? Can you pick gay people from the stright just buy seeing them? Any forum members gay and we dont know? *Coughperfectioncough*

Doesent the poo issue propose a problem? It must get everywhere.

Mine is broken. And there isn't an issue with that, but I will leave the details to your own research.

Although i try to be open minded and i dont care what people do together as long as they are consulting and i work, im freinds with and some of my relatives are gay people, i still cant help but feel uncumfortable around really out their gays* i dont know why i just do. What do you think?

Start deconstructing what bothers you. What IS it that they do or are that bothers you? Is it gay males or gay females? Both? A lot of the times when a guy is uncomfortable around a gay man it is either insecurity about their own sexuality and/or this person is perceiving that the guy gay is sexually objectifying them. In which case now you know how many women feel.

Now im not saying gay people are pedofiles or anything but do you think that being gay, having a sexuality different than the "norm" you are more understanding how pedofiles ect can be attracted to children or animals?

I do not know much about the psychology of bestiality so I wont comment on that. I have been told by a couple of psych profs the pedophilia is very different in motivation from homosexuality. Pedophilia is almost always rooted in power dynamics and the behavior seem to develop from previous abuse of similar nature. Homosexuality seems to be biological in origin. So I can not say that just because I am not "normal" doesn't mean I can sympathize with pedophila because it is a different beast that simply manifests in sexual attraction.

Do you ever laugh at a homophobic joke if it is really clever? i can laugh at myself for things i think are offensive so just wondering if you can?

Do you like will and grace?

Motivation and context is really important. A close friend telling the joke obviously isn't out to hurt me and I would probably laugh if it is very clever. If said friends went to a gay bar and told the joke to random strangers he would get the living poo beat out of em. Same thing is a random person came by and told me the same joke instead of my friend. I would probably be offended because the context is missing.

(similar to the question about understanding different sexualitys) Are you slightly repulsed (the way i said i am around gays) to any sexuality types. I mean is their anything to gay for you? (like men to love men and woman and dress like a woman but then demand they are lesbian woman, then who are interested in guys to try and lose their lesbinity)

I'm not really repulsed by anything. Except fisting and watersports. And the type of person you described is really just wanting attention. I'm not a fan of people like that not because of sexuality but because they are dipsticks.

Iv used the word gay all the time what do you prefer? Seems like every name is sometimes good and sometimes bad, like on the episode of boston legal where they call black people "africanamericancolouredblacknegros"

The only reason why the word gay is bad is in the context "That is so gay." As I mentioned before, sometimes when people say that I respond with "No, I'm gay." and they get delightful looks of terror on their faces. Calling people out can be such fun.

 

[Trajan12]

Originally Posted by croxis
Start deconstructing what bothers you. What IS it that they do or are that bothers you? Is it gay males or gay females? Both? A lot of the times when a guy is uncomfortable around a gay man it is either insecurity about their own sexuality and/or this person is perceiving that the guy gay is sexually objectifying them. In which case now you know how many women feel.

But those don't apply to me. To me it just seems really weird, and kind of disgusting and distasteful. How in the world do I break that down?

 

[Kyriakos]

But those don't apply to me. To me it just seems really weird, and kind of disgusting and distasteful. How in the world do I break that down?

You could examine what your view of "being a man" is, moreover in relation to your views of your father, and possible guesses/approximations of what your father thought of homosexuals.
"Disgust" is a rather vague term, but it is pretty sure that it means an emotion which is rather closed to itself, and negates easy attempts to break it down, which is afterall why it appears as a strong emotion.

 

[El_Machinae]

But those don't apply to me. To me it just seems really weird, and kind of disgusting and distasteful. How in the world do I break that down?

You know how you've tucked away that horrible knowledge that your parents have funky sex? Just tuck away that knowledge about any of your gay friends too.

In fact, you shouldn't enjoy the thoughts of your straight friends having sex either.

Basically, stop thinking about what they're not doing at the moment.

 

[Sidhe]

You know how you've tucked away that horrible knowledge that your parents have funky sex? Just tuck away that knowledge about any of your gay friends too.

In fact, you shouldn't enjoy the thoughts of your straight friends having sex either.

