legend of tai

[philippe]

author comment:
this is my 2nd story my first story was bad but this one....
i will try to improve!




the sun was shining in the palace.Xerxes the great leader of persia watched the sun shining and said:"man i have no sunglasses oh well i have better things to do.xerxes
went into the prison where he had captured elizabeth of england.
after xerxes raped elizabeth he killed her with a mini-icbm
oh that was england last queen.oh well now i must now destroy germany.he let all generals come to his palace and discussed the idea of destroying germany.
xerxes:how many men have we?
general bin laden: they all disappeard
xerxes now seriuos.
general bushh well let uss just nuke the empire!
xexres:that is not a option!i must use the cities to make my empire surpreme!
ciggarette men:well we could use some secret projects....
xerxes:what are you talking about?
cigarette men:listen this is off the record. we have discovered something: a alien weapon.
xerxes:why i didnt know that?
ciggarette man:that is confidential
xerxes:GUARDS!!!EXCECUTE CIGGARETTE MAN!!!he is a pain in the ass.
ciggarette menk ok i will tell.in a part in east perzia we discovered a ufo who has crashed.
and we send a message to the origin of the ufo thx to the seti program.now we have got a message back.
they give uss the recipe to a weapon who has never been seen
its called:THE FARTCANNON!!!!!

next chapter coming soon

 

[Lt.Col. Kilgore]

Funny.

"He killed Elizabeth with a mini-ICBM"

Heh heh heh!

 

[Erik Mesoy]

Thats funny.
Writing tip: style matters. Your story is nice, but spelling, capital letter, notrunning wordsinto oneanother, etc would make it a nicer story. Try edit the post. Not nagging, just looking ofr nice stories.

 

[philippe]

i know but its VERY difficult for me.IM dutch and i am actually not so good with english

 

[philippe]

chapter2:THE FARTCANNON

Hello i am woofwoof.I am one of the researchers of the ufo.
Our teams discovered its origin and they send us the recipe of a weapon that has a power we never has seen before.
even a icbm is pity if you see this,this weapon the so called
FARTWEAPON(i think xerxes smoked some joints when he comes up with that name)

THIS DIARY iS ABOUT THE TESTING OF THE FARTWEAPON AND IS TOP TOP SECRET.so this message is destroyed after 5 seconds

1 april:the meeting
after xerxes feasted on the dead body of elizabeth of england
he called his ministers and asked them where they gonna tested that weapon.
xerxes:Well,we cannot use elizabeth.To bad.......
mr moron aka das :well we can use it one my ex wife....
cigarette menoeple are you stupid!?!
we must test it on a city of filthy nazi germany
let uss say euh...aken?
xerxesk poeple let uss test it there

2 april: the testing
after killing some idiotic ssers and some losers of the gestapo
we tested on the known man rommel.one of the fuhrers most trusted men.
now take the fartweapon.
When i asked;What kind of ammo does it uses?
said the head engineer:well....let uss say it uses remains of
the ass.
Poo?i asked
yesoo said the head engineer
now the weapon was tested on general rommel
When the soldier fired a huge stream of poo when straight at rommel it just squashed rommel.
sire that is just the most litle shot!!!!!i said
now let us test it on aken.
when the weapon fired it was litarrely poo flying around.
everywhere where the poo flew the building was destroyed
xerxes said:waw that is a GOOD waepon

next chapter coming soon send your replys plz

 

[philippe]

this should be top secret,so no one may se it except xerxes.

RAPPORT ABOUT PROJECT FARTWEAPON

weight:26.75 kg
ammonitionoo
reload time:very slow
clip of 50 poo shots
power:there are 5 grades of power
1: very small shot:ideal for taking out one men or a group
2:small shot:for killing a horde of 10-20 men
3medium shot: for taking out tanks and artillery
4:hard shot:ideal for small towns and a army
5:very hard shot:this is the citykiller takes out citys in one clip


now equiping on medium infantry.
name: poo shooters
stats 55/20/1
is even powerfuller then modern armor so it is truly a wonderful weapon

end of rappport

 

[philippe]

Thx to the fartweapon we already razed 14citys of the 36 cities the nazis have.i will start a diary now.Who i am i am mr cococococcocococococcococococcocococococcococcocococo also called coc.i am the first man who is equiped with the fartweapon
i am now in group of 6 men who uses as first the fartweapon.
i cannot believe the power this weapon has.
23 mai
We are closing in on berling razed 19 of 36 cities
tomorrow we are in berlin.
i heard the fuhrer is trapped.That is good news .
24 mai
We captured berlin!
xerxes our great emperor wanted that himself excecuted hitler
so he took a fartweapon went to hitler but he slapped him with the weapon!!!HE PUNCHED THE FUHRER WITH HIS FARTWEAPON!!!!!!!!!!!When the fuhrer was dead we told him that he must use that to SHOOT!
Well xerxes was confused.He was still high from that incense.
now the german empire is almost destroyed and we are marching towards the americans.
xerxes really REALLY wants lincolns hat.so he wants to kill lincoln ad steal his hat.we have a crazy ruler!

 

[philippe]

14 june
We destroyed the last Nazi city and we are now marching to America to steal lincolns hat.
15 june
We arrived in New york.We used our fartweapon to cover the statue of liberty under Poo.
The people of New york are not happy with that and they
start to open fire at us.We used our fartweapon to destroy those morons.Xerxes came and watched the dead bodies and he started to sing:alaalalalaalalalalaalalalalaalalalaalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalaalalalalalalaalalalalalalalalalaalalalalalaalaalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalaalalalalalaalalalaalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalaalalalaalalalalaalalalalalaalalalalalaeieieieieieeieieieeieieieieieieeieieh!!!!!!
We gave xerxes some weed so that he should shut up.
and he started to sing :
i named the fartweapon because i got high
because i got high
because i got high......lalaalalalalalala
i want lincolns hat because i got high
because i got high
because i got high....alalaalalalalaalal
i killed elizabeth with a mini-icbm because i got high
because i got high
because i got high............alalalalalalala
I thought:"man he cannot sing"and took my fartweapon and i shot at xerxes.Now i am a hero and the generals said:"im glad we got rid of xerxes."



next chapter coming soon
send your replys!!!!!!!!!!