Discussion in 'Imperium OffTopicum' started by Nuka-sama, Feb 25, 2017.
And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
You sure said it!
Pls get orders in so I can update2nite
I carry Memphis to defeat the Cavs.
I break every law of physics in an attempt to skirt the laws of basketball.
The Shadow Realm surges with energy as a man clad in a white robes and hood slowly walked out, laughing and clapping. He instantly rips off his hood, revealing himself to be Donald "One Man Klan" Sterling, once banished owner of the Los Angeles Clippers and self-appointed defender of the white race against the inflitrated NBA. Through time traveling shenangigans, his chains have been broken, and now he will Make Basketball White Again
As soon as he finds a better team than the forking Clippers
-Subsidise all Spanish lessons as that is white genocide.
-Buy out all the media and replace it with Fake News about how bad Basketball and America is. Glory to the Axis!
I use black WHITE magic to take back control of the Clippers
LEBRON, OTHERS CAUGHT IN THE CHALK ZONE AS THE CAVALIERS FALL TO THE BULLS!
In a surprise turn of events, Lebron James and the Cavaliers were caught off guard when Dwayne Wade used shadow magic to send Lebron, Kyrie Irving-Jenner, and Kevin Love to the Chalk Zone. Without their Big 3, the Cavaliers fell to the Bulls, 99-117, with Dwayne Wade cackling in the distance. At press time, Lebron and the others defeated the Minotaur, but have yet to return to our own world.
AUSTRALIAN CIVIL WAR HEATS UP
The Axis of Evil and Malcolm Turnbull have declared war on one another, and Australia has shattered into civil war. Western Australia and Eastern Australia are fighting one another viciously, and its clear already that both sides may have already lost. Because, you know. Stray'a
IS MARC GASOL TEACHING CHILDREN SPANISH?
THE ANSWER IS YES. DOES HE HAVE SHADOW BACKERS? PROBABLY YES. Marc Gasol is reportedly building up his forces to attack Lebron and the Cavs, but unfortunately the two teams will not play each other this season unless they both make it to the finals. If the two meet, Lebron can surely expect to be beset by angry Spanish speaking liberal children from Tennessee.
BALMER DISAPPEARS! NO TRACE TO BE FOUND AS STRANGE GHOST TAKES CONTROL OF THE CLIPPERS!
HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS ARRESTED FOR BREAKING LAWS OF GRAVITY, BASKETBALL. TRIBUNAL ALLOWS THEM LENIENCY AS THEY FORM POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE TO REMOVE ONEROUS GRAVITY REGULATIONS
Malditos Cavs! Los destruiré para siempre!
"That's not Malcolm Turnbull!" said President Malcolm Trumble "There's no such thing! That can only mean..."
"Yes," said the man pretending to be Malcolm Turnbull "You were expecting a current Australian Prime Minister, but it was me! Abbott!"
this IOT is still more coherent than the Trump administration tho
Don't cut yourself on that edge
fundraise for the PAC and also basketball orphans
USA INVADES BULGARIA!
Following a verbal assault by a young Bulgarian teenage, the American Army launched a full scale invasion of Bulgaria. Losses were minimal and the Bulgarians have since been sent to work the fields and the salt mines, taking care to avoid edgy objects.
I give the Bulgarians access to the most deadly weapon: basketballs and chalk for the chalk zone incantations.
Stephan's Curry invades Turkey and makes it into a delicious curry golden state
The Evil Axis of Four will fund Islamic revolutions is Bulgaria. Bulgaria is definitely the Islamic people in Eastern Europe, we're pretty sure Bosnia was a bed time story we made up to scare white children. Remember, Islam is white genocide even if white people are Islamic.
Also we're going to export the Australian civil war to the next Cavalier Basketball Game. Why ruin your own country when you can ruin someone else's? Death to Basketball!
Steve Ballmer woke up in a cold sweat.
"Oh god, what a terrible dream," he moaned as his senses started to return to him. Faint memories of a terrible decision to leave Microsoft in order to takeover the operations of the Los Angeles Clippers, the worst team in the NBA. Even if basketball is far more powerful than owning a monopoly on modern computer telecommunications, its not like the Clippers are ever going to win anything, ever.
Ballmer tried to get out of bed, but a tightly bound rope prevented any of his limbs from moving! Not only that, but the "bed" he was on was in fact a giant stone altar! A stream of sweat rolled down his face as he desperately struggled against his restraint.
A mysterious spectre approached the tied up ex-CEO, laughing manically as it brandeshed an ornate obsidan knife.
"I do belive you own something that is rightfully mine," the spectre hissed.
"Who are you!?" Ballmer desperately cried out, "Gates? Allen? I'll give you back Microsoft, just leave me alone!"
"No," the appiration cackled, "It is I, Donald 'Three Reichs and you're out' Sterling-"
"What the fork do you want me for?" Ballmer indignantly demanded.
"I want my team back"
"I'M JUST THE CEO OF MICROSOFT. YOU WANT ALLEN, NOT ME."
"You took my team over when I was banished to the Shadow Realm. I escaped, and now I am going to bring white justice back to the NBA"
"Wait," Ballmer hesisitated, "That..... wasn't a dream? I stepped down as Microsoft CEO to run the Clippers? What year am I in?"
"It's 2017," Sterling mocked Ballmer, "the year the white master race will finally redeem America, starting with basketball"
Now Ballmer was more confused than anything else. "Wait, was all that nonsense involving LeBoshWade and Tajikstan-"
"You don't even know the full story," Sterling grinned. "LeBoshWade beat the Venomancer, which led to American President create his islamic communazi dictatorship and banned basketball. Of course, me, the only owner red pilled enough to try to stop him, was banished into the Shadow Realm, which you took over! Then some timeline shenanigans happened, and now we are in a timeline where Venomancer won. Venomancer's victory stalled the degenery of our nation, and now the new American President, blessed he may be, will help me make Basketball pure again"
"So..." Ballmer inquired, "if Venomancer won, are the Grizzlies back in Vancouver?"
Sterling grinned with a chesire smile, "Yes"
Ballmer screamed in pure agony, "NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
Sterling laughed with glee as his captive mentally broke down and started sobbing. "LeBoshWade was supposed to stop this madness....."
"But Lord Venomancer is undefeatable, and the spirit of the Aryan nation willing, so will I! Now in the holy names of Columbus, Nathaniel Forrest, Hitler, ans Trump; sacerfice this white virgin so I may turn every minority Clipper white-"
"Uh," Ballmer protested, "You do realize I have three kids, right?"
"Dude, you worked for Microsoft."
"Oh, yeah, fair point.... OHMYGODNO"
The obsidian knife was plunged into the throat of Ballmer, as Donald Sterling laughed as the first part of his plan was complete.
"Now... time to create the ubermensch..."
To: axis of evil
alliance? trade? trade-alliance!?!?
Separate names with a comma.