Basically, stop thinking about what they're not doing at the moment.

That's not easy to do, someone being gay makes you see that person differently, behave around that person differently, even if you are OK with it it's very hard to behave normally around gay people unless you are used to having them around.

For me this is the reason why prejudice exists and Why homophobia is a good word, no one is 100% heterosexual, if they were then we wouldn't even be having this conversation, because alot of resentment towards gays is based on your own insecurities, not on any rational reason to despise gay people. It is in essence a fear of confronting your own sexuality, some people get over themselves and realise their sexuality is not absolute(not that they're gay at all) Others chose to turn these internal inconsistencies against those who make them feel that way, repressing any thoughts about themselves by externalising them. Most heterosexuals feel a certain level of disgust, but also a worrying underlying curiosity, combine disgust with this and you have seeds of hatred.

Luckilly though if your rational you tend to dismiss your baser thoughts or ideas as being inconsistent with good moral behaviour, but alot of pepole aren't rational and some aren't moral. And no amount of scientific evidence that the issue is not simply a choice will convince them that there underlying disgust is not rational.

 

[Trajan12]

You could examine what your view of "being a man" is, moreover in relation to your views of your father, and possible guesses/approximations of what your father thought of homosexuals.
"Disgust" is a rather vague term, but it is pretty sure that it means an emotion which is rather closed to itself, and negates easy attempts to break it down, which is afterall why it appears as a strong emotion.

My views are similar to my fathers but in no way completely of his doing. I have always held him to be a wise man but I even disagree with him on certain points.

My view of what a man should be is that he should be honest, hard working, and a provider. He should have stable and uncompromising integrity and should never break his word. So I guess you could say that my view on what a man should be is largely influence by my view on what a family counts as.

You know how you've tucked away that horrible knowledge that your parents have funky sex? Just tuck away that knowledge about any of your gay friends too.

In fact, you shouldn't enjoy the thoughts of your straight friends having sex either.

Basically, stop thinking about what they're not doing at the moment.

I cannot bring it upon myself to just forget that someone is gay. It is not even the fact that they have gay sex that is all for me.

That's not easy to do, someone being gay makes you see that person differently, behave around that person differently, even if you are OK with it it's very hard to behave normally around gay people unless you are used to having them around.

For me this is the reason why prejudice exists and Why homophobia is a good word, no one is 100% heterosexual, if they were then we wouldn't even be having this conversation, because alot of resentment towards gays is based on your own insecurities, not on any rational reason to despise gay people. It is in essence a fear of confronting your own sexuality, some people get over themselves and realise their sexuality is not absolute(not that they're gay at all) Others chose to turn these internal inconsistencies against those who make them feel that way, repressing any thoughts about themselves by externalising them. Most heterosexuals feel a certain level of disgust, but also a worrying underlying curiosity, combine disgust with this and you have seeds of hatred.

Luckilly though if your rational you tend to dismiss your baser thoughts or ideas as being inconsistent with good moral behaviour, but alot of pepole aren't rational and some aren't moral. And no amount of scientific evidence that the issue is not simply a choice will convince them that there underlying disgust is not rational.

But none of that applies to me. I am solid in my sexuality and still believe homosexuality to be very unnatural and something that I should disassociate myself with.

I don't harbor any hatred toward homosexuals. I have no curiosity of their lifestyles.

 

[Ansar]

Were you born homosexual or do you think you were bisexual and then picked the homosexual side?

 

[Kyriakos]

Although i think that Sidhe's point is about something in effect, it probably also is too specific and not so much of a general rule, although i am never sure how less calculative/introspective people act/think..

However my own opinnion is that a part of the issue has to do with a rather hyperbolic view of the term "man" and masculinity. Gay people are also men, afterall, they are just homosexual. That this should carry a special emotional weight is not the case, since afterall different people would feel differently of homosexuals.

Parents ussually play a vital role in how one views such issues though, since they are afterall adult issues, and parents are seen for a very long time as beings who unlike the child are part of the adult world.

Since sexuality is another part of one's personality and consciousness, inevitably everything elses affects it as well, so it is impossible to make general guesses about what causes what emotion etc

 

[Sidhe]

Although i think that Sidhe's point is about something in effect, it probably also is too specific and not so much of a general rule, although i am never sure how less calculative/introspective people act/think..

