kids these days...

[philippe]

If your children become so out of control that physical violence is your only recourse, then the fault lays with the parents, not the child. In these cases, I'd sooner advocate beating the parent(s).

Slapping isn't a "last resort", if you use it as "last resort" it's ineffective.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Do you think corporal punishment is acceptable when performed by people who arn't parents? E.g, Schools?

I know back in the days of Catholic school nuns unleashed, some schools had parents sign consent forms. In others, the punishments just came with the territory.

 

[D'Artagnan59]

Corporal punishment in other places is wrong, period. It is so harsh that only parents should do it.

I believe it is a last resort (philippe, that war helped me realize something). If you gave a violent child who whacks you, then whack him with your hand. And only the hand.

 

[Catharsis]

Are you allowed to slap/spank your children in the USA? I assume they've got rid of corporal punishment in schools.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

Are you allowed to slap/spank your children in the USA?

In the home, I'm pretty sure they don't count it as child abuse as long as it's dealt out as punishment, and not a random senseless beating. In public it's mostly just frowned upon, although I have seen more than a few approving glances towoards disciplinarian parents.

 

[LucyDuke]

Oh, thanks for reminding me.

While you should never whack someone else's child if it is a brat, it should be okay to whack a parent if their child is a brat.

 

[D'Artagnan59]

No. Still legal in 20 states (97% of Ohio districts ban it).

In Japan, Sweden, Spain, Iceland, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Austria, the Netherlands, Germany, Hungary, Israel, Italy, Malta, Cyprus, Croatia, Bulgaria, Romania, Ukraine, Latvia, Estonia, Greece, South Africa and New Zealand, spanking's illegal.

Lucy, I was saying that spanking should be a last resort.

 

[JohnRM]

Children only misbehave if their parents are bad?

Physical punishment may be the best recourse even if it isn't the only.

It is within a child's nature to explore, learn new things, and imitate its parents. There is no natural tendency in children to do anything other than that.

Of course, you ask a tough question and the answer depends greatly upon what constitutes "misbehaving".

To some parents, an infant or toddler crying because it is hungry and wants to you to get off your butt for just a second to feed it, constitutes "misbehaving."

To some parents, a child who is often not payed attention to --- because the parent would much rather watch television, go out drinking, or is more in love with his/her job --- and then acts out due to that lack of attention, is claimed to be "misbehaving."

To some parents, when a child decides to copy the acts of the adults around them, most specifically the parents, and these acts are profane or lewd, the parents describe that as "misbehaving."

"Do as I say, not as I do." Sorry jack-off, your children have an almost irresistible urge to copy everything that you do. You, as a parent, should know this. They WILL copy everything you do. If you don't want them to do it, stop doing it yourself. Your job is to teach your children how to live and your children learn almost exclusively by example, rather than by your decree.

Your children are not an accessory, either. There are a great responsibility. You have to actually pay attention to your children and teach them stuff worthwhile. You have to provide a good example to them. You CANNOT allow television, video games, and other people raise your children. If you do and they "misbehave", then YOU'RE at fault.

So, no. In my opinion, physical punishment is not the best recourse. Physical violence occurs when one or more parties to an event lose control of the situation. Children who've had violence done to them by parents lose trust and the feeling of security and safety with their parents. They become less out-going and more introverted. And the violence never solves the root of the problem, though it may terrify your children into silence and submission for the moment.

 

[Bill3000]

No. Still legal in 20 states (97% of Ohio districts ban it).

In Japan, Sweden, Spain, Iceland, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Austria, the Netherlands, Germany, Hungary, Israel, Italy, Malta, Cyprus, Croatia, Bulgaria, Romania, Ukraine, Latvia, Estonia, Greece, South Africa and New Zealand, spanking's illegal.

Lucy, I was saying that spanking should be a last resort.

It's illegal in the orthodox states?

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Well, my siblings and I were spanked and we seemed to turn out all right. That is (I suspect) because it was very rare and because we always got lots of positive attention.

If I had kids, I would keep it as an option but would do everything I could to avoid ever using it.

 

[lovett]

Are you allowed to slap/spank your children in the USA? I assume they've got rid of corporal punishment in schools.

It's legal in 22 states, although most districts don't don't do it. It's stil ldone alot. Apparently several hundred thousand people are physically punished (at school) each year.

