Kennigit
proud 2 boxer
I found this list funny, atleast worthy of a copy and paste: It is supposed "man laws", many of which are 100% true. Perhaps CFC can get creative and add some.
Spoiler :
1. No wasted beer, period.
2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control
3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period.
4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his frinds home)
5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.
6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal. Also if at a sports event (only manly sports) or concert where this isnt possible the rule is void but eyes forward on the wall
7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.
8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.
9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.
10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.
11. Use of the word Canada is prohibited, the word shall be substituted with "the place above America" or any other variant of America such as, place above United States, The Stars and Stripes, and etc.
12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.
13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.
14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed.
15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.
16. It is PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed apon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.
17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.
18. You poke it you own it.
19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.
20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.
21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.
22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing).
23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar.
24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.
25. BEING GAY IS NOT ALLOWED... EVER, NO EXCEPTIONS. All gay "people" lose the title of man, and should never be referred to, in any context, as man.
26. All men must eat meat. A horsehockyload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick . .. .. .. . like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.
27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.
28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"
29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.
30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend.
31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.
32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes.
33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.
34. Cheerleading is not a sport.
35. Women can't drive.
36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.
37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Man. .. .. .. .. ." from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.
38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support
39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.
40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.
41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.
42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.
43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room.
44. Sex is more important then talking
45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.
46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.
47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat
48. Men will invite other men to Man Law
49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "its not their brand."
50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.
51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.
52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.
53. If you spill a mans beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.
54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you cant drink it in said time, dont open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.
55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.
56. It is never a mans responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbors lawn.
57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.
58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.
59. The bachelors party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).
60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.
61. A man purse is still a purse.
62. No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.
63. Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team.
64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life.
65. If you do not sweat, its not a sport.
66. If a large snake catches a man offguard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.
67. No man shall wear a beret unless its for his military service.
68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.
69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.
70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.
71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story.
72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Besides, sharing is caring.
73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.
74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man.
75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.
76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.
77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.
78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.
79. No fruting beer
80. Any man caught with a camera at a bachelor's party shall be shunned and banned from future parties
81. no man's cell phone shall have dangling trinkets or be pink, no matter how cute the women think it is.
82. No man will never ask anyone else to open a twist off cap for him.
Exception: you lost your hands in a tragic shark wrestling episode, but you should consider a bottle opener attachment to your prosthetic
83. No man will ever TyPe LiKe tHiS. (please note that i copy and pasted this)
84. No man should ever pay for a tan.
It should happen as God intended: falling asleep drunk by the pool while staring at women in bikinis.
85. No man over the age of 35 is allowed to wear his cap backwards. You're getting old, just accept it.
86. If you are in the bed with a chick, you have to make a move, otherwise you will instantly be stripped of all manliness and possibly (if the chick is insanely hot) castrated and hung naked from a tree. Exceptions to this rule would be if for some reason you are related to the girl or she is too young.
87. No man shall ever peel the skin off of fried chicken, unless the material used to fry the chicken is a strange fat free or tofu substance.
88 a. No man shall ever favor, or cheer for more than one sports team in each league or level of play, be it NFL, College FB, NBA, College Basketball, etc.
- Exception #1 - to this rule is if another team to winning, somehow benefits your team (ex. making the playoffs). BUT you shall not cheer for this team to win so your team can make the playoffs but you will root for the other team to lose
- Exception #2 - In contrast to having a favorite team, every man may have afavorite team to HATE. Just using NC as an example since i live here it is acceptable to be a NC State fan and hate UNC and Duke
88 b. In a measure to prevent bandwagoning, all favorite teams must be determined by the age of 18 - the age where the government determines manhood. No change of a favorite team can occur after this age, failure to follow will result in demotion of manliness and constant ridicule of friends.
89. A man will not call anything by a color outside of the ROYGBIV spectrum excluding two colors. Indigo is worthless and should never be used and violet is purple. The new man version of the visible light spectrum is now ROYGBP. More precise color terms can be used when discussing automobiles, boats, motorcycles, and any other form of manly transportation.
- Exception #1. You may refer to a shade of a certain color using its respective sports team color.
90. A fellow man shall never be ditched for a girl in the friend zone, unless this girl is hot and its agreed by both men that you have a chance to get with this girl
91. When going to a movie with a group a empty seat must be used between men unless there is absolutly no where else to sit or another showing where the rule can be observed.
-Exception #1 - it is only ok to sit next to another man friend if any other seat in the theater he would have to sit by a unfamiliar male or a unatractive and fat chick
92. No man should ever carry or own a pocket mirror thats just gay.
93. It is perfectly acceptable to wear clothes two or three times before washing but isnt recommended to go on any dates until getting some fresh clothes
94. You shall not refer to other guys as 'pimps'+'pimpin'+or anyform there of....complications with the word may make you look gay for doing such.
95. All men are required to watch the Super Bowl, whether or not their favorite team is in it, no exceptions
The Pro-bowl is optional, but highly recommended
96. Man thongs are not allowed, period.
2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control
3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period.