However my own opinnion is that a part of the issue has to do with a rather hyperbolic view of the term "man" and masculinity. Gay people are also men, afterall, they are just homosexual. That this should carry a special emotional weight is not the case, since afterall different people would feel differently of homosexuals.

Parents ussually play a vital role in how one views such issues though, since they are afterall adult issues, and parents are seen for a very long time as beings who unlike the child are part of the adult world.

Since sexuality is another part of one's personality and consciousness, inevitably everything elses affects it as well, so it is impossible to make general guesses about what causes what emotion etc

True maybe I was just externalising my own feelings, but I think that my case is not unusual. And I think alot of people do think in that manner. Of course it's a complicated issue and their are many reasons people hate the lifestyle or wish to remove themselves from consideration of it. I just hope they are rational ones, not stupidity encased in moral objection or personal disgust. A reason why ethical consideration has never been so important in a modern world.

 

[Nobody]

The only reason why the word gay is bad is in the context "That is so gay." As I mentioned before, sometimes when people say that I respond with "No, I'm gay." and they get delightful looks of terror on their faces. Calling people out can be such fun.

How about this? Our have said how gays created a culture to help get their message out their. (gay parades and such). So they make their culture and a way they act. I guess alot of just outed gays act like this to show how really "gay" they are. Is it wrong when other people start saying things are gay.

Gay people where pink shirts to tell the world their gay in proud.
My freind wheres a pink shirt because its all he has left.
I say "Your shirt is so gay"
Gay people get offended.

 

[amadeus]

Can you please stop holding those ridiculous parades?

 

[Insane_Panda]

As a Gay person, I am inclined to agree with Rmsharpe.

Gay parades and much of "gay culture" do nothing to validate our arguments concerning our position in America, and indeed, they only cheapen us.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Many homosexuals say that gay pride parades arr to spread awareness, and force those who are homophobic to deal with it, and that thus they are helpful.

But I have seen that just about everyone who can be considered "homophobic" seems to say that they don't have that effect.

I mean, people can hold parades for what they wish, but doesn't it seem that they are not achieving their stated purpose at all, that in that sense they are counterproductive?

 

[croxis]

Were you born homosexual or do you think you were bisexual and then picked the homosexual side?

I'm a homosexual and never been bisexual.

Can you please stop holding those ridiculous parades?

I think I mentioned in this thread I have never been in a gay parade. I've been in plenty of others for band though!

Like I also mentioned, the parades served an important function from Stonewall to within the past 15 years in pushing the issues into public discussion. The need for parades for this function has been reduced.

There is one thing I want to point out however. Of all of you who don't like the parades, have you been and watched one in its entirety? The media loves to fixate on the strange which is why many people think that the parades are full of drag queens and guys in assless chaps. I have been told that, here in Portland anyways, these outrageous things are really only a small part of the parade. The bulk of the parade are gay parents and PFLAG and gay students and just otherwise normal people.

How about this? Our have said how gays created a culture to help get their message out their. (gay parades and such). So they make their culture and a way they act. I guess alot of just outed gays act like this to show how really "gay" they are. Is it wrong when other people start saying things are gay.

Gay people where pink shirts to tell the world their gay in proud.
My freind wheres a pink shirt because its all he has left.
I say "Your shirt is so gay"
Gay people get offended.

That is not the context that word is used however. Something is called gay in a negative light. Same as calling it stupid or lame or that it sucks.

 

[GenMarshall]

What are the pride parades like? Would you believe that an indivdual who is watching would see the whole picture than just is seen in the media?

 

[Ansar]

Do you consider this guy hot (attractive)? Would he attract most homosexual men?

 

[Trajan12]

Do you consider this guy hot (attractive)? Would he attract most homosexual men?

........How exactly did you come across that picture?

 

[GenMarshall]

........How exactly did you come across that picture?

One word...

...Perfection.

 

[Sidhe]

One word...

...Perfection.

I don't know he's quite hot but perfect? Probably high maitenance you know the type: they look fantastic and know it. But hey you go girl