 

[scherbchen]

let me rephrase my earlier statement.

I have no children but I have a niece of 2 who can be dauntingly taxing. I sit here for a couple of days every now and then and I am exhausted as hell at the end of it. I'd rather chew off my right hand than let harm come to her. You are asking me if I'd spank her?

How's about limiting this poll to people who actually know small kids and except the ones who still are without any experience in the matter or harbor ill feelings towards their parents they have not yet resolved?

not possible, I know...

 

[JohnRM]

Well, my siblings and I were spanked and we seemed to turn out all right. That is (I suspect) because it was very rare and because we always got lots of positive attention.

If I had kids, I would keep it as an option but would do everything I could to avoid ever using it.

Well, of course. I'm not saying that you hit your child once and they're gone forever. I am not saying that if you hit your child once that you're the epitome of evil. It is a cumulative effect and often where physical violence is established as a typical mode of redress for "misbehaving", the parenting regime leaves something to be desired, to say the least.

Many children, including myself, have come out of childhood having been hit before by their parents and have done well enough, but overall, physical violence against children has a cumulative and negative effect.

 

[LucyDuke]

No. Still legal in 20 states (97% of Ohio districts ban it).

In Japan, Sweden, Spain, Iceland, Finland, Denmark, Norway, Austria, the Netherlands, Germany, Hungary, Israel, Italy, Malta, Cyprus, Croatia, Bulgaria, Romania, Ukraine, Latvia, Estonia, Greece, South Africa and New Zealand, spanking's illegal.

Lucy, I was saying that spanking should be a last resort.

What's that in response to?

Of course it's not okay to hit children. All you're teaching them is to respond with violence. Children do not respect their parents if their beaten. While they may act behaved to your face, when you're not looking...

I was never beaten. I was barely even sent to my room. However, I do what my parents tell me to do. I was always considered the best behaved student in my classes. I behaved out of respect to my parents, not out of fear.

A whack is not the same thing as a beating.

 

[JohnRM]

let me rephrase my earlier statement.

I have no children but I have a niece of 2 who can be dauntingly taxing. I sit here for a couple of days every now and then and I am exhausted as hell at the end of it. I'd rather chew off my right hand than let harm come to her. You are asking me if I'd spank her?

How's about limiting this poll to people who actually know small kids and except the ones who still are without any experience in the matter or harbor ill feelings towards their parents they have not yet resolved?

not possible, I know...

Well, as per my qualifications. I almost exclusively raised my sister from the age of four years until she was nine. I do not have any children of my own, but I have many children in my family and among my friends whom I've formed a close relationship with. I've seen the results of different styles of parenting. Physical violence has an almost entirely negative effect on children.

By the way, one other thing that I observed that has a vastly overwhelming and positive effect on a child's behavior is having them around a big family with a lot of people on a regular basis with plenty of time away from the parents (hours, not days or weeks). The children in our family who've spent a great deal of time with their other family members have been vastly more well-behaved, polite, quiet, and seem far more intelligent that those who have not.

WARNING: Some of you might say, 'duh!'

 

[mrt144]

This is something I ponder; why did I never get out of line despite knowing my parents would never slap me?

 

[LucyDuke]

There's not just one way to do things.

 

[scherbchen]

By the way, one other thing that I observed that has a vastly overwhelming and positive effect on a child's behavior is having them around a big family with a lot of people on a regular basis with plenty of time away from the parents (hours, not days or weeks). The children in our family who've spent a great deal of time with their other family members have been vastly more well-behaved, polite, quiet, and seem far more intelligent that those who have not.

I heartily agree.

To those claiming "and I turned out allright" a say you this: so did a lot of people escaping our concentration camps. I do not mean to belittle the suffering of those escapees rather than admire their tenacity. All I am saying is that "we used to walk 20 miles in the snow just to get to our shoes" line has jumped the shark a long time ago.

let's not even get into the people who say they are fine and then do crazy things. just saying it and repeating it to yourself does not necessarily make it true.

 

[Mise]

It's easier to spank a child when they're naughty than to teach them good behaviour.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

It's easier to spank a child when they're naughty than to teach them good behaviour.

Yes, but jeez, way to take the path of least resistance. You also might end up with a pretty messed up kid if you're not careful.


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