4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home.
(The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with his own girlfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full resposibility of driving his frinds home)
5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar.
6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal. Also if at a sports event (only manly sports) or concert where this isnt possible the rule is void but eyes forward on the wall
7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you.
8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death.
9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need.
10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets.
11. Use of the word Canada is prohibited, the word shall be substituted with "the place above America" or any other variant of America such as, place above United States, The Stars and Stripes, and etc.
12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it.
13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours.
14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed.
15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of paper rock scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun.
16. It is PAPER, ROCK, SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed apon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober.
17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom.
18. You poke it you own it.
19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men.
20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out.
21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day.
22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing).
23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar.
24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances.
25. BEING GAY IS NOT ALLOWED... EVER, NO EXCEPTIONS. All gay "people" lose the title of man, and should never be referred to, in any context, as man.
26. All men must eat meat. A horsehockyload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick . .. .. .. . like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting.
27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies.
28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry"
29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you.
30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend.
31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day.
32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes.
33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved.
34. Cheerleading is not a sport.
35. Women can't drive.
36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10.
37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Man. .. .. .. .. ." from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not.
38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support
39. No more crushing of empty beer cans or your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.
40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.
41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal.
42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war.
43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room.
44. Sex is more important then talking
45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm.
46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking.
47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat
48. Men will invite other men to Man Law
49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "its not their brand."
50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not.
51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes.
52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza.
53. If you spill a mans beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup.
54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you cant drink it in said time, dont open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review.
55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped.
56. It is never a mans responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbors lawn.
57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer.
58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway.
59. The bachelors party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment).
60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality.
61. A man purse is still a purse.
62. No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex.
63. Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team.
64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life.
65. If you do not sweat, its not a sport.
66. If a large snake catches a man offguard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once.
67. No man shall wear a beret unless its for his military service.
68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone.
69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man.
70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex.
71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story.
72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Besides, sharing is caring.
73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only.
74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man.
75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand.
76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men.
77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone.
78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth.
79. No fruting beer
80. Any man caught with a camera at a bachelor's party shall be shunned and banned from future parties
81. no man's cell phone shall have dangling trinkets or be pink, no matter how cute the women think it is.
82. No man will never ask anyone else to open a twist off cap for him.
Exception: you lost your hands in a tragic shark wrestling episode, but you should consider a bottle opener attachment to your prosthetic
83. No man will ever TyPe LiKe tHiS. (please note that i copy and pasted this)
84. No man should ever pay for a tan.
It should happen as God intended: falling asleep drunk by the pool while staring at women in bikinis.
85. No man over the age of 35 is allowed to wear his cap backwards. You're getting old, just accept it.
86. If you are in the bed with a chick, you have to make a move, otherwise you will instantly be stripped of all manliness and possibly (if the chick is insanely hot) castrated and hung naked from a tree. Exceptions to this rule would be if for some reason you are related to the girl or she is too young.
87. No man shall ever peel the skin off of fried chicken, unless the material used to fry the chicken is a strange fat free or tofu substance.
88 a. No man shall ever favor, or cheer for more than one sports team in each league or level of play, be it NFL, College FB, NBA, College Basketball, etc.
- Exception #1 - to this rule is if another team to winning, somehow benefits your team (ex. making the playoffs). BUT you shall not cheer for this team to win so your team can make the playoffs but you will root for the other team to lose
- Exception #2 - In contrast to having a favorite team, every man may have afavorite team to HATE. Just using NC as an example since i live here it is acceptable to be a NC State fan and hate UNC and Duke
88 b. In a measure to prevent bandwagoning, all favorite teams must be determined by the age of 18 - the age where the government determines manhood. No change of a favorite team can occur after this age, failure to follow will result in demotion of manliness and constant ridicule of friends.
89. A man will not call anything by a color outside of the ROYGBIV spectrum excluding two colors. Indigo is worthless and should never be used and violet is purple. The new man version of the visible light spectrum is now ROYGBP. More precise color terms can be used when discussing automobiles, boats, motorcycles, and any other form of manly transportation.
- Exception #1. You may refer to a shade of a certain color using its respective sports team color.
90. A fellow man shall never be ditched for a girl in the friend zone, unless this girl is hot and its agreed by both men that you have a chance to get with this girl
91. When going to a movie with a group a empty seat must be used between men unless there is absolutly no where else to sit or another showing where the rule can be observed.
-Exception #1 - it is only ok to sit next to another man friend if any other seat in the theater he would have to sit by a unfamiliar male or a unatractive and fat chick
92. No man should ever carry or own a pocket mirror thats just gay.
93. It is perfectly acceptable to wear clothes two or three times before washing but isnt recommended to go on any dates until getting some fresh clothes
94. You shall not refer to other guys as 'pimps'+'pimpin'+or anyform there of....complications with the word may make you look gay for doing such.
95. All men are required to watch the Super Bowl, whether or not their favorite team is in it, no exceptions
The Pro-bowl is optional, but highly recommended
96. Man thongs are not allowed, period.
